From Pain to Purpose: How Creativity and Community Foster Healing with Kelly Oswald

Is creativity a path to healing? Kelly Oswald shares her deeply personal journey of resilience and faith on this episode of the Hope Unlocked podcast. Kelly opens up about her struggles with infertility and the emotional toll of miscarriage, revealing how an intensive outpatient therapy program guided her back to God's presence. Her story is a testament to the power of therapy and community support, featuring a unique twist—how doodling turned into a ministry, offering insights and hope to others facing similar challenges.

Kelly takes listeners through her vibrant world of hand-drawn greeting cards. With no strict plans and a spontaneous approach to art, she explains how curating seasonal packages and hosting art events have become therapeutic outlets for many. Hear heartwarming stories of how creativity has fostered community and joy during tough times.

Lastly, the conversation shifts to the impact of screen time on mental health. Kelly discusses how reducing phone use can significantly enhance well-being, sharing practical tips and personal anecdotes. She also explores the role of faith and community support in navigating grief, providing key Bible verses and practical advice to help listeners find hope and purpose in their journeys.

Kelly's contact info:
Doodles Doing Good on Facebook
Doodles Doing Good on TikTok - @kellyreneoswald

Resources:
Miscarried Hope: Journeying with Jesus Through Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Hope When It Hurts

A Little Something A Lot Of Love - Joy Bombs
Instagram: @alittlesomethingalotoflove

Moms Mental Health Initiative Wisconsin 

Chapters

• 0:16 Finding Hope Through Infertility Journey
• 17:16 Creative Card Making for Inspiration
• 23:28 Navigating Screen Time and Healing
• 36:53 Support and Encouragement Amid Grief
• 47:25 Anchoring Hope in Faith

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Hello and welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm your host, kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching, where I empower and unlock women to soar in their calling and roar with their voices. If you're curious to learn more about how coaching can help you unlock your potential, be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together. Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host.

Speaker 1: 0:50

I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me welcome Kelly Oswald to the show. I am just very excited to have her share with you today, partly because she is a relative of a really good friend of mine who shared some information about this I would say a pioneering project that she has created to bring hope to many and I am just, like I said, excited to have her here today. We were just talking before we got started and I just love her heart. So, kelly, would you just share a little bit about yourself before we get started?

Speaker 2: 1:29

Yeah, hi. So I'm Kelly, I am married. I've been married for about three and a half years to my husband, adam, and he has two wonderful kiddos. I have a bonus son, cason, who's about 14, and his daughter, adeline is nine, and him being a father when we met was just something so special to me. I knew in my heart that I had wanted to be a mom and wasn't sure what capacity that was going to be. So we got together about five years ago and fell in love. We got married. It's been since 2021.

Speaker 2: 2:14

So however many years that is, but we've been just trying to grow our family, we say, complete it. I would love to have the opportunity to be a bio mom and he knows that that's my heart and we've been trying. And so what's kind of come over the over that time? There's been a lot of a lot of bummers along the way, a lot of just doctor invalidation and a lot of bumps and roads to get where we are right now. So I guess that's kind of where my story comes from is the hope that we're finding through infertility. We were spontaneously pregnant last year right before we were about to start some treatment, and unfortunately that pregnancy ended in a loss. It was about seven weeks along and it was pretty devastating a little bit more than I had expected it to be, and so, yeah, the last year has been a ride. What happened?

Speaker 1: 3:31

to you like staying in hope through the journey. This, as we were, as we were talking, you know, prior to the show starting, what I saw in your story, um, and you know whatever you're led to share is, you know the first season was voices of hope from the Valley and I I definitely see how you have, um, just really stayed in hope during a really hard, hard season. Um, would you be open to sharing a little bit more of how you have stayed in hope?

Speaker 2: 4:04

Yeah, absolutely so. Last June is when we had our loss and I have a lot of family, I've got a beautiful Christian community and friends that really kind of wrapped me in in God's love. I would say um, through those first few weeks really after um, I had the miscarriage and we lost our baby.

Speaker 1: 4:35

Um.

Speaker 2: 4:36

I had found that it was pretty necessary for me to go into some deeper therapy after that. So in August of last year I started a four-week program, an intensive outpatient daily therapy program, and it was through there that I was able to just kind of calm my brain and feel God's presence and truly just be reminded of like daily routines and how to function and how to start working on my healing through the grief.

Speaker 2: 5:14

And um, while I was in there, I had just started doodling I had I was very anxious, and um, doodling, I was very anxious, and I had shared some of the doodles just online and one of the women from my church and also just a friend I've worked out with a couple of times, but she had commented on one of my doodles.

Speaker 2: 5:36

You know, I hope that someday maybe you can use this as a ministry to speak to other women who have been in your shoes.

Speaker 2: 5:46

And so it was then that I started kind of praying on how can I be purposeful through this, how can all of this hurt and this grief be worth it? And so that's kind of where I started to feel a lot more of God's presence in my healing, when I was being more intentional about how I was using my hands and how I was, you know, warding off just doing the doom scroll on my phone and turn on some praise music sometimes and, you know, cry my way through as I was just making lines, you know, drawing on some paper, and it got me through, you know, that really hard hump of it all, but so we've been able to find some hope through that and sharing the message that I have been because that has grown and maybe we'll talk about that later into a small little business thing, but it was really through the therapy that I was able to find a release and feel some of God's purpose in the pain.

Speaker 1: 7:02

Now, like had you? I mean, I just realized you know, even myself and and others that I've come across on my journey, um, you know, not, not always, or not many are always, um, I'm trying to say not many are kind of willing to even step into therapy. Like what prompted you to step into therapy, was it? You know, just kind of something that you felt like the what prompted you to step into therapy? Was it? You know just kind of something that you felt like the lord prompted you to do? Somebody else maybe had shared um resource. Kind of curious on that front because, like I said.

Speaker 2: 7:37

I think a lot of us just tend to like I was sharing with you before we started, like kind of pull up our bootstraps, you know you know what I'm saying, yeah, so, um, when I say things were bad, they were, they were pretty bad, things were really dark, and so I, I was in a huge place of hopelessness. I it was very hard to get through the days, and even a couple hours at a time. And my husband lovingly told me a few times he's like I don't know what I need to do. But I know that, I know that you need some help right now professionally and I will love you through it and I will support you through it. But I can't, I can't, give you what you need.

Speaker 2: 8:22

And so, after some pretty tough talks, I just kind of called around to some of the local, I guess, hospitals and I did some searching and I came to find one that had a program that would allow some flexibility, some flexibility. I had to talk with my boss about it and I thank God for our friendship that she was able to see that what I needed was you know, this was more than just like I need a day off or two it's. It involved a whole schedule overhaul and as a hairstylist that's really hard to do. So she gave me so much grace through that too. But I think everyone kind of knew and was like didn't know what to say. But I was not okay and people wanted to help me see that through. So my husband was the one who really prompted it see that through. So my husband was the one who really prompted it and you know, I think there was.

Speaker 2: 9:28

I know there was a lot of support once I started telling my family as well, so well it's.

Speaker 1: 9:35

It's just so sweet that he was honest to say you know, I don't.

Speaker 1: 9:39

I don't know what you need, but you need help you know, like we need people in our corner like that, who can kind of see from the outside what we need, Right, yeah, and now I, you know, I would love for you to share a little bit more about you know how you have a little bit more. You know how you've purposed this pain. You know your doodles I love that you call them doodles. I love to do that. But your heart to really come alongside others, what does that look like for you?

Speaker 2: 10:14

Yeah, so, like I said, I started kind of just doodling while I was taking in information. It was more like group therapy in that setting and so in order to stay attentive and stay, you know, on focus, I needed to keep my hands busy. And so I kind of took that and carried over like rather than sleeping through, the pain and just like the depression was very, very obvious. But that's what I did. I just I started doodling and being intentful with it. A couple people aside from the first woman who suggested, said that they would love to buy some copies, had started using just blank note cards, um, to send in the mail. You know, I've always been a fan of real mail and getting like happy mail and just sending letters out for no reason to your girlfriends across the state or the country or whatever like it's such an easy way to spread joy and relatively pretty inexpensive.

Speaker 2: 11:23

So um. So I started just doodling them and putting, putting them out. I was recording them on TikTok and making quick little videos and people really started watching and and getting into it. So, um, one of my clients had shared. Now I'm going to kind of back up a little bit, but she had shared with me a gift bag.

Speaker 2: 11:49

When I opened it up, it's called a Joy Bomb, and that was a package curated by a local mom who had also experienced pregnancy loss, and her mission from there was to spread joy and let other moms and families who are experiencing this to know that that they're not alone yeah, um you and I had talked about.

Speaker 2: 12:11

You know, miscarriage isn't something that's widely spoken about and, um, I'm really grateful for my network of people that I just kind of spilled my guts on facebook and so people knew what I was going through and I wanted to give voice, though, to the people who don't have that. So I knew that I wanted to benefit my now friend Emily's organization through this joy bomb that I had received. It just had some sweet little gifts in it and, you know, a mug with some tea and chocolates and really sweet reminders that you're not alone. But when I started thinking about my note cards, I was like how can, how could I make this benefit a little? Something, a lot of love is was the name of her organization here in Wisconsin. Um, so, yeah, that was. I kind of started working together with some friends and once I had a decent collection kind of built up, I worked with one of my girlfriends to host a doodle night.

Speaker 2: 13:48

She's the local boutique owner and so she let me host it there and I was able to share my story in and sit down and hear a little bit about how doodling has helped me relax and relieve stress and even worship through through what I could do with my hands and at the end of the night they were able to buy cards if they wanted to, and that night we raised over six hundred dollars as a direct donation to a little, something, a lot of love, and that was insane and just so powerful for me that we could do something, you know, with so many small moving parts, like how huge that end result was Huge.

Speaker 1: 14:42

Yeah, and so after like a nonprofitprofit, is it like a non-profit um ministry?

Speaker 2: 14:49

I? I know she's working on different funding um or like the legal side of that, all I'm not quite sure. Okay, where that, where that stands. Yeah, she was working on it the last time I chatted with her.

Speaker 2: 15:07

So I was able to donate the goods that are part of the gifts that she so a lot of local artists and crafters and just people that have a heart for her ministry. They donate, whether it's chocolates or teas, or the mugs um, sometimes there's little pottery dishes or, you know, some really nice hand lotion in the bag, and so they they vary a little bit from time to time.

Speaker 2: 15:38

And then she also makes these beautiful bracelets and for every bracelet that's bought through her organization, one is donated to those bags as well. Oh wow, it's just, yeah, a really cool kind of grassroots effort that she has put together these beautiful packages incredible and she's like right in your local community too yeah, she lives nearby we're all in just like little suburbs of milwaukee and yeah, so she's been able to reach a lot of a lot of women and family through what she's doing as well so I'm I am curious, because the doodles and your stylist, you, you do good work with your hands.

Speaker 1: 16:24

It sounds like your hands are gifted. Have you, like, always been artistic?

Speaker 2: 16:31

yeah, I've definitely always had an interest, and nothing in, you know, to the point that I ever thought I would make money with my art or anything like that, but it has been something that has always calmed my brain you know, to work with my hands, whether it's drawing or painting, or even at work just you know sculpting haircuts and making really cool color combinations. I've been very lucky and fortunate to be able to use those interests in a way that serves the good of a lot of people.

Speaker 1: 17:08

Yeah, well, as far as your doodles go, tell us just a little bit more about them, tangibly.

Speaker 2: 17:16

You said that they're kind of like a pack of cards, then yeah, so I try to tend to curate a little package seasonally or around Christmas time. I had some Christmas cards, sent one out, and so I just I doodle, I know what comes to mind. I don't necessarily have a plan when I go into it, but just start making lines and seeing what comes. And so I did have it set that I wanted to do a floral package. This past spring was when I set out to do a pack of six, and so what I do is I I draw them and then I'm able to and them and make prints, and that was the fastest way for me to figure out how to recreate them and get them out, because there was a lot of interest in people wanting to support not only me but the other organization that I like to support as well.

Speaker 2: 18:15

So they're packaged there for sale at my salon. And then I just do a lot of other, you know, marketing through Facebook and sometimes Instagram and whatever. Whenever someone asks, hey, what do you have or I'd like to buy some, I just keep them on hand and in stock. Try to do a little bit of a preorder for them too, but yeah, so, like I said, seasonally is kind of how that's come about. Okay, just trying to be inspired by whatever's around.

Speaker 1: 18:46

Do you have like a pack coming up soon?

Speaker 2: 18:51

I have not quite yet. I had every intention of doing more, like a greeting card pack.

Speaker 2: 18:56

as far as you know, bundles that have congrats and thank you, and so it's just a matter of organizing and seeing what the what the interest would be for something like that you know, I try to think forward what's coming up and we're through the major right mother's day, father's day, kind of holidays, but there were a lot of teacher gifts in the last round that I did, so I found the springtime one to be a a well-timed fundraiser and yeah, love it, so can you can ship like all over the us.

Speaker 1: 19:32

Can you ship?

Speaker 2: 19:34

yes, internationally too. I haven't had the opportunity to ship internationally, but I imagine that that would be something super simple to do.

Speaker 1: 19:43

You know, the people at the post office have got to know me pretty well now, so I'm sure that your, your relative, has a lot of post office friends too, right, you know who's who we're talking about. I just love this, so you have like these packs that you're creating. Part of what I love most about it is the fact that you are literally just sitting down and really just getting inspired. You don't have a plan going in. Is it like that? Like 100% of the time?

Speaker 2: 20:21

pretty much. You know, I see there's some artists I follow online on TikTok and Instagram that will inspire some different ideas, and sometimes it's just a matter of, oh, I want to try that out. I have a little mini notebook that I carry around with me and that's where I'll start doing small doodles. And then, yeah, eventually, when I sit down and just get a blank card out, it's sometimes led all right. I really liked this, let's see what it turns into. And other times it's just again, I'm, I'm gonna just go for whatever comes to mind and see what happens. It's really kind of kick-started a lot of my creativity to know how to fill in the places. I've seen a lot of growth in my art even since I started last. It's been almost a year now, but just knowing that I'm able to create those images now and not just so much see it and try to copy it, that's been really fun and inspiring to see myself grow in that way to see myself grow in that way.

Speaker 1: 21:27

So part, you know, a big part of why you're doing this is to really inspire and, like I like to say, be a hope igniter and others who have maybe walked through some valleys like yourself. Have you, do you have, any testimonies of people who've experienced being able to sit down and be creative and heal through that creativity?

Speaker 2: 21:55

Yeah, there's been a couple smaller events that people have even asked me to host, and so one of my favorite events that I did was a friend of one of the women who came, who came to my first doodle night, that big fundraiser. She had actually asked if she could pay me to host a party for her mom. Her, her father, was just getting ready to go through some cancer treatments over the this past winter and she said, hey, can you teach my mom and you know maybe a couple of her girlfriends how to sit and do this? I know my mom is going to be spending a lot of downtime at home this winter and so I've been able to touch base with her and it sounds like that's something that was really helpful just to her mom.

Speaker 2: 22:48

And even so, that woman brought her teenage daughter to the group and you know I haven't done a ton of follow-up, but through my friends they've said that it's it's just been a great opportunity um of a quality way to spend time you know I I think of all the time that I I spend on my phone and how I was super intentional to make those numbers go down every Sunday when I'd get my screen time report, and so I've just been trying to inspire people to do the same, and I think that it's had a positive effect on just a lot of the people that I talked to about it.

Speaker 1: 23:28

Tell us a little bit more about the screen time thing. I wonder if some people don't know about it. And what is? What is your like intention that I like to say intention, some people would say like goals, you know, for the week. I would love for you to you know. I know this is totally a side topic, but I know that it can be like a. It can be like a tunnel that you get kind of lost in when you get on there.

Speaker 2: 23:51

Yeah, so I have an iPhone. I don't know, I don't know how to turn it off, and if I did I would probably do it, but I'm sure there's a way that every Sunday I get a screen time report and it's, you know, very humbling to see daily how much time I'm spending on my phone. Um, I would say in the thick of my depression, I was probably on my phone seven, eight hours plus a day. Um, and I mean, there's plenty of studies that will show, if you need, the influences of social media and how it can lead to your depression, like lead to depression, anxiety and a lot of just harmful things.

Speaker 2: 24:32

And I was trying so hard to be conscious and aware of what I was looking at. Was I seeing pictures of birth announcements and happy families, and did that help me grow or did that create more of a spiral for me? And when I was honest with myself, it was definitely something that kind of induced anxiety. And sometimes I think, as humans, we like to kind of like sit in our pity, and I know I was doing a lot of that in that time. But so it was just an overall reflection, like, wow, I need to get that time down. That's really not serving me in a positive way. What if I spent 15 minutes more? You know like what if I read my bible in the morning?

Speaker 2: 25:20

or when I'm doodling, listen to some worship music instead, and I think when you're intentional about, even if it it's five, 10 or 15 minutes, like your heart is going, intentional about it and I think that was part of part of me, you know, kind of starting to feel better and get through my depression and anxiety. I mean along with the medications and the time in therapy as well, but being aware of what, how I was spending my time, and really focusing on what's going to help me get better um.

Speaker 2: 26:13

I was able to get it down to a number that was less embarrassing, but not even just like. Whatever anyone's number is, that's theirs. I'm not trying to trying to downplay it for anyone else. We all have different needs and. I even use my phone for work sometimes too, but it's just, it's at a number I'm much more comfortable with now and um it shows, I think, a lot in my demeanor and my happiness and my ways to kind of soothe myself when I need it.

Speaker 1: 26:50

Well, I think I mean that I really believe, even though it wasn't totally planned to talk about that, but you know, I think that this is a really big key for somebody who's listening today. You know there are. There are choices that we have, ways that we can, you know, choices that we have ways that we can, you know, walk through that Valley and having alternative ways that are bringing you know, joy, more peace you know, like your awareness is incredible.

Speaker 1: 27:26

Truly, it's incredible. So when you were realizing that you were kind of reaching for the phone or social media, was there kind of like a detox period that you had to go through? What did that look like for you?

Speaker 2: 27:42

You know what I mean? Yeah, I would say it wasn't. I don no, I just tried to be intentional with it. So if that meant that I got up and put my phone on the charger in a different room and walked away, that was definitely just an easy way to help or leave the phone at home If I was going to take my dog for a quick walk or something. I think it was just more so being intentional about leaving it behind and knowing that you know the world's not going to cave in if I miss a notification or don't respond immediately to someone. As far as using my phone for work or even just catching up, what are people doing right now and am I being left out? And you know it was very helpful to not rely on my phone for those types of things.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Yes, well, you are very wise, I must say Every now and then it works out.

Speaker 1: 28:48

I mean it really is. You know, I like to call it simple wisdom. But in this day and age, where it is, you know, a lot of things are on our phones and it can be challenging to not pick it up. I mean my phone. Sometimes it's like here, pick me up and I'm like, no, not right now. I have to almost like tell myself, not right now I'm working. No, not right now. I have to almost like tell myself, not right now, I'm working on something.

Speaker 2: 29:10

There's even a thing that it will tell you how many times you pick your phone up or tap it and look at your screen. And that is such a gross thing. Like it's so humbling.

Speaker 1: 29:22

Yes, well, that is you know. Thank you for sharing that, because I believe that there may be somebody today that's like you know what. I'm going to set some different intentions, maybe over this month. Sometimes it means, you know, kind of taking a look at it for a week and just see, you know, maybe it is going off social media for a time just to see what it's like. I did that for, like I think it was like six weeks last year and it was so nice when I was on vacation in March. It was like I hardly got on there and I just felt more peaceful. You know, even though a lot of what I'm called to do is, you know, part of my coaching, I love just encouraging and empowering people through social media.

Speaker 1: 30:03

So it's kind of like part of my business in a way, but yet it's like how do we balance that with like boundaries, right? Right so it's good stuff. Thank you for sharing that. That is so powerful. Um, so one thing that we were talking about prior to starting, like I said, I know your heart to like come alongside women. Um, just even as you've been sharing today, I really think that this is like so much bigger than you see at this point. Do you feel that?

Speaker 2: 30:38

um, I guess I'm hopeful for that, but I you know it's. It's hard to kind of imagine what, what the impact is of it, but I am hopeful that it's going to reach women and even partners, spouses, you know, grandmothers like I. Just want I want people to know that it's okay to talk about um, I do include. There's a message in each of the cards that I do. There's a message in each of the cards that I do package for sale that it just says this is why I'm doing this. We're here to benefit and support other families that are going through loss.

Speaker 2: 31:22

And then there's a list for resources where to reach out to that group. And then even just to come to my page, I try to speak some joy and some wisdom out there every now and then throughout, like I'll post doodles, as I'm doing them, but I just want to inspire like open conversations and people feeling comfortable talking about their losses and the triumphs after that talking about their losses and the triumphs after that, and so people just like a facebook group that you have, or like, yeah, yeah, I just have a community group.

Speaker 2: 31:58

Yeah, it's a just a page on facebook. It's called doodles. Doing good, one of my girlfriends helped me come up with that, um, yeah, so that's where I share, like a you know quick time lapse of the doodles that I do, definitely where all my brainstorming comes from, when I'm putting a pack together and I have community input on that too what are you looking for and what would be useful in your world? And then when I come across some things that are close to my heart about sharing the grief and, um, the journey to healing, I'll share them there too and just try to inspire people through it. It's just a little something.

Speaker 1: 32:41

You know the power of the internet, like we were just saying, it's right you have to be aware of what you're sharing and posting and hoping that it reaches that that one person who needs it and have you heard from a lot of women that they've just really been looking for community, um having you know challenges, being able to open up yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 33:05

Um, I've been able to just you talk back and forth with a couple people that, some women that are on a similar route as me. They know that they can feel comfortable reaching out and talking about their pain and their triumphs. Group that I joined too. That meets, you know, kind of. Sometimes it's monthly, sometimes it's a little bit more sporadic too, but where it's specifically for women and the people who love them that are going through loss, um, to kind of talk about that too. So just seeing how those groups have grown and um, there's always a need for more of these, these groups is is an obvious way to see that people are hurting and people need support and don't always know where to turn well would you say so.

Speaker 1: 34:02

you know we have a lot of resources online, which is such a blessing, like we can connect with anybody anywhere groups, resources, websites, podcasts. You know books, but when it comes to you know getting in person, how integral would you say that? That is when it comes to being with others who have walked, you know, maybe, a similar road? I?

Speaker 2: 34:29

think I mean for myself personally at least, it's having that, that human contact, that you're looking someone in the eye. That was huge for me to, to be able to connect. I think the internet's a great tool, obviously, and, like you said, there are so many great resources, but the, the actual meeting and the value of human touch that not everyone gets at home or in their daily lives like to be able to meet in person, I find to be a lot more powerful for me. But I do know that other people connect differently, so it's good to have all the options.

Speaker 1: 35:12

Is there a resource that would be able to connect people to local meetings?

Speaker 2: 35:21

Around here where I live in southeastern Wisconsin, there is a group called Momoms Mental Health Initiative and they are an incredible resource. They put together local providers that specialize in maternal care and mental health.

Speaker 2: 35:42

obviously they put together playgroups and online groups for mothers to find what's going to work best for them. I'm hopeful that there's other groups like that across the country, but this group in particular has been a great one for me to connect to and to share with clients in my chair that come in that are struggling, maybe, with a toddler at home and don't know how to soothe them or how to parent them and um, there could just be I need help after my baby's born. I don't. I don't have someone to hold the baby while I do the dishes, and so they'll come over and they'll. Someone will do your dishes and hold your baby for you while you just step away for 20 minutes, and it's a really a very cool group that's very peer-led and it's a lot of moms who have been there before to help others that are now in those same shoes.

Speaker 2: 36:47

And that's been really cool to just know about and share it with other people too.

Speaker 1: 36:53

Yeah Well, I love that you are such a connector and such a you know sounds like you're. Also, I like to call myself a resource distribution center. I love that you can. You know you can do that for others, and sometimes we don't even know where to start, where to go and yes, there's Google. But to have somebody who's actually like you know first of all walked in, you know, walked it out but second of all, actually experience something and be able to, you know, testify to the goodness of something, rather than looking at you know 10 different organizations and be like I don't even know where to start. I'm like in so much grief right now, what do I even do? But for you to come along and just be like this is a key for you. That's huge, yeah.

Speaker 2: 37:39

Yeah, that's one thing I've been super thankful that I don't want to say fell into my lap to meet them, but I've had so many other incredible moms ahead of me and in my circle that really pointed me in that direction. And that was all part of when my husband and I had that conversation like you need something, and I was able to get some good resources from that for what was available in my area, and now you get to you know, pass along what others need as well, which is so good.

Speaker 1: 38:19

Yeah, yeah. Well, I just love your story and what is? There's so much more coming for you. What is something that you feel like God is really stretching you in, maybe this year, whether it's you know, doodles doing good, or you know just something that you are being stretched in. You know just something that you are being stretched in that is kind of beyond what you could like imagine. Um kind of looks a little bit impossible maybe. Um, like I said, I feel like your, your business I would say it's a ministry too is is going to reach so many more than you can imagine. But yeah, I just thought I'd ask that question.

Speaker 2: 39:11

Yeah, I mean, I definitely have that hope for the doodles. But right now, what I'm personally struggling with in my walk is listening when God says I have this, I have this handled and figured out. My heart still hurts so much to be a biological mom and to really know what that is, what that feels like, and so I just I have to sit in my disbelief sometimes and say, kelly, this is the God who moves mountains and plans that are so much better than my own, um, and to just really grow in in my trust. That that's. It might not look like what I think it's going to look like, but I do know that there are plans to prosper me and, um, our family, and see what's ahead for us.

Speaker 1: 40:02

So do you have a verse that you've really been clinging to in this season?

Speaker 2: 40:11

I do, I have it written down and I meant to grab it. I'll be right back.

Speaker 1: 40:37

I'm really bad at the memorization part, but, um, hey, it's not easy. I can remember some words and then the address is really challenging to remember. Sometimes I remember my address and I'm like like hope, okay, it's in there somewhere. It's good we're all learning.

Speaker 2: 40:51

So one of the verses that I have prayed over and I've shared with quite a few other moms along the way is from Isaiah, chapter 66, verse nine I'll not cause pain without allowing something new to be born. And I mean for me. That's not even about the physical birth, but just really trusting God's plan. Like I said, I believe that whatever he has for me is better than I can plan for myself. Sometimes it's just a struggle with but what if? And I know that's not from God. So I do try to keep this verse in a lot of places throughout my house that I can see it. So it's hanging up on a couple of different bulletin boards and just it's around to remind me.

Speaker 1: 41:50

Isaiah 66, nine Yep. I don't think I've read that one for a long time and I mean, even as you were talking earlier you were just reminding me of, you know, jeremiah 29, 11, you know, I have a future hope, right, exactly Yep, which, which we all do.

Speaker 1: 42:11

And I think I think one of the most challenging parts of this walk is just, you know, sometimes I think I know what's better, right. Well, this, this could be really good, lord, like, why is it happening this way? It can be really challenging to you know, we're human, that's, he understands our anguish and our anger, like I've I've been so angry at God so many times and like fist up, like don't you know better, like and doubting and you know, and just kind of like what is going on, and to really just have that trust and to believe that he has his, you know, his heart, he's over us, he knows, and, like you said, he knows. And like you said that kind of that, what if? It definitely isn't helpful, but it is a question that we ask and I ask often as well.

Speaker 1: 43:14

So I just am so thankful for your heart to you know, go through your process, because it is a process of healing, but not only that. To come alongside others in their process while you're still healing, that is a gift to so many. Not everybody is able to do that. So I want to thank you for that. Yeah, I think you went muted, uh, oh, let me unmute you found it okay, sorry but yeah, definitely it was not somewhere.

Speaker 2: 44:02

I had planned to be this voice for others, but I'm thankful that God has given me. I'm equipped, you know, like I love people and I love to love on people. And here I am. Like I said when we were talking earlier, I just asked God to help me find something to make all of that pain I went through kind of worth it. And so if that means he needs me to talk loudly and speak out to people and post about it and just whatever it is to make people not feel alone through their grief is I'm willing to do that.

Speaker 1: 44:45

So thank you for all you're doing. You are a. I like to say on the podcast, really to anybody who comes on here, that I've been connected with your brave voice, who's setting others free. So, um, as we were talking earlier, I do this for the one and as you've been, you know, talking. Is there anything else that you would want to say to this one woman who's listening to you today? There might be a man, we don't know. Typically it's women. Is there anything that you would want to just share with her as we close here, and would you be open to praying over her today?

Speaker 2: 45:30

open to praying over her today. I would love to do that. Yeah, I just I want her to know that she's not alone and, whether it's in her physical community, there is definitely a community of voices and resources and love out there to really help support her and validate her feelings through whatever her loss may be. Our Heavenly Father, we thank you for this opportunity to meet together and to share our voices online and, god, we pray that you can meet any woman or any man where they are in their pain and their grief and let them know that you will bring them through it and that what you will do is so much greater than what they can imagine.

Speaker 2: 46:24

We thank you for your heart of healing and we know that you know the pain it is to lose your child and to have to go through the unbearable of that, but we thank you for your redemption through Jesus that we can celebrate life after we just pray that you know that, for that the others around may know that, whether it be through a testament of their friends or just the nudging of the Holy Spirit that you're sending them, we thank you for the opportunity to meet together and to to talk about these real issues and these real things that are happening in our world, and we thank you for that opportunity in Jesus name.

Speaker 1: 47:15

Thank you, kelly. You are a dear one. Oh my gosh, I'm so thankful for your cousin.

Speaker 2: 47:22

Yeah, she's great.

Speaker 1: 47:25

I am going to close with the anchoring verse for Hope, unlocked it's may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace and believing so that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope. And that's Romans 15, 13. So I will have all of Kelly's contact information in the show notes. Please reach out to her if you are led to, and I will be back with another episode next week. Thank you, kelly, for being on today.

Speaker 2: 47:51

Thank you.