Unlocking Freedom: Bridget Goodwin's Journey from Church Hurt to Healing and Advocacy

In this deeply moving episode of Hope Unlocked, host Kristin Kurtz welcomes ministry founder and advocate Bridget Goodwin to share her powerful story of healing, redemption, and forgiveness. Bridget opens up about her journey from surviving clergy abuse and decades of silence to becoming a voice for others who have experienced trauma, church hurt, and abuse. She recounts her process of breaking free from shame, finding her voice through counseling, and stepping into her calling as an advocate and founder of the ministry I Have a Voice.

Through her testimony, Bridget emphasizes the transformative power of sharing one’s story in a safe and loving environment and highlights the importance of forgiveness in the healing process. Her ministry provides tools, resources, and community for survivors, helping them reclaim their voices and step into wholeness. This episode is a profound reminder that God’s redemption can turn ashes into beauty, and there is hope and freedom for those willing to take the brave steps toward healing. Tune in for a story of resilience and redemption, and the liberating power of sharing our testimonies.

Bridget's Contact info:
Website - Ihaveavoice.love
Email - Bridget@hlionline.org

Resources Mentioned:
Bridget's Book -  
https://www.netgrace.org/

Chapters

• 0:16 Journey of Healing and Hope
• 10:53 Healing Through Sharing Testimony
• 22:44 Journey to Forgiveness and Healing
• 33:57 Forgiveness, Healing, and Transformation Conference
• 47:32 Empowering Voices of Healing
• 54:18 Healing Through Sharing Testimonies
• 1:06:21 Anchoring Hope and Healing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm your host, kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching. I help and empower wildhearted and adventurous women of faith feeling caged and stuck, unlock their true purpose and potential, break free from limitations and thrive with confidence, courage and hope. If you're curious to learn more about coaching with me, head to newwingscoachingnet and be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together. Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me. Welcome my new friend, bridget Goodwin, to the show. We recently connected through social media. I know some people don't love social media, but I have found it to be a wonderful place to meet, as I just said to her kindred spirits. So I would love for you to share a little bit more about you and we'll get into your testimony and your story.

Speaker 2: 1:16

All right, thank you. I appreciate the warm welcome. It's Bridget Goodwin and I lived in the UK for 10 years, from 2006 to 2016. And after moving back to the US, we were pastors in England and that's where I really discovered God really discovered God, but fast forward to.

Speaker 2: 1:45

After moving back to the US in 2017, I began my journey of healing from sexual abuse. That happened in my youth and a secret that I had kept for 40 years was finally healed, as I found my voice through counseling and therapy my voice through counseling and therapy. So now I'm an advocate for sexual trauma victims and even for those experiencing church hurt. My experience of sexual abuse happened in a sacred place. It happened at church. It was clergy abuse. It was actually my pastor. It was actually my pastor and I was 13 years old and I was raped in his church office. He was in his 50s and as I began my journey of healing, I realized that I was in a cult and brainwashing reprogramming was all part of the sexual abuse. So now I'm helping people escape and expose the darkness so they can be set free, and so I'm an advocate for church hurt as well. And also I want to say that it's okay if you have to take a break and it's okay for you to seek counseling.

Speaker 2: 3:26

I am now very happy in a church. The pastor supports my ministry. My ministry is I have a Voice and he actually hosted my conference this past November 15th and 16th, this past November 15th and 16th, and it was so refreshing to me to have someone that literally cared for my soul, prayed for me and wanted my ministry to grow to reach others. And what I'm trying to say is that if you have to take a break to find the right church, it's okay. It's not mine again and I'm actually the minister of music there and I feel it's a beautiful missionary field of worship with God's people. So that's a little bit of the beginning of my journey of healing. So my ministry I have a voice. It hosts meetings twice a year and the last two I've had men come Wow, and to me yeah, to me.

Speaker 2: 4:45

I feel that men need help too, not just women. I've watched women be transformed right in front of me and, um, it's so. It's so joyful for me. It's so. It's so joyful for me because I can see their face, that happening, and they're able to step out in bravery, they're able to admit because I think that's the thing is when, when you've been abused, you learn to hide and learn to cover things up because of the embarrassment, the shame, whatever it is, and using your voice, even if it's just a whisper, it starts unlocking, like you were saying, it starts unlocking and they're able to step out and their healing can start. I know Mary DeMuth has this quote that an untold story never heals, and I believe isn't that powerful and and I and God doesn't like things hidden I mean, when you think about his glory, it's full of light, isn't it?

Speaker 2: 6:04

There's no darkness in God, none. And and I think you know, the truth shall set you free. And John 8, 32 says and what is truth? It's Jesus. And I believe when you discover Jesus, you discover life, you discover truth, you discover life, you discover truth, hope, and that's what he's giving us. The enemy is darkness, despair, fear, anxiety, and Jesus wants to take us from that dark place and walk with him, and he's there. I just know he's there. Those that are listening. This is a message of hope, my testimony. I always tell people I am not saying what I'm saying because of revenge or retribution. Mine is a voice of hope and redemption. Because I've experienced this. I believe God has given us tools that help us in our healing. Part of my healing was going to a Christian psychiatrist. Now, this may not be for everyone, but this is my healing. I went to a Christian psychiatrist is my healing. You know I went to a Christian psychiatrist now because I was raised in a cult. You never go outside of your group for counsel.

Speaker 1: 7:52

Sure.

Speaker 2: 7:53

Yeah, I was going to ask about that. Yes, so me even stepping out of that mold that formed around my life and around my secret. God was delivering me in that and I was like I'm never saying this to a man. So I tried finding a woman Christian psychiatrist. I couldn't find one that would fit the need that I had and actually my husband, Jonathan, who's been a rock for me. He actually started therapy before me, you know, because it's been a strain on our marriage, but God is helping us both heal together and my boys are like Dad you really need counseling. So he went to counseling first and I'm going to call him Dr B. When Dr B was counseling and guiding my husband, he said you know, your wife really needs to see someone. He said I'd be willing to see her and he specializes in PTSD for soldiers.

Speaker 2: 9:08

And when God put us together and as I was sharing with him through talk therapy, I realized it's like I wrote this in my book. I'm telling him what happened to me and this is the first time to tell someone, like a stranger, my story. How old were you then? This was in 2021 that I went to counseling. Yes, For the first time. For the first time After 40 years of silence.

Speaker 1: 9:41

Did your husband know?

Speaker 2: 9:43

Yes, yes, my husband knew yes he was the only one who knew my husband knew and, um, my boys, I told my boys and I cried so much. But it was like I opened that box, I opened my cage, I stepped out of the darkness and everything started flooding in things because my body had taken score, just like that book.

Speaker 1: 10:27

Yes, your body takes.

Speaker 2: 10:28

Yeah, I was sick, I I, I have stomach problems and now I'm triggered. Everything's triggering me because my I spoke. You know, I started, I started loosing you knowosing all of that corruption. This happened while we were living in England. I carried on being a pastor's wife and met with the women Deep inside. I need help. You know, I'm in the Lord and prayer and praying and my husband's carrying me and everything's triggering me. Movie smells music, you know. It's like like I said, I opened up that cage because I used my voice. I told my husband and I told him everything you know. I told my husband and I told him everything you know.

Speaker 2: 11:25

And so fast forward, you know, we're, we're back in the U S and my boys are like dad, you need therapy. And so then I, then I go to therapy and Dr B, when I told him what was going on in my life, he grabbed his head and like oh, and then I'm realizing, oh, my goodness, this is really bad, because when you cover up something for so long, it seems to take away the sting and the depth of the depravity that you were experiencing. He said, bridget. He said you're going to have to share your story. He said you think you're a missionary, because I'm a missionary too. And he said he said the women need to hear this. They're your mission field, bridget. You need to share your testimony to them. And I there's no way I can share my testimony, because if I share my testimony, cause it's my husband's uncle and so if I share my testimony, it's my husband's uncle, it's my husband's family. That church is still there and it's like. He said, bridget, you must share your story. And I argued with him and argued with him and I started therapy in 2021, in February.

Speaker 2: 12:54

By June, I was standing in a church sanctuary. My husband walked up. I had a really good friend. He said, bridget, he said I want you to share your testimony. I said, okay, I was in a safe place. This church just gathered me up with their love. My husband walked up and sat next to me and I told the people for the first time what happened to me. And my friend said Bridget, you even look different that, since you shared your story, it was like I.

Speaker 2: 13:36

How can I explain? It, it was like I was saved all over again. It I was just transformed, I was liberated. It was like I'm flying and it was so beautiful.

Speaker 1: 13:51

Can I go back? I really want somebody who's listening to catch that. It's like a major key. What transformed you?

Speaker 2: 14:12

you. What transformed me was is that I shared openly, in a safe place, with the strength of my husband sitting next to me, my testimony and how I had been redeemed and how Jesus came through for me and gave me hope that I may never understand all the details of why it happened to me. I have to dwell on the fact now that he's taking something ugly the ashes and he's making it something beautiful from it, just like you were saying about Isaiah 61, that he takes the ashes and gives you beauty, the crown of righteousness, oil for mourning, and he becomes the story through that yes he is my champion, he's my deliverer and I think that's what transformed me is that secret no longer had a hold on me and I was speaking.

Speaker 2: 15:22

I was speaking, I was tearing down those lies. You know, because when you think of what the abuser, you know, it's almost like a playlist. You know, you feel discarded, you feel ugly, you feel like you have no purpose, you're silenced, you feel rejection and then to realize that you have to replace the no purpose that no, god has purpose for me. He has great plans for me. Yes.

Speaker 1: 15:57

I like to call it flipping the script.

Speaker 2: 15:59

Yes, that's right, because he's not finished with me, because there's so much more to my story. Yes, I'm not going to get perked up right there because he's not finished with me, because there's so much more to my story. Yes, you know, they're perked up right there because it's yes, yes, there's so much more. And in and to, to take the lies and put them on trial. And and they seem so insignificant, then don't they, because they're lies and we know who is the father of lies.

Speaker 1: 16:29

Yes, so prior, like can I ask so prior to sharing your testimony, you were maybe more so being flooded with these lies than the after. Is that correct?

Speaker 2: 16:45

Yes, yes, cause I, I still, I still struggle. You know my husband, you know he will tell me you are beautiful, bridget, you are, and I, I guess you you tend to fall back and that's what I was telling you before this interview. You know, god delivered me from the darkness, from the cave and from age and sometimes the enemy. You know, when you have an anxious thought cause I'm still healing when you have an anxious thought and I feel myself to start to shake and and, and I feel like I'm being drawn back into that cave of of like you're not going to make it, or you know this is a struggle, you're still struggling. Why are you still struggling?

Speaker 2: 17:37

And it's like, no, no, I am not going to accept those lies. I'm going to make it because Jesus said he has set me free. I'm going to make it because he said I'm beautiful. I'm going to make it because I have a purpose. I'm going to make it because I have a voice and that pushes the enemy back. And I know, one night before I'd shared my story, I'm a musician and I woke up because a lot of times it's in the nighttime you know, dreams and you wake up and you know that three o'clock, four o'clock in the morning, awake, and I remember I was.

Speaker 2: 18:20

This was when I was really feeling like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. And I woke up and I was singing a song and I realized, as I was singing it, that the Lord was giving me a lullaby so I could go back to sleep. And it was Jesus is my chain breaker, he's my peace giver, he's my deliverer, he's my peace giver, he's my deliverer, he's my all in all. And I sang that song until I fell back to sleep. And then the next morning, when I woke up, I realized the Lord had given me that song, like the day before, and that night he was giving it back to me. You're reminding me, and it was a lullaby, just like Zephaniah 319. He will sing over you with joy and I knew that he's going to comfort me in my darkest moments. He's going to be there.

Speaker 2: 19:21

And and what I'm trying to say is that I'm still healing and there'll be times those of you that are listening that as you start your journey of healing, a therapist told me one time she was a keynote speaker at one of my conferences and she said, when you're healing, you'll take a step forward and sometimes you take two steps backwards. It's okay, you're still moving, you're still healing and and I find that my prayer life if I find myself wobbling, I know I need to go to prayer, I need to have a moment in dedication of music and just I journal. I'm a big believer in journaling and I write down my prayers, my thoughts, because then when I'm struggling, I can go back as a reference and I'll read those words and they comfort me because I can see the journey. And I also started writing poetry.

Speaker 2: 20:25

So the first day I had my first therapist or my psychiatrist. I did a poem.

Speaker 1: 20:33

And so it just came to you like to do that.

Speaker 2: 20:37

Oh, yes, yeah, it just it. You know I've I've written before, but this time it it was, it was a mission in that it was giving me a voice on paper, you know, because I wasn't ready to share my voice audibly. So on paper I can write down all my feelings. So now, when I look back at my poems, I can see the anger, I can see the frustration, I can see the gloom and then I see light, Then I see hope, I see redemption and then I see, you know, the struggle, struggle, and then I see God bring me back up, and it's, it's. It's really been amazing for me because it's, it's, it's been a travel log of my healing journey. But so when I told Dr Bacon that I was going to share my story, he was like he was so proud of me. He was so proud of me because he was right. He was right.

Speaker 2: 21:32

But the other thing is is that when I had shared my story, I shared publicly that I had not forgiven my abuser, not forgiven my abuser, and and that was hard. That was hard because now I realized what I was going through, I realized the depravity, I realized all the years of sexual abuse and and the brainwashing, and it it was like okay, I am a child of God, and what is the message of Jesus? Love thy neighbor as yourself. Okay, how many times am I supposed to forgive? Exactly, and I knew this and I knew, I knew, and I also, every year, I feel like the Lord, I pray and I feel like the Lord gives me a word for the year and the year that I shared my testimony. My word that year was more m-o-r-e. More. I had no idea I would be sharing my testimony. I had no idea I'd be going to a Christian psychiatrist. Then the next year, my word was um fortitude. And I'm thinking, lord, what is the meaning of fortitude? And I'm thinking, lord, what is the meaning?

Speaker 2: 23:05

of fortitude, and I literally had to go look it up. And then the second word, formidable. And then forgiveness. And I'll work together.

Speaker 2: 23:19

But that year I didn't receive forgiveness. I didn't, I didn't receive forgiveness, and but I knew it was on the horizon, I knew God was, was helping me and of course, you know people have all kinds of opinion. Bless their hearts. You know of. You need to forgive. Because you don't forgive, you know you're not setting yourself free. And and I knew, you know I've been serving God since I was five years old and it's like I know I need to forgive, right, so, um, this year my word was shalom. You dig into shalom. It means every broken piece healed. It means restoration, restoration, everything is put back together and of course, it's peace, which is, you know, peace, peace as well.

Speaker 2: 24:11

And so I went to a women's conference in February. That's why I think women need to go to conferences, because you need to be poured into and especially it's it's very, um, delightful when you hear god speaking to these women who don't even know you, and they're feeding you and they're saying key words that god's been telling you for months. Right, right, right, you know lines of thought. And because that's how the holy spirit. The holy spirit's a connector. Know, like the Holy Spirit connects us together and because when you're connected, we're glory bearers, aren't we? You know our little light, with your little light, it lights up the world.

Speaker 2: 24:58

You know, and I just saw this beautiful woman was talking and she's saying I don't know why I'm doing this. She said, but I think I need to share my testimony. She said I don't know why. So she started sharing about her abuse and how it was her brothers and the farmhands, and so she's sharing and how she, the lord, helped her with forgiveness. And and the more she talked, the more I knew god was knocking on my door and it was like, and she was, she just kept sharing and she had a moment of prayer. And you know how you get that ugly cry that comes from your feet, you know, and it just like comes in. And you know it just like that ugly cry that comes from your feet, you know, and it just like comes in and you know, just like comes all the way and it comes out of your mouth and you and you can't.

Speaker 2: 25:50

I feel it. That's what was happening to me. And and so this beautiful, another beautiful woman walked up to me and I shared just a little bit and she said she said, have you forgiven him? I said no. She said can I walk you through the steps of forgiveness? I said sure, and I hadn't mentioned this man's name because I refused to. She said what's his name and she said let's say I forgive. And then I said his name.

Speaker 2: 26:26

She helped me and prayed with me and I realized that I need to say this every day and I thought wow, I've got homework. I've got homework. I must do this. Well, the woman that shared her testimony came up and prayed with me and she said Bridget, she said your voice is muffled. And immediately I'm a trumpeter.

Speaker 2: 26:54

Immediately I saw a trumpet with a mute in it and she said she said your voice is muted. And here I have a ministry called. I have a voice. And she says your voice is muted, you need to forgive. And I felt like the Lord was telling me you can speak, you can speak for me, but you know what a trumpet sounds like with a mute. You know, you know you're not. It's not clear.

Speaker 2: 27:24

Yeah, and so I, and that that spoke to me, and so she, she prayed with me and was very, um, like a mother in the Lord, like a Naomi I call her Naomi to me because she's like a mother in the Lord and so that whole weekend, you know, I'm I'm thinking about this word forgive, forgive, forgive, and you need to do it. You need to do it now, you need to do it quickly, it's not, you don't play around with this, you need to do this. So the next day, um, the conference was over and I was going to go to church actually to Amy's church and, um, it was actually at Amy Rylander's conference and I was going to go to her church. And so I got this hotel I was staying in was absolutely dreadful, it was, it was a terrible place. Okay, so I'm getting ready for church and I go to step into the shower and I remembered oh no, I haven't said I have forgiven so-and-so.

Speaker 1: 28:32

And.

Speaker 2: 28:34

I thought, no, lord, not while I'm naked. And it was like no, bridget, you're giving place to this you got, you must obey. You must obey quickly. I stepped in the shower. I said, okay, I forgive so-and-so, and I looked up at the shower head and I turned it on and I realized God was baptizing me. I started washing my body and I started praying and washing away every contaminated part of my body that was soiled and I'm crying my tears mixing with the water and I'm praying and I'm just, I'm just worshiping and and, and I knew God was baptizing me and cleansing me. And then I heard him say your hair. I had my hair clipped up and I'm like Lord, really, I just washed my hair the other day and it takes a long time, you know. It was like your hair.

Speaker 2: 29:36

I unclipped my hair and you know your hair is your covering your glory. So I unclipped my hair and you know your hair is your covering your glory. And I realized Jesus wanted to be my glory again. He wanted to be my covering. So I washed my hair and now I'm praying of the blood of Jesus Christ just to cover every part of me. And you know what I forgave.

Speaker 2: 30:01

It happened, it was real, and I realized that I was baptized. I was cleansed in this terrible, dirty, broken down hotel. That life doesn't have to be perfect for you to experience redemption. You don't have to wait. Oh well, I'll do it tomorrow. No, it's today. Today's the day of salvation. Today is the day to forgive. Today is the day to share your voice. Today is to claim the mighty name of Jesus. Today's the day we cannot put off. And I was able. I told my friend, we flew home together and I said if I see him on the other side? I said it's okay, it's between him and God. And I knew that this was divine. It wasn't me, it was. And again I felt like I was saved all over again Because this was real.

Speaker 2: 31:11

And so now, once you open your heart to forgiveness. Then the Lord starts bringing people in your path. Well, you need to forgive this, you need to forgive that, you know. You need to forgive the people that didn't protect you. You need to forgive those that knew that didn't say anything, and I had already forgiven my mom and dad, and and I, I.

Speaker 2: 31:40

Once God starts working in your life, he does all things well, doesn't he? He does all things well because, in the end, in the end, we are his workmanship. We reflect Jesus to. Love is divine. You know Psalm or 1 Corinthians 13?

Speaker 2: 32:05

I rewrote that from a sexual abuse survivor's eyes, and that's why my website is. I have a voicelove, because I want to share the love of Jesus, because this isn't me, because, bridget, you know, when you think about us in the human, you know not this, you know not the transformation, but you know the human part. You, you know you want to hold on to the, the grudge. You, you want um, you want things to happen to to soothe your heart, but no, you know to be able to forgive and and to say it and know that it's real and and it's like so, so, sharing. My testimony is I realize some people may not be able to forgive today. But I cannot stress enough that your journey of forgiveness is your journey, but you must walk through those steps of forgiveness. It may not happen today, it may not happen tomorrow. That's between you and God. But I strongly recommend going to your prayer closet and having a talk with Jesus, and you know he will guide you. He will give you moments that you're like, oh, you can't make this stuff up.

Speaker 1: 33:41

That's what I like to say too. Can't make this stuff up, you can't.

Speaker 2: 33:45

you can't Because I know what he can do, because he's done it for me.

Speaker 1: 33:52

Yes, amen. I wanted to ask you. You know, part of my journey is growing up in some abuse as well, and I was saved from addiction when I was 25. And I remember I don't know, it must have been at a church service or something that they talked about forgiveness, like forgiveness to be forgiven, and I had so much I needed to be forgiven of. So I immediately knew that there were specific, so much I needed to be forgiven of. So I immediately knew that there were specific people that I needed to forgive and I just thought I would maybe see what this has looked like for you. And I feel like maybe somebody might be asking this question because it's coming up for me, but I did immediately. I brought another family member with me to go forgive some people. There's been a lot of guilt that was kind of continued to come up on their side and every time I would leave I would just say you know, we're not bringing this up anymore. The door is closed on that, like I have forgiven you.

Speaker 2: 34:56

Right.

Speaker 1: 34:57

I was kind of curious and in this space of forgiveness there have been things that have come up that maybe weren't ready to come to the surface, that I wasn't even aware that I needed to forgive. Like it was, it was kind of that day was like a blanket forgiveness Right, but then there's stuff that's come up over the years that I have had to go back and like that specific thing I had to forgive and then basically bless yes, yes, you know you to, to take that, what you know what would looked really bad.

Speaker 1: 35:37

Right, I turn it for. What does that look like for you? And I hope that this makes sense what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 35:44

You're making a lot of sense, I think. Sometimes, to be specific on what you forgive now, uh, my abuser died and that's the day my abuse stopped was when he died. Now, someone else in my life, um, just molested me. He he didn't rate me and he was alive, and so my husband and I went to him and I told him, and I told him that I forgave him. Now he told me he didn't remember and I had to accept that because I could judge and say well, you're just having an out, you know, you're you know, by saying that you don't remember and it was. And I told him. I said, well, this is what happened, this is what happened, and but yet I felt that I needed closure on that. And I think, when issues come up later on, like what you're saying, this man is now dead too, but I was able to speak to him before he died with my husband, and for me it was closure and I needed that because I needed to confront him.

Speaker 2: 37:16

Now, far as other people who have come up to me and said that they were sorry, you know, for not protecting me, and because that's specific, and I feel like, even though, like you're saying, when you forgive something and you shut the door, I think sometimes God will open a little window and say this needs to be dealt with. I think it's easy just to say I forgive and be done with it. But I think when the window opens up and someone will come up and say Bridget, you know, I knew about this, I'm sorry, I didn't protect you. That's a heavy burden for them to bear and I didn't protect you. You know that's a heavy burden for them to bear and I feel like I forgive you. It's okay, it's all right. You know, and and I think when that comes up, that I need to speedily forgive them for that, because so and like this one woman told me. She said we were handicapped. You know, because of the.

Speaker 2: 38:23

You know, when you're following a cult leader there, there are so many facets of their personality. They have an island mentality. I did a lot of research when I did my book. They believe they're the only one and you only listen to them and nobody else's word has um um hold with you but their word. And so you, and then scriptures are twisted. You know, touch not my anointed, anointed, no, do my prophets no harm. You know, and you're raised with this. Well, if I say something. God's going to judge me. But but so everybody, those that could, they were silenced Again. Their voice was silenced because of fear.

Speaker 2: 39:13

And so for them to tell me that I feel like that burden. There's no need for them to carry that burden. That wasn't their fault. You know it. To me, you know, I read, I read this book, which was amazing. And this, this man, was saying God, why did you allow this to happen, why did you allow this abuse to happen? And God said how come my people did not step forward and stop it?

Speaker 2: 39:44

So we as Christians, we as God's children, whether we're in ministry or whether we're on a platform like this, which is helping God's people or helping those that need to discover God, we need to say never on our watch. We need to be yes, yeah, we need to be responsible. You know, and that's why I'm an advocate, it's not on my watch, you know, this isn't going to happen again and I, you know, I just feel like God has given us a responsibility to protect and to nurture and to preserve, and I'm a big advocate that churches need to have safety measures put in place. The nursery worker needs to have a criminal background check. I don't care. I don't care what their age is, whether they're young or old.

Speaker 2: 40:47

You are dealing with people every day. They need to be safe and I just I feel that strongly, and graceorg is a wonderful I think it's called netgraceorg is a wonderful organization that protects people, the church goer, and they're the ones that put help, put things in place. They're a third party investigator, they help the victim and we all know that we can turn into victors, but we have to have the right people to help us, and and so I I'm, I'm just I'm very firm about that, and I also feel that if someone doesn't want that check, they do need to be on your staff Exactly.

Speaker 2: 41:39

I know that sounds cruel, but I cannot emphasize that enough, because we all need to protect our men and women, our boys and girls and our children, our men and women, our boys and girls and our children, Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 41:59

Did you say it was netgraceorg. It's a wonderful organization. I've actually talked with them myself and there's different people on the panel. There's different people on the panel. I highly recommend to follow them on social media and they have support groups that can come into your church and educate you on how to put safety measures in place. If you feel like abuse is happening, they will give you counsel and if the church will allow a third party to come in and investigate. So it's it's very reputable. I think they just celebrated their 20th year anniversary I've never heard of this before.

Speaker 1: 42:44

Um, I'll be sure to add this to the show notes so those want to go check it out.

Speaker 2: 42:50

It is it is ran by, uh, the late billy graham's nephew, I believe, is the lawyer. I believe he's a lawyer. I can't remember his name right now, but yes, I highly recommend them.

Speaker 1: 43:03

If someone needs help and counseling legally, yes, well, I want to be sure that we touch on on your ministry. Um, I have a voice, yes. How have you been? Um in operation and what? What was that prompting to get started? Because, as you know and as I know, having a ministry and a business is is not always sunshine and rainbows right. So what did that look like for you? What was that prompting?

Speaker 2: 43:38

Well, the prompting was number one by my psychiatrist. He said, bridget, you need to speak to women and I felt that if I could offer a haven of safety for women to come together and for me to share my testimony and invite keynote speakers to come in to give us tools, because I feel like a conference. You go there to be empowered, right. You go there to hear thoughts, to experience other people who are going through what you're going through to, where you do not feel alone. And I felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to do this.

Speaker 2: 44:20

And I just celebrated my fifth conference two weeks ago, in November 15th and 16th, and I'm very thankful that God is connecting me with other people. We have had therapists come and my first I had someone from England come who is a licensed therapist and she shared with us what happens to the body and what you can do, what it means to flip your lid and how that you can put your brain back into the safety and how you can do these different things your breathing and your vagus nerve, I think. Am I saying that right?

Speaker 2: 45:06

your, your vagus um yes you know what I'm talking about and and how to do these exercises calming exercises, music exercise and she gave us wonderful tools. She also talked about the divine exchange of is 61. So these conferences is a place for women to come and worship, to maybe talk to someone privately for the first time, to be prayed for and to go away with materials, because you can go to a conference and you know what it's like. You're like, wow, I can do this, hallelujah. And then you go home and you're like, oh no, what am I going to do? Well, you get out those tools and you start putting those into place, because I believe we have to be active and I believe that you're working through your issues and I'm there. I also give them my email. I said I'm here if you need to talk to me to pray with you. I always offer them that solace and I stay in contact with them through emails.

Speaker 2: 46:27

So each, each conference, I have a different theme and we work around that theme, and this last conference was the theme was you are who he says. You are not who your sexual abuser says. So we investigated the lies told to us by abusers. We identified the person Jesus meant us to be and the inheriting of God's love as his daughters and sons. So we come out of that conference knowing we're chosen, we're royal and we're holy. We are children of the most high God, we are his daughters, we are his sons. We take those lies and so what? We did one of the exercises. We took time to write all the lies that we personally feel. Then we declared the truths and then we said I am a child of God, I am his workmanship, whatever that exercise was for that person. So I just feel like having these tools because I'm still healing myself. Just because I've spoken my testimony and God has granted me the gift of forgiveness. I am still every day going through what I need to go through for my total healing and it's it's like my good days outweigh the bad ones. Now, before it was my bad days outweighed the good ones.

Speaker 2: 48:01

But I also feel like every conference I'm connecting with more people and, just as you said, it's for the one, and I see that happening because we sponsor people as well and we sponsor we usually sponsor one or two people a conference. That way, all they have to do is come, they just come and they can be poured into, they can be blessed, they can be fed physically and spiritually and they're surrounded by other women who are there to love on them and to comfort them. Because, as you know, when you've been abused, you don't feel safe and when something happens, the first thing you do you think I need to go somewhere where I'm safe. And I never realized this about myself, but I always hated being lost and in England I got lost a lot when I lived in England and now I realize it's because of my trauma that don't like feeling unsafe, and so I feel like these conferences is a place for women to feel safe, and so I feel like these conferences is a place for women to feel safe, and I have.

Speaker 2: 49:17

When I do these conferences, I surround myself with prayer warriors because I know that this is a battle I'm going into, absolutely. You know, like you were saying, when, when you, when you declare truth, oh the, the enemy's gonna be right there and gonna be right there. And I I shared with some prayer warriors and she said that she felt like god and I was looking for what she actually told me because it was so beautiful. She said that someone is going to find their voice and it's going to be a voice that they were not told. Let's see if I can read it to her. She said sometimes we need to try out a new voice calling for help. Telling our story etc. Can be difficult.

Speaker 2: 50:09

I felt that, just as God spoke in a still small voice to Elijah, that might be how one of your guests at the conference may find their voice quiet, trying out the words etc. God will hear it. Nonetheless, it may be that a man may find the subject of abuse even harder to speak about than Isn't that amazing? I just thought that was so beautiful because I had shared with them that I felt the burden for men and that's why I made the tagline I have a voice conference.

Speaker 2: 50:51

I didn't say women's conference or women's summit or women's meeting. I just said conference, because men need healing too and yeah. So I just felt that with these, I feel that God has enabled me to have these conferences to give a safe Haven for someone to find a voice. You know that's the purpose, because sexual abuse silences you and an abuser takes your voice away and my mission is to help the women or men get it, get it back, and I feel like that's their deliverance, is speaking you know, and and Jesus's blood is what gives us purpose, hope and forgiveness, and and surrounded by these women, you realize you're not alone, because you will find that all threads of abuse have similarities, don't they?

Speaker 2: 51:47

And we can understand each other. But I'll tell you something else that's even more excited. Exciting. The threads of deliverance are the same too. You know, the, the threads of empowerment from jesus are the same, and when I, when I read different people and I believe it was on one of your um post some of the things you were talking about are some of the things that God's helped me with too. You know we it's the spiritual DNA, isn't it? Yes, absolutely that's so. That's so amazing to me that God is so beautiful and that his body has so many members in it, but that spiritual dna connects us in the spirit and it's enriching because he's true and and and I really believe what he started in us he's going to finish, and that little middle part is where me and you are right now.

Speaker 1: 52:46

We just discovered each other, but there's that kindred spiritual connection and I want other women and men to experience that for sure you know, as you're talking it, it reminds me, um, we have, like, both of us want to help unlock women's voices, and for you as men too, I mean I I inadvertently with men, but my focus is women personally, and what I shared with you, know, a lot of my clients or what have you, and just anybody that will hear me is that somebody is waiting for your sound, like your specific sound is going to be what unlocks their voice, and if you don't release your sound right, that's beautiful, that's right there's a delay.

Speaker 2: 53:38

That's right.

Speaker 1: 53:39

The else's freedom, right, and your sound is different than my sound, right, right, you probably have a beautiful singing voice. I don't. I love music, but I don't have a beautiful singing voice, so I'm going to go on American Idol.

Speaker 2: 53:55

I can help you with that. I'm a teacher.

Speaker 1: 53:56

No, Well, that could. That would be a whole miracle girl.

Speaker 2: 54:02

I'm always up for a challenge.

Speaker 1: 54:04

I bet you can do some miracles. But yeah, there's just this and I'll share this with you. I feel like maybe this is going to intertwine with what we're talking about here and what you're sharing. Yesterday I had a huge revelation. I did release a podcast this morning just my own voice I do this Tuesday Thoughts and he was showing me that, especially with women, we have a tendency to compare, so we might even hear our testimonies going well, I don't have a testimony like that. Why do I need to share my testimony? I haven't gone through as horrible things as you have. Like, my testimony doesn't matter, we're just comparing in general. Right, keeping yourself from stepping out because, well, I don't look like her, I don't sound like her, I don't sound like her, I don't, you know, I don't have this degree and I don't. You know, I didn't do this.

Speaker 1: 54:58

And he was showing me yesterday that we can compare. It's c-o-m-e-p-a-i-r. Oh, um, pair, right, like joshua and caleb, they were the two out of the 12 that were willing to keep moving forward. We have people like you that have been sent on mission to come alongside another woman or another man to help them be released and delivered, but it's going to take somebody else often to do that, right. We see here with your story that, um, you were led to a therapist who was a huge, yes, um, catalyst. Yes, to break out right. Yes, that was a pair. Wow, that's amazing, like, and that's why I'm like I am not smart enough to come up with that stuff that it's the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 2: 55:54

I mean, he'll bring up words and then you have to go get the dictionary right.

Speaker 1: 55:57

Yes, absolutely, and I'm often doing that, yes, but I think it's because I feel like somebody potentially could be listening and saying why I just don't have a testimony to share, because you know that comparison can come in. But yeah, there's somebody on the other. You know, I'm just going to use like a telephone line. There's somebody on the other telephone line that's waiting for you to share your story and it's going to hit them where it needs to hit them. Would you agree?

Speaker 2: 56:23

I would totally agree. You know, as you were speaking, I was thinking about the term clarion. You know, clarion is a certain type of instrument. You know, a clarion is a certain type of instrument, like a trumpet, like a herald trumpet. It pierces the air and you hear that clarion call. It's very direct.

Speaker 2: 56:41

But even with herald trumpets, if you hear the three-part harmony voice one, voice three and voice five that trumpet can blow only so many notes, but the trumpet next to them has notes that harmonize. So, with your voice, your trumpet, let's just use a trumpet. You're playing your trumpet, I'm coming right alongside of you and I'm playing the harmony, okay, and then someone else's voice that says you know, well, my voice doesn't matter. Oh, yes, it does. You're playing the fifth and now let's play that. We got this orchestrated sound and it's so beautiful, it's a chord. You know, just like the scripture says, one, two or three, you need three, right, because three are stronger than one. So we need you, I need you, I need that fifth, that fifth tone, I'm the third tone and us together create the symphonic sound. So, yes, every testimony is necessary. I totally agree.

Speaker 1: 57:43

I love how you brought in the music piece of it. See, it's compared. I'm sorry what it's compared. Yes, it's a revelation.

Speaker 2: 57:55

Yes, that's a beautiful revelation. Every voice matters, because that's a trick of the enemy to say, well, no one's going to listen to you. Oh, yes, they will. Someone needs it, someone needs that, that harmonic, somebody needs to hear that voice. Go ahead, do it. And you know, I was also thinking too as you were speaking. You know, with my conferences it's also for those who have not experienced trauma, sexually or church hurt, but they have someone in their family that has experienced.

Speaker 2: 58:29

So I recommend them to come and learn how to walk alongside them, how to hold their hand, how to listen to them and tell them that they believe them and not allow them you know, the trauma victim to be re-victimized. You know, because that's a lot of times people will not come forward and share their story because they're afraid that no one's going to believe them or they're going to be told it's it was your fault. It's never your fault exactly. It's never their fault. So, even if someone that's listening to this podcast, if you haven't experienced this, but you know someone in your life that needs a comforting hand, needs a shoulder for them to talk to, you may be the first person they ever tell and you need to hold that in confidence and direct them to the right people to get help.

Speaker 1: 59:29

And pray with them.

Speaker 2: 59:31

You know, praying with someone does so much in the Holy Spirit that your words of comfort, paired with the Holy Spirit, could be exactly what they need at that moment to not give up.

Speaker 1: 59:47

Thank you. Tell us a little bit about your book. I know you have a book. Is it launching soon?

Speaker 2: 59:56

I pre-launched it at my conference.

Speaker 2: 59:59

And the title of my book is that One Small Voice Lessons and Actions from a Sexual Abuse Survivor, and I share my story. I share what happened and I share my story. I share what happened and I share my journey and also I give tools and lessons in there on how you can overcome this, how you are not a victim but you're a victor, you're a survivor, and I will have it in paperback or hardbound and I'm in the editing right now, but people can go online and order it, pre-order it if they would like, and we will have it ready the week before Christmas and we'll deliver it to your home and I can send you the link for that I'll add that to the show notes.

Speaker 1: 1:00:57

So you guys can I have a feeling that this book is just going to be so instrumental in setting so many free. Um, it can be a very lonely journey you are so right it is.

Speaker 2: 1:01:12

it is a lonely, and that's what I want this message to be that you're not alone.

Speaker 1: 1:01:18

Yes.

Speaker 2: 1:01:19

You're not alone.

Speaker 1: 1:01:21

Thank you for being that voice and for continuing. You know, like she said I want to really bring this to light is that she's still healing light is that she's still healing.

Speaker 2: 1:01:40

Yes, yes, yes, yep, and I'm. You know, I'm still healing and I know that god's going to take me all the way. And, um, even when I was researching and looking at statistics, that rape is the most underrated reported crime 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to the police. Only 12% of child sexually abuse is reported to the authorities. And clergy abuse 4,434 victims have come forward with allegations of abuse of the Catholic clergy alone. And this was done on November 5th 2023. And I'm sure this is just America.

Speaker 2: 1:02:21

But another statistic that I wanted to share with you and see if I can find it that PTSD. You see, I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and complex PTSD involves being abused at a very young age. That new research done in fact shows that survivors of adult clergy sexual abuse suffer rates of trauma traumatization that surpass even war veterans. In a study that's currently being peer peer reviewed for publication, professor david pooler found 39% of adult survivors screen positive for post-traumatic stress disorder. By comparison, slightly less than a quarter of US veterans who've been through a war show signs of PTSD. That is almost half of sexual abuse victims. And when you think of how your body and soul has taken a hit, when you've been abused sexually. It's been a war that your mind and your body has faced. But even though these statistics are so grim, I still know there's hope and there is, and there is a way, a path of healing that Jesus has prepared for you and he's the way, he's the truth, the life, and I'm pointing, I point everyone to him, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:04:11

Well, bridget, yes, amazing. Yeah, well bridget, yes, you're amazing at the end of every podcast interview um as I shared with you before I do this for the one I'm not going to build a platform, um, I would love to to have you, just, um, just get in mind the one that's listening today. Yes, is there anything else you'd like to say over her or him, potentially, and would you be open to praying over this one?

Speaker 2: 1:04:40

I would. I actually have a prayer of restoration that I wrote that I would be glad to share with you Over anyone that can hear my voice. Lord, I come before you broken, shattered and lost. I know you have the power to put me back together. Please take all these shattered pieces and discard the ones that are not like you. My heart is broken and my soul feels lost. Put me back together and hold me close. May I feel the safety of your gentle arms around me. Let my restored soul and heart reflect your glorious light and salvation. You deserve my adoration and my love. I give you my heart and devotion. I trust in you, my Savior. Let the healing begin In your most precious name. Jesus, touch all those that are listening today. May they be restored, amen.

Speaker 1: 1:05:52

Amen.

Speaker 2: 1:05:57

That's so beautiful.

Speaker 1: 1:05:58

Is that in your book as?

Speaker 2: 1:05:59

well, yes, that's in my book. Yes, sometimes, when you need healing, you don't know where to start. And if they would just say this prayer, it gives them a start.

Speaker 1: 1:06:11

I can just sense that somebody is even being healed right now by listening. Yes, thank you, lord, it's about you, that's right. Well, I want to close with the anchoring verse over Hope, unlocked it's. May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope. That's Romans 15, 13. So, bridget, thank you for being a brave voice who's setting so many free. Keep going, and I will be sure to add her book information. I can't say, as I told her before, this is unedited, raw and real. Let's start that over. I love it. In the show notes I'll have her contact information, her book and any other resources that she'd like me to share there for you. So thank you again, listeners. I will be back with another episode next week and again, thank you, bridget.

Speaker 2: 1:07:10

Thank you for having me. Thank you.