Embracing Purpose and Faith: Jeri Purdy’s Inspiring Journey from Career to Calling

In this episode, join Jeri Purdy as she shares her inspiring journey from a career in political science to embracing her true calling with New Hope Girls. Jeri’s story highlights the transformative power of faith as she navigates the challenges of balancing family life—celebrating over two decades of marriage and raising four daughters. Learn how her life’s path was dramatically redirected, leading her to a mission dedicated to supporting women and girls affected by human trafficking.

Jeri opens up about her leadership experiences within the Global Leadership Network and the pivotal moments that prompted her to reevaluate her career and life priorities. She reflects on the profound impact of taking a sabbatical for self-care and spiritual growth, and how this time of stillness reshaped her leadership and approach to life. Through this journey, she discovered the importance of listening to God’s guidance during times of transition.

Tune in to hear about the heart behind Jeri’s work with New Hope Girls, an organization committed to caring for vulnerable women and girls. Jeri emphasizes the power of community and the unexpected joy that comes when we embrace our true calling. She also recounts a life-changing encounter with Joy, the founder of New Hope Girls, which led her to step into a role that aligned with her passion and purpose. This episode is a beautiful testament to the power of faith, purpose, and the extraordinary opportunities that unfold when we trust God’s plan for our lives.

Jeri's contact info:
Website - newhopegirls.com
Book recommendations - 
Beholding and Becoming by Ruth Chou Simons
Emmanuel by Ruth Chou Simons
The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

Chapters

• 0:16 Unlocking Hope With Kristen Kurtz
• 15:07 Navigating Transitions in Ministry With Grace
• 27:16 Reevaluating Priorities and Self-Care
• 30:46 Embracing Stillness and Self-Discovery
• 35:00 Discovering Self-Care and Prioritizing Wellness
• 45:00 Embracing Healing and Self-Discovery
• 52:29 Empowering Women Through Holistic Care
• 58:01 An Unexpected Job Offer With Joy
• 1:03:58 Embracing Stillness Amid Life's Challenges

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm your host, kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching. I help and empower wildhearted and adventurous women of faith feeling caged and stuck, unlock their true purpose and potential, break free from limitations and thrive with confidence, courage and hope. If you're curious to learn more about coaching with me, head to newwingscoachingnet and be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together.

Speaker 1: 0:48

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me. Welcome Jerry Purdy to the show. I am so excited to have her here today. She is actually a friend of a really good friend of mine named Amy Delp. Today. She is actually a friend of a really good friend of mine named Amy Delp and I knew that we needed to meet first of all and, second of all, have her on the show. So, jerry, would you be open to sharing a little bit more about yourself?

Speaker 2: 1:14

Yeah Well, thank you so much for having me on. I'm so excited. I was telling you, as we were getting ready for this, that when Amy tells you you need to meet someone, it is usually a Holy Spirit moment. I have learned to follow those promptings of God through her.

Speaker 1: 1:31

She's a great connector too.

Speaker 2: 1:33

She is an amazing connector. Yeah, I'm so excited to just chat today, share my journey of where I'm at with New Hope Girls, but really you know where God has just placed me in this journey of life for his kingdom and I know we all have these moments that get us to where we are today and I'm ready to dig in and just share some with the listeners today. But a little about me. I am the wife to my high school sweetheart. We have been married for 20 years.

Speaker 2: 2:07

This is our 20th year together. We've been together for 25 years. We have four amazing daughters. Our oldest is 16 and getting her license in just a few weeks, which I am very excited about, and our youngest is about ready to turn 10. So we have a very busy schedule, a very active lifestyle, because they are all three sport athletes they're runners, basketball players and just amazing young women and we just love the honor and privilege to be able to raise them up to be amazing rock stars in this world. We feel like that's our greatest calling, no matter what our job title is. God has entrusted those four lovely ladies to us and we love that. We're an all-girl family. My husband has fully embraced that and actually gets a little grouchy with people when they're like are you going to try for a boy? He's like no, god wanted us to have girls. So we just love being the pretty girl family.

Speaker 1: 3:13

So do you guys have any pets that are not female?

Speaker 2: 3:18

We do. We just got a golden retriever about 18 months ago and we decided to get a boy golden retriever, one because we didn't want to have to deal with puppies, should that happen, and two. You know, they're just a little bit calmer sometimes and the energy is balanced out. A lot of people that have um had pets with all girls have said go for a male dog because their energy is a lot better than a female dog. Like, sometimes it can be just too much. We had a dog before we had our kids for about five years and she just did not love our children at all and we actually had to rehome her. And it was a very hard situation, super hard on my husband because he's the one that had to take her and rehome her. And we just decided if we're going to get a pet, it's going to be one that we know is going to fit in our family forever, Right? So Murphy is our golden retriever and that dude is spoiled.

Speaker 1: 4:20

Golden retrievers are the best. They really are the best.

Speaker 2: 4:24

They are literally the embodiment of, like, my third child. Uh, her name is Lucy and her name means light, and she is just an amazing light. And I'm like Lucy if you could be an animal, you would be a golden retriever. She's so positive and bubbly and just loves everyone. She's so positive and bubbly and just loves everyone. Right, I just love that about him.

Speaker 1: 4:47

Well, I'm glad that your husband does have a little male energy in your, in your house. I'm a family of you know, husband, two boys, and then we have brother and sister dogs who are brethren, you know. So we have one girl in myself and we, we just love each other. Not that I don't love the male dog, but it's good to have some little female energy here too. So, yeah, for sharing about that, um and your family. And I know, prior to us chatting on here, um, you do, you lived near me actually, which is fascinating. Um, it's there's just so many little connection points, like there's always connections with people. Um, so I'd love for you to share a little bit more about you know new hope girls, which is I was like, oh wow, Um, hope unlocks. I know that there's definitely going to be a huge connection there as well, but, um, there was something that brought you to this point. So, share a little bit more about you know, your history and where you've been little bit more about you, know your history and where you've been.

Speaker 2: 5:47

Yeah, so, um, like I said, my husband and I are high school sweethearts. Um, I actually have a degree in political science and thought oh man, maybe we'll move to DC and we'll work in the political realm.

Speaker 2: 5:59

No God, had other plans and I'm so thankful for that. You know I think you go into sometimes going into college and graduating and having a degree a little naive that you know it's just going to be kind of what you see in the movies or on TV and it's not really that. It's much, much different. I was in the state of Indiana working for a political party and after the fourth candidate had complete moral failure and I had raised hundreds of thousands of dollars, I just could not keep going with what I was seeing around me. I knew that if I kept going and my personality I'm an Enneagram 8. So I'm a drive person and I'm also a justice person. If I kept going I was probably going to be a version of myself that I wouldn't want to be or want to be around, and so I made the hard decision to step out of politics, even though that's what I was trained to do, and was working for a local college here in Winona Lake Grace College and Seminary and in their advancement department and really loved it there.

Speaker 2: 7:12

My husband was in orthopedics here in Warsaw, indiana. We're the orthopedic headquarter of the world because we have so many orthopedic companies and his company was acquired and we had the opportunity to move to Minneapolis. He was one of the marketing employees that was retained and they said, hey, if you want to keep your job, you've got to move to Minnesota. And we said, hey, why not? We don't have kids, we're young. This isn't an adventure. And by the time we moved to Minneapolis I was about seven months pregnant with our oldest daughter and we didn't know what was coming as new parents right as most people don't didn't know what was coming with a new expectation and a role that was a global role and we were in Minneapolis and Eden Prairie, so kind of Southwest of Minneapolis, for about two and a half years and it was an amazing time. It was a hard time but I'm so glad that we did it.

Speaker 2: 8:11

We kind of spread our wings as a family. We set up this really great family unit outside of the comfort of having people super close to us and really discovered what was important to us as parents. We had amazing opportunities and education with our infant and toddler and early childhood and family education and really God gave us the skills to be the parents that we are today through those two and a half years in that class. He gave us amazing friends that we're still friends with today, that were all transplants into the city as well. And then we just decided at that two and a half year mark that we really needed to be closer to family. We wanted to continue having kids and with his travel schedule it just was not conducive to the home life I was flying back and forth doing some events in Indiana and Matt's, like you, got to make this either a business, because this is too expensive to be a hobby. So I started my own event planning business when we moved back, had my second child, our second daughter within a year of moving back and was doing great working at home, really managing events, bringing on other employees in the business and loving the flexibility of being a working mom at home and still being able to be home with our kids. My husband then went back to get his master's degree at the University of Notre Dame, which was amazing and incredible.

Speaker 2: 9:49

Another hard moment for our family, but such a beautiful one. It was the hardest 21 months. I was pregnant twice during those 21 months and it was. It was a lot. We had a baby during the program. He was still traveling, still working full time, so we didn't see a lot of him, but it was such a great example for our girls of sacrifice and doing something that's worthwhile and hard and showing them that. And he graduated and I found out I was pregnant the day that he graduated with our fourth child. So that's that second pregnancy that happened during that time.

Speaker 2: 10:31

And then he decided he wanted to go and start his own orthopedic company. And that was a fun adventure too, because it was this moment of okay, we probably should be responsible adults now that we have four children and secure health insurance right and some benefits. And so I made the hard decision to let go of my business and step back in to the corporate sector and work so that I could have health benefits should our family need it. And another amazing opportunity I was interviewing with orthopedic companies and it just didn't feel like the right fit especially with my husband kind of leaving the traditional orthopedics here in Warsaw and starting something that was different and new, just competitor wise. That was going to be hard and I had a friend say hey, I think you should come apply for this position in project management. You are totally overqualified for it with what you've done, but I think that you're really going to love this company and so I said okay, and it was a part-time position and I was very transparent that by a certain date I was going to need benefits and they said we'll work with you.

Speaker 2: 11:47

So I started at Sylvia's insurance group, which at the time was the largest family owned crop insurance agency in the country, and it was it was like I describe it to people like going to work at Google. You know how people say that Google is just the best environment and culture and just healthy work-life balance. That's what it was for me. God gave me an amazing gift with that company and they were just incredible. I I was blown away by believers that actually lived out their faith in the marketplace and daily. I mean we had a chaplain on staff.

Speaker 2: 12:32

You got, you know, paid time off to go on volunteer trips or on mission trips and they encouraged you to do it. You know it's unheard of to get vacation pay. That's over two weeks. When you get an extra week to go on a missions trip and if you take somebody with you that's never been on a missions trip, you get an extra week of PTO for ministry work. That's just that's an incredible benefit.

Speaker 2: 12:58

So I was working there in project management for insurance. And they were right. I was bored. I went to my boss and I said I don't feel right taking my paycheck, I don't feel like I'm doing enough. I really think that you should think about letting me go, because this is not enough to keep me busy. And he was just so kind and he said oh, we have different plans for you. We know that you're bored and we know that you have more capacity and we want you to run our nonprofit division and, specifically, we want you to run this leadership conference. That's called the Global Leadership Summit and it's the first time we're going to host it and, with your background, we think you would do a great job. Yeah, okay, well, I am all for that.

Speaker 2: 13:46

So I transitioned over into that role and held our first leadership conference and we had Amy Delp as our host. If you can even imagine it, it is true, everyone. She hosted for us for about four years and we had 435 that attended the conference, which was amazing for our small community of about 14,000. Years past they'd done a leadership conference and only had around 200. So for us to have over 400 was pretty incredible. The next year we grew again and we had around 535. And then the next year we had exponential growth. We had over 1200 individuals attend our leadership conference, which was a faith-based conference, and it was pretty incredible. It was an amazing ride and it was one I didn't want to end, but it did, because there was some changeover in the family business and my contract wasn't retained with a non-profit arm, and so I was sitting at this professional high in 2019 where I was the consultant for, you know, a really large church in North America.

Speaker 2: 15:07

I was running one of the fastest growing host sites in the United States for the Global Leadership Network. I was a consultant for the Global Leadership Network and we were seeing so many amazing things happen in our community, from people getting behind public schools and having churches partner with public schools and businesses partner with public schools, to having the actual Global Leadership Summit in our public school for two days and having the corporation move the start date of the school so that our teachers could come and be a part of the Global Leadership Summit. We got $100,000 from the Global Leadership Network to provide professional leadership development to our teachers and it was just incredible. And on the day that, craig Groeschel came to Warsaw, indiana, and we had over a thousand people come for an hour talk for Craig Rochelle, coming from Detroit and Indianapolis. I found out my contract wasn't going to be retained and it was one of those moments where you're like, really, god, did you not see all of the things? And this is, this is how the story ends. But it's not how the story ended. It was really amazing.

Speaker 2: 16:32

We had another host site that was there. That is about an hour away from us in Fort Wayne, indiana, and their board came up to me and said, hey, if you ever need a job, I really want you to talk to us because we'd love for you to come and run um the Fort Wayne side of this and I said, well, I just got fired today, so, yeah, that would be a great conversation to have that same day. It was literally baffling. It was, it was mind blowing, um. And I said, well, okay, god, maybe this is what you have planned.

Speaker 2: 17:08

And within two weeks, you know, I had taken the position um, within Fort Wayne um, and was going to be leading the largest host site in North America for the global leadership summit, along with their city movement, um, and it was incredible and it was a great ride there and I was there for three years three and a half years and was able to grow their host site and grow it during COVID, when nobody physically was able to meet, but we all met like this, online and we're viewing and chatting with people. And then the next year, because COVID was still active, we got creative and couldn't have a number of people like over a hundred people in one location. So we had 16 different locations across Northeast Indiana, which opened up this beautiful model in pockets of Northeast Indiana that weren't able to host the summit before but currently are now able to host the summit and growing their sites and seeing amazing change within their community. We were able to open a 24-hour prayer room in the heart of Fort Wayne, which is incredible. We have unity of the church. We have our Catholic brothers and sisters together, we have our evangelical Christians together and they're sharing a space and they're coming in and they're volunteering and they're praying and interceding over certain areas of the city, but you know topical themes throughout the year and it's just a beautiful picture of the body of Christ. Right, it really is that Romans 12 picture of the body of Christ. So that was incredible and you know I I have just really realized that I don't like to let go of things when they're going well and God really has to hit me with some two by fours is what I call.

Speaker 2: 19:13

It is two by four moments to have me let go of things when, when it's time, when he's been giving me the whispers of hey, I'm ready for you to move on, hey, you need to move on. It takes a big moment and Fort Wayne was doing incredible and growing and still are. But they really needed somebody that was living in their city, that was worshiping their kids were going to school in that community and just seeing the community through different eyes. And it was the hardest thing to have that conversation with a few of those board members to say I really feel like God is releasing me, the community through different eyes. And it was the hardest thing to have that conversation with a few of those board members to say I really feel like God is releasing me from this because you need a local person. You need somebody who lives and works and plays and worships here to love your city and to connect with people in a different way than I can. So I went on a nine month transition in that role to help them find the local leader, um, and find somebody that God was calling into the next growth phase for love, fort Wayne. So that was super hard, um. And then I decided to take a sabbatical Um, I had been doing ministry for a number of years and it took a toll.

Speaker 2: 20:27

It took a toll on on my physical health Um, I had let that deteriorate. It took a toll on my emotional health. Just being being a strong female in ministry is really, really hard. I've been yelled at in the grocery store by pastors. I've been told you didn't go to seminary, you should just stay home with your kids, like that's what God's calling you to do. And that's really hard. It's really hard to have those conversations with your children in those moments. It's really hard to have those conversations with your children, um, in those moments it's really hard to have grace in those moments, um. And it's just really hard to reconcile. Sometimes, when you're facing what seems like big hurdles, it's like are they right? Am I not supposed to be in this role? Am I not supposed to be here? Am I not supposed to be using my gifts in this way or my voice in this way? But God has been so kind and so clear to to just show, yes, you are, but, um, maybe you need a little bit more balance and rest in what you're doing so?

Speaker 2: 21:38

uh, yeah, I took an entire year off, which for most people would be like, oh my gosh, that's amazing, but for me that was very, very overwhelming. Um, I jumped into, I've got to get physically healthy. I've got to get emotionally healthy. Um, I've got to get spiritually healthy. Those were my um three goals for my year of sabbatical, and it was, it was a fun year, so I'll pause there. Maybe if you have any questions.

Speaker 1: 22:10

Well, you know, I wanted to kind of capture I like to capture things along the way and I feel like one of the things that I really want to capture is that when you were ushered into these new spaces, you didn't necessarily go knocking on the door or go apply for them. You literally God ushered you in. We want somebody to capture that, because it doesn't. We're not always having to go out and, you know, do all the seeking. It's sometimes it just you step in, and that's a big part of what I see happening to many is you literally take a step of obedience and then the doors just start opening. Would you agree?

Speaker 2: 22:50

I would a hundred percent agree, and I feel like the times that are the most unhealthy for me.

Speaker 2: 22:56

Even within those roles I've, I've come to learn that, like I can knock a door down right, I I have the personality and the motivation and drive to knock a door down right. I have the personality and the motivation and drive to knock a door down. But what God has now given me is the wisdom to say stand at the door and wait, right. So stand there and wait until I open it. And when I open it, I'm paving the way, I'm in front of you, I'm beside you, I'm behind you. When you knock it down, you're going to go as far as you can go, right, so, um, absolutely. And I think sometimes even we forget it in the middle of our careers or in the middle of where we're at in a moment, and we just want what we want, instead of taking that moment to be still and saying God, what do you want? And holding it open-handedly and saying let's, let's do it together, instead of let me do it on my own and then you need to come in and rescue me. Those don't really work so well.

Speaker 1: 23:57

Ask me how I know as well you mentioned like he was starting to really show you. You know, when you're in Fort Wayne, that there would be somebody that would come in to take your place. That would, you know, be a better fit for the community. That is a huge level of surrender that you know some people may not have been willing to loosen the grip on. I'm sure it wasn't easy. But when we step away from something, I know I've been called to step away from leadership positions but he was showing me that I needed to step away to give an opportunity to somebody else to step up.

Speaker 2: 24:33

Yeah, and I think that lots of times, people with our personality that are very go-getters right, you can do it but should you to the extremes are really bad weaknesses for me, and one of those things is overextending myself. So when I started that role in Fort Wayne, one of my amazing mentors said, okay, yep, all right, you need somebody in your life to help you with balance, because you're not going to be able to go like this without burning out, and we need you to not burn out. And so he stepped in and said I'm going to coach you for as long as you need. And he became. He became my career coach, my executive coach.

Speaker 2: 25:31

Still, to this day, we don't meet as often because he feels like I've graduated and have healthy balance, but we still check in once a quarter and have time together.

Speaker 2: 25:42

But he also said you need to get a counselor, you need to get back in counseling, you need to be emotionally healthy, and so one of those things that I learned during that time was am I doing this because God is calling me to do it and the door is open, or am I doing this because this puts me on a platform that I feel like needs to be the next step, or the world deems as the next step. And so, really filtering through that lens of do I stay in Love Fort Wayne because this is a platform that will be beneficial for my career this will be beneficial for me, um, visibility wise or do I allow God to work with the person that he's calling to that space and surrender it? And it was a hard surrender, um, very hard surrender, but I think if I didn't do that, it wouldn't be flourishing like it is today. Right, it would be stagnant and God doesn't want that.

Speaker 1: 26:43

Great, so tell me a little bit more about I know you mentioned the sabbatical for a year. I think many women, as you mentioned, you know, driven women like you I was. It's in my DNA to be like a workhorse, like, and it took back seven years ago he was teaching me how to be still. Um, what did that process look like for you? Because I know for me it was not. It was not easy. I felt like I was dying like for real, which is actually a real thing.

Speaker 1: 27:16

Um, tell us a little bit about that process and what that looked like for you. I'm just imagining that somebody is wondering, like what did that look like for Jerry and how did she go through that year, especially being a career woman? What did that look like for your family, all the things?

Speaker 2: 27:32

Yeah, I want to say I was so fortunate that my husband was like if you want to take a spadicle, take a spadicle. If you want to be done, you can be done. Right, we're? We're to a point after starting the business that we had more stability and the opportunity to do that, and not everybody has the opportunity to step out of work for 30 day period of time, 60 day period so that in and of itself is a gift, and I I realized that that is an amazing gift. Um, but I do think that you can begin to evaluate and step away from things that are not serving you anymore, right? So, um, you can look at it and say, hey, you can call it a sabbatical, you can call it a balance sheet, and start looking at the things that you really need to say no to.

Speaker 2: 28:20

One of the things that I worked through with my career coach during that time was hey, every time you say yes to something and you think it's like the best thing to say yes to, you're also saying no to something else, right? So if you're saying yes to everything, you're saying no to a lot of things too. You just don't see the no's. That was a little trippy to get in your brain of but I'm doing good things, yes, but are you doing the best things and are you looking at them strategically? So somebody that loves strategy and has a strategic mind like me is like, oh yeah, and has a strategic mind like me is like, oh yeah, I can see you where me trying to say yes, because I have that skillset where I'm able to do it Doesn't mean that I should do it. Let's take it through a filter and figure out how I can get to the best. Yes, so that was good work to be done in a refresher work because we were working on that before. But when you have only yourself to focus on, you get there real quick. But I really did feel like I needed to take time to get physically healthy and for me that's so much linked with spiritually and emotionally healthy, and I think as women and as moms, it's super hard sometimes to prioritize ourselves and feel like you put yourself first because you're putting everybody else first.

Speaker 2: 29:45

Inner athlete and and feeling good about myself and not not even really like a scale change or a size change, but just endurance wise, and I call running my therapy. My husband always says to me I don't even know who you are anymore after that year of sabbatical, because I became a runner during that time and I used to be somebody that was like I'm not running unless my children are in danger Um, chasing you. But it became a great tool to just work out the things that were in my brain that wouldn't shut off Right. And so spinning didn't do it, yoga didn't do it, you know, cardio other cardio didn't do it. Running was the only thing that shut the ticker off in my brain and I I just fell in love with it.

Speaker 2: 30:46

And running also crippled me literally that year that I was on sabbatical, I was training for a half marathon and was doing a workout and ended up like in excruciating plane and face down on a trail going. Oh, my goodness, I think I just pulled a muscle. I ended up having a stretch fracture in my pelvis and two different places and literally God made me physically still during my sabbatical too, and I needed that as well. I needed to have literally nothing to drive for and be able to sit and figure out where he wanted me to work Not just work as a career, but where he wanted me to work and what he had gifted in me, um, where I needed to be present with my children, with my husband, um, with myself. And, like I said, I learned. I learned things the hard way. So, yeah, my stress fractures were my two by four moment too. How?

Speaker 2: 31:51

long ago was this that was the end of 23. So I, I I had that horrible pain where I ended up on the trails, you know, base first. Um, I still ran for three more weeks Cause I thought, oh, it's just a pulled muscle, I can run through it, it'll be fine. And then in October went to the orthopedic doctor and they're like oh, I think you're fine. I didn't like that because we're in orthopedics. I went to another opinion and he's like you have two stress fractures in your pelvis. You're not moving for a while. So I just started running this March of 2024 again and I love it, but I have a different outlook on it than I did when I was running in 23. I was.

Speaker 1: 32:39

I'm so glad you got a second opinion First of all, yeah, Always get a second opinion. What happened if you continued on. But it's interesting Cause I had one of those. He had to teach me how to walk again.

Speaker 1: 32:52

That's why I had some people I had. I had to be taught how to walk again, because be still and know that I'm God and you are not was what he spoke over me. That was like the first, still small voice I'd heard from him in my entire life and it sounds very similar and for me, I'm sure for you like what was it like during that time to be quote unquote benched? You know, like what did you experience? Did you have, like some amazing revelations and encounters with the Lord?

Speaker 2: 33:22

Yeah. So my, my, I always pick a word of the year and it's really funny that 23,. My word was abide and I was like, hmm, that's a great word. I would have never picked that word. It definitely came from the Lord.

Speaker 2: 33:39

Um, and it was just so real during that time when you needed to be still and present, right and just, I don't know. I, my husband's, like something happened, and you, he doesn't. He's like you're, you're not somebody that would be like, oh, look at the trees, look how beautiful it looks with the sky. I'm like let's get on to the next thing. We've got a schedule.

Speaker 2: 34:06

Um, and so during that year, it just was this beautiful moment where breath was it was, it was just a part, right. So, going back to yoga and getting in yoga and really understanding deep breathing and holding a pose and being still. And I love my yoga instructor, somebody you probably should interview. I remember just crying in the first yoga class I went to because she said this beautiful phrase and she said it probably didn't mean anything to anybody else, but it meant a lot to me in the moment.

Speaker 2: 34:43

It was ride your wobbles, because life is full of wobbles and we just have to learn to ride them well, and I was like, oh, that's what this year is Right. And so that was kind of the theme of learning to ride the wobbles of that year. Even when you're not working full-time, you're still momming full-time, you're still being a wife full-time, you're still a part of your kid's school, right. But you're trying to figure out that moment in your life where you're going next right and where you're going to use the last part of your life. Some people call it a midlife crisis. I like to call it a midlife evaluation.

Speaker 1: 35:39

S's and no's we have. We have a lot of similarities. I remember several years ago he said to know your no, because no is within the word no. Okay and O? W.

Speaker 2: 35:46

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:47

And that is so pivotal, especially for women, to to be able to say no and I don't know about you, but to be able to say no as a full sentence and not have to explain why you're saying no and I don't know about you, but to be able to say no as a full sentence and not have to explain why you're saying no have you.

Speaker 2: 36:02

Yeah, I literally gave that speech to one of my daughters about three weeks ago and she was like I said no, and and I said no, no, as a complete sentence, and I want you to learn this now, because I didn't learn that when I was your age. I think generationally it's different too as women. Right, I'm an elder, millennial. That means I know what a telephone cord is, I know what it's like to have a remote that only has like four channels on your TV, right? But I also grew up in this technology boom after I was out of high school and college and I'm watching my kids walk through it. But the need to please as a female, and just be like yes to everything, yes, oh, I don't want to make you feel bad, because that's part of being kind or being nice, or I don't know, maybe it's our Midwest, or being nice, or I don't know, maybe it's our Midwest. But I think, for females especially and having the journey I did going through ministry of you know I have I I'm a pretty demanding person on schedule I have high expectations because I feel like we should, we should always do our best, because the Lord asks it, asks it of us, to do it in excellence. We can't be perfectionists, right, but at the same time as females, there's that. That's that hard balance of it's celebrated when you're a man, but it's not celebrated when you're female, right, and there's certain personality traits that are positive for men. There's certain personality traits that are positive for men but they're not positive for females.

Speaker 2: 37:41

And, like I started this interview, we have four girls. For a reason. God gave us four girls, four young ladies, for a reason, and we want them to be strong and powerful and everything God created them to be, them to be. And if God created them with a personality like their mommy, that is fiery and determined and a warrior, then I want them to embrace that personality. We have one that is gentle and a lamb, and guess what? I want her to embrace that personality. I don't want her to become my personality, but I want her to be exactly who God created her to be, and knowing yourself and being comfortable with yourself and knowing that you're not going to be sidelined or be marginalized or question yourself and who God has created you to be. And I hope I give them that gift way earlier than I ever had that gift way earlier than I ever had.

Speaker 1: 38:36

Well, so, so I'm thinking like as of last year, you know, during my being still time learning that process. What did you discover about yourself that you had no idea because you didn't take?

Speaker 2: 38:51

the time to stop. Yeah Well, I mean, I saw some of the themes, right. I saw some of the themes of hey, you cannot be a martyr for Jesus, right? Like you can't. You can't take on that mantle. Like, there has been a savior of the world. He has come. It is not you, right.

Speaker 2: 39:13

So that's a hard one to learn when you want to do all of the things and I don't know if any of the listeners have read the book when helping hurts. It's a great book. It's very convicting to understand that sometimes you think you're helping but in actuality you're actually hurting the people that you're ultimately trying to serve, right? So, understanding those moments of people that you're ultimately trying to serve, right? So understanding those moments of, ooh, I need to go back and apologize. I need to go back and bring closure to some of the things and doing that and it's hard I need to go and have closure with some friends, with things that didn't end well and some of them wanted it and were open to it and some of them were not, and holding that space and saying, okay, that's part of your journey and that's really hard. So there were some of those moments of just introspection of relationship that needed closure with work. Again it became that platform versus God's kingdom and it became very, very clear that I could never be the number one in an organization, ever, ever again. It is an unhealthy place for me and I don't prioritize myself or my family the way that I should. I prioritize the accolades of it and the platform of it and I should never be a number one, even though by the world standards I would be an excellent number one because I have drive and determination and leadership qualities. I just know. For me, god made it very clear that if I were to step into another role, that I need to be a clear number two. And that was a hard moment. It's kind of grieving what you thought your life was going to be and being okay with it because you know it's God's plan.

Speaker 2: 41:17

One of my friends told me when I went into sabbatical. He said hey, I took a sabbatical about three years ago and during my sabbatical I had several funerals. He goes I had to have a funeral of the leader I was never going to be. I had to have a funeral of the leader I thought I was going to be, but not what God wanted me to be. I had to have a funeral of the leader I thought I was going to be, but not what God wanted me to be. And then I had to have. I had to have a funeral or, um, this career that I thought I was building into, um, that probably is never I had them so similar to his right, this career that I I thought I was going to have.

Speaker 2: 42:05

Um, that wasn't going to be the leader that I thought I would be. That's not who I'm called to be currently. It doesn't mean in a different season um, god wouldn't call me back into that, but I just am not feeling called different season. Um, god wouldn't call me in back into that, but I just am not feeling called into that. Um, and I really had to get clear on the priorities for our families. So giving some clear boundaries and sticking to them. Sticking to them for friendships, sticking to them for careers, sticking to them for just my own personal mental health with my family, right. So, extended family. It's been a crazy journey through sabbatical, but it's been beautiful in this year to see the way that God has opened doors and I didn't knock on them or even ask to be called to them, they just came to me.

Speaker 1: 42:59

Well, can I ask, was there like a guiding verse that you clung to last year during your sabbatical?

Speaker 2: 43:07

You know, I don't think that I had one guiding verse that I clung to. It's really funny because Amy and her beautiful way handed me this devotional by Ruth Simmons and I actually have it. It's called beholding and becoming look here's your, here's your uh, commercial break for living, yeah it's all about it.

Speaker 2: 43:39

We can yeah, but it's the daily art of worship, right, and so ruth just goes through this devotion of just being present and taking each verse in this devotional and being present in that verse for the day.

Speaker 2: 43:58

You know, if you can do it daily, great. If you can do it once a week, great, um, and that was just a great practice for me. And last year I studied Emmanuel, the word Emmanuel over the Christmas and the Advent season did another devotional through Ruth, and it was just great for me to get back in to that daily routine and that weekly routine for myself, not prepping for I'm going to go stand on the stage, for I'm going to go talk to this group and this is the message that I'm going to give and this is how I want to use this scripture, and I feel like God is creating, you know, this space for women and leadership and we're going to talk about X, y, z. It was a nice practice to be like, hey, I'm going to do some things for my own spiritual health, not prepping and preparing for other people. So it was more of that filling up than pouring out, because there was nothing left to pour out.

Speaker 1: 44:55

Yeah, and that's. That's what I was actually seeing. I'm like she. You got poured into a lot of times. You know, in the roles that you're in did you have, like, did you set aside time? You know in the word, did you set aside enough time to really be? You know, immerse yourself in the word, or pray. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2: 45:18

See it's. I used to joke with my husband that I would be in seven church services a week in my roles, right. So I would go and I would lead this prayer gathering and we would lead, you know, all of these things across the United States and I'd have the best speakers and pastors in the world that I'm learning from. And, yes, you do get filled up to a point, but when you're the one responsible for holding the space and the event and the experience for everyone around you, it's like there's there's there's a lid on how much you can take in, like I can take in 15 minutes but I can't be fully present, right. So it's that moment of really just beholding the moment, right, being there, being present, being fully who you're called to be, being fully immersed in worship or in the message, not thinking about the 15 other things that are on the list that need to happen for the 400 or 500 people that are around you. So I think I got trickles. I don't think I got like the full filling of the cup.

Speaker 1: 46:27

Yeah. So do you find, like, at the point you're at now, um, that your, your brain has like caught up with you know, because when you're doing all the things, you're constantly thinking about all the things? Do you feel like you've come to a place of um? So, you, you know the term fight or flight, right, I think that's a lot of it, right, um, but he was showing me, he was showing me several years ago, that we can choose fight or flight or we can choose free, like we can be free. So do you feel like a sense of, you know, freedom, and like peace and calm now, like in your soul, in your mind, all?

Speaker 2: 47:10

of it. Yes, absolutely so. You know, I think, when my husband says, I don't, I don't even know who you are anymore, like you've become a different version of yourself, and I think that that's. I think that's a beautiful compliment, right, and I think it's a beautiful compliment to marriage that we're not going to be the same people that we married 20, 15, 30, 50 years ago, right, and that we can grow together and we can change and adapt. But yes, I think there's this beautiful moment and you know I was laying on my back in the park. You've been in Wainona Lake and you know we called it we were talking about it earlier and calling it the hallmark of the United States after a yoga session and just watching the leaves flutter through and the sky, and it's just so beautiful and just realizing.

Speaker 2: 48:01

You know I don't have to take on the stress of other people's emergencies because I can fix them doesn't mean that I have to, but you know that that saying of your lack of preparedness is not cause for emergency on my part. I don't think I really understood it until this last year of I don't have to do that. I don't have to hold emotional space for something that God is not asking me to hold emotional space, for I do not have to upend my family for decisions that other people have made that I don't have any control over. I can step away from it and I can let other people fail, and that sometimes is the most loving thing that you can do. Right, because fixing it and being the quote unquote fixer of it is not always loving people well, and it's not a great way to have them learn on their journey either, because it's just enabling them to let them continue on in the pattern that they are in, and so that was a really freeing moment that stands out to me, because I can still smell the grass and still have those sensory moments of, yeah, I don't have to hold on to some of those things that I was holding on to in the past, because I felt like I needed to fix it.

Speaker 2: 49:23

Um, and I think that that comes a lot with who God knitted me to be right and the way that I grew up. I grew up in a family that was very, very hard. Um, it was. I was the only girl. I was young. Um, in my family, my older brother was 10 years older than me. My middle brother was seven years older than me. They both moved out of the house by the time I was, um, probably five or six. Uh, they had moved out. It was a very hard, emotionally abusive family. There was physical abuse with my brothers not with me but it was a very hard place to live and grow up, and so I think that formation made me an Enneagram 8. It made me seek justice. It made me seek resolution. It made me want to fix things, because I couldn't fix them when I was younger and so I'm going to fix them when I'm older because I'm in control of them.

Speaker 2: 50:34

And those early moments, those are the things that you have to go through. You can't just like move on and be like, oh, this is who I am today. We carry it like backpacks and everything that we do and the way that we parent and the way that we have friendships and relationships and the way that we do business and the way that we seek and attain accolades and career achievement right. There's all those things from when we were knitted in the womb and the way that we experienced the world and were parented that make us who we are today.

Speaker 2: 51:03

And so I think just going back and really sifting through that and saying, okay, is this my desire because of the trauma that I've gone through as a younger child, and am I trying to kind of, you know, balance it out in adulthood by having control in this, just asking those questions and being more present and asking those questions of myself and having that filter that I talked about to say, okay, am I just trying to fix a hole because it still exists and I need to go back and do the work to repair the hole, or am I really trying to move in advance, something forward that God is calling me to? Or am I not dealing with something because I don't want to go back and fix the hole? Right? So it works both ways. But yeah, maybe a long answer to say the sabbatical was a good one, not just away from seven years of ministry, but a good checkpoint to be like okay, where are you at?

Speaker 1: 52:05

When I love that. You mentioned you know therapists. You have had a coach. Like having people around you that were willing to go do the work with you.

Speaker 2: 52:15

Right. Yeah, I think it's crucial. It's so crucial and I mean I talked to my kids about it, I mean there's a running joke with me, If you know me for longer than two minutes is Jerry will normalize therapy for you. She'll say, oh, she's so special, she has two therapists, Right. So I just I don't think we normalize it enough.

Speaker 2: 52:33

Like we go to the doctor for an annual exam, we go to the eye doctor, we go to the dentist for for checkups, make sure that everything is okay.

Speaker 2: 52:41

We should be doing the same for our emotional and our mental health, Um, and we can't be the best parents, we can't be the best spouse or the best employee without doing that. Um, and I think the more we normalize it for our kids and just make it a part of who you are and what you do, takes away that stigma and it takes it. It takes it away and kind of just like, doesn't let the devil have have the power and and weakness, but shows the strength to say I need help and I can't get through this by myself and I need a second opinion, and it just shows all the strength that God is giving you and it shows the ways that he works through you, despite you know what happens in the world and finding, you know, finding a safe, neutral voice because, um, I think a lot of times, as women, you know, many women tend to hold things in and not want to share what they're going through, for, whether it's shame or guilt or whatever, you know, the list goes on right.

Speaker 2: 53:55

Exactly and I, what I found in this last 18 months is by being more open about it and sharing these struggles of hey, I, I don't need to do it all. Right, god didn't call me to do it all. I need to find the people that need to be I call it my tribe, your village, whatever you want to call it right that need to be around me, that bring me life, that I also bring them life. It's a reciprocal relationship, it's not a one-sided relationship, and really finding that I have to go back and deal with that baggage that I'm bringing into today and to this moment and know it, recognize it and move forward so that I can be all that God has called me to be I. Just that message, especially with women right now, resonates so much and I was like, okay, well, if God can work through me and my failures and he can use me to be a voice or women that are going through the same thing, where you just you know you just can't do it anymore, it hurts, maybe physically, but it just hurts to take the next step, you wake up and you're like, oh, I have to do it all over again.

Speaker 2: 55:08

Yeah, god didn't design life like that for us. Yeah, there are hard days, there are things we don't like about our job, there are things about raising kids that are hard in seasons and moments, but God created an amazing, wonderful life for us and he wants us to be joy-filled and he wants us to serve with joy and he gave us the opportunity to build a kingdom. That is amazing here. That shows everyone a glimpse of heaven, what it's going to be like, and that's our job as believers to help people see those glimpses of who he created humanity to be and, ultimately, what we get to be with him in glory, right. So we're just doing some practice work here and that means sometimes we fail.

Speaker 1: 55:55

Well, tell me, tell me what he's called you into now, like, what is he called? What is that next door that opened for you and it really was the door that happened.

Speaker 2: 56:09

Yeah, so I am currently the U S director for New Hope Girls.

Speaker 2: 56:15

It is an organization that's based in the DR and we provide rescue, restoration and redemption for girls and women in the human that are a part of helping rescue girls out of the human and sex trafficking and then walking with them holistically.

Speaker 2: 56:38

So, just as we talked about making sure that their physical needs are met, but also making sure that their emotional and mental needs are met as they are coming out of trauma. And then we have the opportunity to employ about 40 women in the DR in our workshop where they sew bags and backpacks and duffels and card pouches and all sorts of things. And we have a retail shop site on the New Hope Girls website and you can go and purchase some really amazing handcrafted and hand-sewn items and when you purchase them you get a tag with one of the ladies that is making your bag and they are just phenomenal women. I love them so much. I just got to meet them in August when I was in the DR. They're visiting and it's a great way for them to have a working wage, not have to be able to sell themselves into human trafficking or make a really hard decision for their young children, right, so we provide education for their children.

Speaker 2: 57:47

We're getting ready in 2025 to open a daycare where moms who have infants and young children can bring them to work and they'll just be steps away from them as they are working in the workshop. I just love this organization. Being a girl mom, it touches my heart in a different way, right. But I have known the founder for about four years. We met through Love, fort Wayne and that role Speaking of ways God uses um, our journey for our next steps. We met and we were sitting at a conference table and I had been talking to her for about 30 minutes and I just looked at her and I said, joy, you've got to write a book. More people have to know about what you're doing and what God has called you to do. I feel like he's shining a light on you and you need to take that next step. And she just goes oh, jerry, and um. I said okay. So we stayed in contact, stayed friends, um, and she reached out in 2024, early 2024, and said hey, remember when we had that conversation, I think I'm ready to take that step. And I said great. And it became one of these amazing stories of God where I said I'm going to take you on in consulting, but I feel like God is asking me not to charge you and I want to walk through these next steps with you because I believe in your story and I believe people need to hear your story, um, and I don't want finances to be a barrier for you, so please allow me to do this for you. And she was like, okay, and so it's been a fun journey.

Speaker 2: 59:31

And I was in the DR in August just doing a trip to make sure that we had captured everything for the book, that all the stories were being told right, and we were moving and progressing along and also helping them with the strategy session with some of their board members. And during the meeting, joy just stopped and she said, hey, this position right here that we're talking about, that's you. And I said, oh, that's cute, it's not. Um, I can see how you would think, maybe because I'm here and you know I've been journeying with you. It's not, it's okay. And she stopped and she said God told me it's you and I want you to know that I believe it's you and I think you need to seriously take time to pray about it. And if he tells you. No, then okay, but I think it's you.

Speaker 2: 1:00:21

And I was like, okay, so I took three weeks and prayed about it, talked about it with my family and you know I love that my girls have a great relationship with me and sometimes can speak amazing truth to me. And they said, mom, you light up when you work with joy, you have lots of other clients and you light up and I I think that you should do this. Like, this is what you've, you've been working for. This is an organization that has purpose. You love that it's female, run and driven. And you've, you've been working for. This is an organization that has purpose. You love that it's female, run and driven. And you've never got to work for a company like that. Like they respect you and they honor your voice and you feel heard.

Speaker 2: 1:01:03

And then my husband said you know, as a consultant, you can work with many people, but I really feel like God is calling you to go deep. And I said, oh, really, because he's already given me my word for the year. And he goes what's your word? And I go rooted and he goes Hmm, I think that's your answer. So it's been a fun journey to yes with them. I feel like I've tried to say no and God's like doors open again. Hi, here's the door. I have opened the windows too, so I'd like you to know that you should walk through the store.

Speaker 1: 1:01:40

Wow, that like it's such a beautiful adventure, isn't it?

Speaker 2: 1:01:49

It's so beautiful and you can't make it up. You cannot make these things up. And for me to like repeat the same words that Joy said to me almost four years ago oh yeah, no, that's, that's cute, you know for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:02:05

That's cute for sure.

Speaker 2: 1:02:13

Yeah, that's cute. Yes, sure, but it's amazing.

Speaker 1: 1:02:18

Like what is that? Like what has that done for you? Like you know, on the spiritual, emotional, like physical level being you know, I often say like I feel like just a lot of people are just mal-aligned in their calling right and I love to help people get in alignment with that. So where are you? Like, do you feel like you've had a complete adjustment, like a chiropractor has just literally gone in and you're good?

Speaker 2: 1:02:46

Yeah, because you want to know how I started. I said I'm willing to have a discussion about this, but there are going to be clear boundaries in this role. And they said write what job description you've always wanted, and I guarantee you that we won't say no. And I said well, no one said that to me, and so I wrote the job description and I said here are my clear boundaries, here are the things that I will not negotiate on and I'm going to tell you it's just so beautiful. I just love Joy so much.

Speaker 2: 1:03:17

Another person that you need to have a conversation with, because her story is just incredible and amazing, and I just feel so honored that I get to be like a blip in what they're doing and what they've been doing for the last 20 years with New Hope Girls. She just said I'm a mom too. I get it. I'm a wife too. I understand, and we want you to be the best mom and wife you can be, because that's what God's called you to be. And if you get to have 20 hours of your time or 30 hours of your time, well, we're going to make the most of those 20 and 30 hours, but we need you to be the best you and I'm like, wow, okay. So yeah, god was preparing me for that, I mean that is.

Speaker 1: 1:04:06

That is a word of the Lord as well, like he wants us to be our best selves as well. Right, we as to who we were created to be.

Speaker 2: 1:04:14

Yes, and I feel like you can't just walk into that. I couldn't have walked into that 10 years ago. I wouldn't even have known what that meant, right? I wouldn't have known what the best me needed to be or who I could have been. It is that journey of getting to know yourself. It's so crazy that you live with yourself every day, right, but we do really take the time to get to know who we were to be and who God has called us to be, and kind of the why behind all of it. And so taking that time to do it just made it a perfect space for me to step in at New Hope Girls. It made it a perfect space for me to be emotionally healthy, because it's heavy work, right, and I've been in that role for almost two months, officially as their employee, not just as a contract employee.

Speaker 2: 1:05:08

And I will tell you, within the first two weeks, everything in my life went haywire. I had sick kids, I had my house flooding, I had my internet not working. I had all of these things. And I remember going to my husband oh my gosh, I just can't take one more thing and he goes. Do you not think that this is like not the devil coming after you and I'm like, well, I don't work in the DR and he goes. You are so naive after you and I'm like, well, I don't work in the DR and he goes. You are so naive. Do you not understand that it doesn't?

Speaker 1: 1:05:52

matter if your boots on the ground in the DR, what you're doing is still resc big impact. And you know, I I believe I've noticed that in myself even before this podcast launched, like it was a full-on war. I was like what is going on here? Oh, I see, and the enemy will try to wear you down to like when I get you to give up, but I don't know, you're a warrior, I'm a warrior, we're not one to give up, we're not giving up.

Speaker 1: 1:06:23

I want you to like, kind of, if you could just share just a little bit about that. Um, we rest but we don't give up. At least now I used to not be that, not give up. But now I'm a resting, not give up. So to somebody who's listening that's like would you speak to that?

Speaker 2: 1:06:42

Yeah, I had this amazing mentor when I was at Sylvia's insurance group. Our oldest daughter went through a health battle that I won't get into, but it was very, very hard and there were long seasons of waiting. And I remember Steve sitting with me and this came back to me in the last year when I had the sabbatical, especially when I was physically not able to move, and he said to me Jerry, still does not mean inactive, it does not mean that everything stops. Still means that you're working. It means that God is working. You just may not be able to see the ways that it's happening. So when you're still, god is still working on your behalf. You may not see it, you may not add the tangible moments of it, but he's still. He's still working and weaving things together for you. And stillness that he's calling you to in this moment doesn't mean that you're inactive. It means that you're actively refining things within you. It means you're refining your faith when I was walking through this journey with a sick child. It means that you are, you know, refining those emotional things that are going on internally and giving them and handing them over to God. It means, when you're on sabbatical and you embrace that word still, that you're active, in the process of getting yourself healthy, emotionally, physically, right, spiritually. It doesn't mean you stop, it doesn't mean you veg out on the couch and just do nothing. That stillness is that peace and that presence to know that God is still working on your behalf. You are doing the hard work. That may not be visible to anyone, but it will be visible.

Speaker 2: 1:08:31

My words for 24, because I picked two cause I turned 40 this year more growth and light. And I felt like those embodied the work that I had been doing in 2023, that I was going to see growth in 2024 and that God was giving me a new vision of what light could be lightness and carrying those burdens, lightness and embracing the sunshine and enjoying those moments of still and just soaking up vitamin D, right Light and being a bright light in a dark world. And I love how God gives me these words and I have no clue what they're going to mean. And then I come to the end of the year and I'm like, oh, if I would have just known, right, and it's just such a beautiful picture to be present and reflect and see what that means. So, yeah, I don't think still means. I don't think it means stopping. I think it just means being active in a different way.

Speaker 1: 1:09:31

Yeah, I don't know if you know this verse when you're talking. Exodus 14, 14 in NIV. Specifically, it says the Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.

Speaker 2: 1:09:45

Yeah, yeah, it's a great one and I I don't know, I that one's. Again, it's just so hard for personalities like ours. I think it's hard for anybody. That's human right. Stillness means stopping and it doesn't mean that it's. It doesn't mean that it's it's a conclusion, I guess. And so when we look at it as an opportunity and an invitation to be active in other ways and to be active in, you know, really getting healthy mentally or really getting healthy with your emotions, or being still and getting healthy as a parent and really realizing where you need to show up for these kids in a new stage of life, right, it's just so. It's such a beautiful picture that we get to have that opportunity to evaluate especially. I don't think that everybody around the world has that opportunity. So in this Western culture, that's such a gift. Right To be able to be still, whether it's stillness on a Sunday or it's stillness in an evening, really embracing those times of Sabbath, that's really what.

Speaker 1: 1:10:57

I think still means when you're, you're creating a new generation, right? That's what I see in my life, like I'm kind of a breaker in the family. It's like you know it stops here literally.

Speaker 2: 1:11:10

It does. I just had this conversation with my kids last night and I said so funny. I said you know, I chose to do something dramatically different in the way that I parent, um than the way that I was parented. And you might choose to do things differently than the way that you were parented, but I feel like the choices that your dad and I have made intentionally to parent you differently, um, but I feel like the choices that your dad and I have made intentionally to parent you differently, um, to break that generational cycle specifically with me, are things that I'm okay with you being in therapy for. I'm okay with you being in therapy because I loved you too much and I showed up and I was present, right Like I'm okay with those things.

Speaker 1: 1:11:52

Well, I would love for you to share um at the end of every podcast. I love for you did. I think you really touched on a lot of things. But, um, if you just imagine the one woman who's listening into you today, is there anything else that you'd like to say to her? But just be open to praying over her today as well.

Speaker 2: 1:12:10

Yeah, I think it's okay to not be okay, right? So people might look at me and be like, oh, you're bubbly, you're smiling, you're talking about this, and it's easy to be um to, to look at it in the rear view mirror and be like, oh, you know, I did that and look at it through a different lens. There were some really dark days, and in 2023, um, really dark. I lost friendships, there were changes in lifestyle. I mean, it was. It was some dark days, Um, and I am not a crier and I cried more in 2023 than I think I ever have in my entire life Um, and had to come to grips with that.

Speaker 2: 1:12:52

So I think it's okay to not be okay. It's okay to share that you're not okay, and if that means that you just admit it to yourself for the first time and live with that for a few days, weeks a month, embrace that Verbally, say it out loud, I think that that has power too, to say I'm not, I'm not doing well, I am not okay, but then begin to embrace the outer circle that you have and ask for help, and whether that is, you know, taking something off of the schedule, maybe not running to get the kids in the evening or doing drop-off, or asking people to pick up your kids. I ask for help way more than I used to now, because it does take a village and we all need it. And you know, the lesson that I learned is people said, wow, I didn't realize that you needed help. You seem like you have it all together and I'm like I am a hot mess. Okay.

Speaker 2: 1:13:49

So I think, just embracing that part of us and being okay with it first with yourself, but then feeling like you can share that with a safe person and then realizing, oh, it's okay, they don't have it all together either and it makes your relationship change. When you have that truth and authenticity, it makes it safer to do it with the next person and the next person. And here I am sharing that with people I've never even met before. So all that to say is if I can do that hard work, you can do it too. Just take the first step. Take the first step. Have the conversation with your spouse or with a trusted friend, and conversation with your spouse or with a trusted friend, and and it's worth the work. It might seem scary, but in the end it's. It's exactly what God has called you to do Um, so that you can become exactly who he's created you to be Wow, oh my gosh, your testimony and what you've walked through.

Speaker 1: 1:14:53

I just know that it's going to impact so many. So thank you for being a brave voice, setting others free and the work that you're doing with New Hope Girls. I cannot wait to talk to Joy someday as well. I'm like.

Speaker 1: 1:15:07

I love hearing the stories of even the founders of these ministries. Yeah, because it it's amazing. So, um, I'm going to close with hope unlocked anchoring verse. It's made the god of hope fill you with all joy, and there's joy and peace in believing, so that, by the power of the holy spirit, you may abound in hope. And that's romans 15 13. So I will um add jerry's contact info in the show notes and any relevant information we talked about today. I definitely want to mention the books that she talked about today. I think those would be great resources for some of you. So I'll be back with another episode next week. Thank you, jerry, for being on. Thank you.