From Rock Bottom to Redemption: A Survivor's Journey of Healing and Forgiveness with Rob Decker

In this powerful episode of Hope Unlocked, Kristin Kurtz interviews Rob Decker, a man who has experienced deep pain, addiction, and a miraculous transformation. Rob shares his harrowing story of overcoming a difficult childhood, struggles with addiction, and a near-death experience after attempting suicide. Through faith, forgiveness, and a dramatic encounter with God's mercy, Rob's life was completely transformed. Listen in as Rob reveals the power of healing, how he found peace in his darkest moments.  Hear about his mission to help others through his new book God's Awning and his nonprofit, Rise As Lions. A story of redemption and second chances, you won’t want to miss this.

Rob's contact info:
Website -  https://www.riseaslions.org
Email - rob@riseaslions.org

Rob's Book: God's Awning

Chapters

• 0:16 Journey of Hope
• 15:58 Escape From Betrayal and Pain
• 32:47 Life, Redemption, Recovery, and Hope
• 47:06 Healing Through Forgiveness and Love
• 58:50 Never Lose Hope
• 1:03:57 Inspiring Testimony of Rob

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm your host, Kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching. I help and empower wildhearted and adventurous women of faith feeling caged and stuck, unlock their true purpose and potential, break free from limitations and thrive with confidence, courage and hope. If you're curious to learn more about coaching with me, head to newwingscoachingnet and be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together. Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Welcome Rob Decker to the show. I am absolutely excited to have him on here. It's kind of a wild story. We actually just met today and it just so happened to be that somebody who is going to be on the podcast to be interviewed wasn't able to hop on today and our schedules happened to align that Rob could come on instead. So he has a very powerful story and I don't even know the fullness of the story yet, but I know that this is definitely a divine connection and I want you guys to hear his story. So, Rob, could you tell us a little bit more about yourself?

Speaker 2: 1:27

I think when you talk about yourself and talk about where you're from, it kind of lines up where I'm from as well. Right, totally, yeah, I'm from Northern California. That's where I was born and raised. I was born in San Jose, california, lived most of my life in the Campbell area out there, and so spent time out there in Campbell in San Jose for a big chunk of my early life.

Speaker 1: 2:00

So then, where are you now? What's happened between then and now?

Speaker 2: 2:08

Oh, a whole bunch. So I'm in Colorado Springs, colorado, now. And so, you know, growing up in, you know, campbell, san Jose, you know a lot of what I remember really starts when I was about five or six years old and I came home one day and gave my parents a diploma because I just graduated kindergarten and on that diploma had, you know, my last name on it, you know my last name on it. Well, when I sat down with my parents, um, I found out that my dad wasn't my biological father. Um, you know, I think, looking back on it, you, you don't really understand the magnitude of the impact that that has on a young boy. Um, because it's just like, well, you're not my dad, who's my dad? Kind of thing. And um, you know, after that I just kinda, I think you just started seeing like I had a younger sister which was his biological daughter. And you know, you start, you started seeing the difference in the way that we were treated.

Speaker 2: 3:24

And you know, growing up in my house, like I saw a lot of violence. You know, everyone in my house smoked, they drank, they partied, they're rowdy. There was a lot of violence. You know, there were days where you know, my dad would get into it with my mom. The cops would show up and growing up in the 80s, like basically, you know, dad could do whatever to mom and he'd be out later that night, kind of thing. You know, it's not as strict as it is now, I guess it was just a different. It was just a different day and there were days where I would watch five cops come in the house and and watch my dad tackle five cops and fight five cops. You know, when I was about eight years old, one of the neighborhood kids came by the house and, um, his dad and my dad were really good friends and, um, he ended up getting me in the closet in my bedroom and and did some stuff to me and you know, I know that started sending me down a certain road.

Speaker 2: 4:45

By the time I was probably 10 or 11, I was sneaking through my parents house finding pornography, or sneaking through our house finding my dad's pornography and, um, so at a very young age, like I had already been, you know, interacted with in a not a very good way. And then you know, I know I'm I'm filling my, my young brain with all these pictures and you know, and so you know I started getting into that at a very, very young age and, um, by the time I was in high school, I remember my first, my first girlfriend in high school and, uh, remember going over to her house and her dad's best friend was there to keep an eye on us or whatever. And at this point, even though I'd been exposed to a lot of drugs and alcohol, I had never really dabbled in in it. Like I think maybe I just wasn't interested or too scared, or whatever. Minute, like I think maybe I just wasn't interested or too scared or whatever. But that night, um, this gentleman bought her and I alcohol and that night was the first time I got intoxicated and I watched him take advantage of my girlfriend right in front of me. And so a couple of things happened that night.

Speaker 2: 6:06

You know, I realized that I could drink and not really worry about stuff. I think that it numbed a lot of things for me, with all the chaos and trouble at home. You know, I didn't have to worry about that. I was so like honed into whatever was happening in that moment and being distracted or whatever, but it really set me on the wrong path when it came to women. It's like I already struggled in my house. My sister was my dad's favorite. You know, my mom was very passive. I think that she really feared my dad a lot, and so it was hard for her to want to keep me around, because she was always afraid of what was going to happen to me, and so I didn't have these good relationships with women or or relationships at all. Like I didn't understand love, I didn't understand trust and you know, and then I started becoming extremely rebellious in high school.

Speaker 2: 7:01

I remember, um, some kid picking on me in metals class and you know, I, just I had it, I was over it and and I plotted on him. You know, I, I, I got hit a lot at home, you know, and I couldn't really defend myself. I was, I was a young, I was a young boy and I was finally in a situation to defend myself. And so when this young man walked to the front of the class he was an upperclassman and I was a freshman in high school I told myself that I'm just not going to keep doing this anymore, I'm not going to keep getting picked on anymore. And I followed him and I decided to unload on him and make a spectacle of him in front of the class. He never saw it coming. And what that did for me is it gave me this false sense of self-esteem and confidence.

Speaker 2: 7:56

Because after that, what happened was everyone started really noticing me and respecting me. You know, I never felt like I was noticed in my house. I grew up in a very loud house and whoever spoke the loudest was the winner, right. So I didn't have a voice in my house. I didn't, you know, but this started to mold my identity. So now I get into fighting mode, I get into drinking mode and shortly after drinking I, you know, I met marijuana and acid and you know I spent my teens just getting intoxicated. One night, my buddies and I, or some friends and I, went to the drive-in movies and we snuck in. I was in the trunk and I was completely hammered and I remember hopping out of the back of the car, you know, probably being rowdy and obnoxious, and the guy next to me, you know, didn't want to have anything to do with it the car next to us and so he ended up pulling a shotgun out and pointing it at me and I dared him to pull the trigger because that's 16 years old.

Speaker 2: 9:06

Um, like I was just reckless, I did and I just like invincible right yeah, well, you just, you know, when I struggled, um, a lot of my young life with the thoughts of suicide, my buddy and I, when we were really young, we used to scrape our our wrists with, uh, with metal. We tried to, you know, and and I know it was a cry out for help and stuff like that, but like it was something like life would be better off if we weren't here, kind of thing, because I had a buddy that was in a similar situation as I was. And so here we are in this moment and get this gun pulled out on me and like I just don't even care. Everyone around me is like losing it, you know, crying, and and I encouraged that guy to pull the trigger that day and he, he didn't. He threw the shotgun back in the car and he took off and the cop showed up and I did what I knew. The cop showed up and one of the cops was trying to calm me down. He put his hand on my shoulder, he walked from behind me, put his hand on my shoulder and I grabbed him and I threw him and then I got bomb rushed by like five cops and I fought that until I just couldn't anymore.

Speaker 2: 10:30

Um, but yet that was stuff that I was familiar with, right, I was familiar with that kind of behavior and so, you know, I I ended up dropping out of school.

Speaker 2: 10:41

I had a lot of legal troubles in school, whether it's for fighting, um, you know, things associated with drunkenness or or getting high. Uh, you know, I eventually just left high school, you know, and started to get into the workforce, and you know, working was fun for me, um, but what would happen every single job was, you know, I'd get to know everybody. Everyone loved me. I was always very outgoing, very charismatic, very engaging, and then, you know, we would all start to party together and they'd see that dark, broken side of me, whether it came out in anger and rage or came out of like just tears and deep brokenness. You know, my 20s was all like that, like I had some really amazing jobs and I had some very amazing relationships that I just threw away because I couldn't quit self-medicating. By the time I was 29, I had met a young lady and, you know, right out the gate, I just I knew it was a bad idea, but I was in this place where bad ideas were good ideas, kind of thing Like.

Speaker 1: 12:08

I just functioned in the chaos, I suppose.

Speaker 2: 12:10

What's that?

Speaker 1: 12:11

What you're raised in. So you didn't, you didn't really know different.

Speaker 2: 12:15

Yeah, it was very familiar to me and so, um, early on in that relationship it got physical and so I left that relationship. And when I left that relationship, I had some buddies that I previously worked with that invited me to a Bible study, and and so I took them up on that offer because at this time in my life, you know, I'd broken up with my girlfriend. I believe that I'd no longer had my license because I'd got a DUI. My license because I got a DUI, you know, I was hopping couch to couch at friends' houses. I was selling, uh, steroids and HGH. I had a really bad cocaine, ecstasy and alcohol problem. Throw some marijuana in there too. Might as well throw some weed in there, uh, but I just, that's just kind of the place that I was in.

Speaker 2: 13:02

And when I went into this Bible study, um, these guys started to pray over me and they asked me if I wanted to receive Jesus. And this is when we were in Northern California, and so it was a hot day, we were in this air conditioned room and these guys started praying over me and all of a sudden I just start shaking and sweating. And all of a sudden I just start shaking and sweating and the thing like I wasn't, like I just I wasn't, I wasn't scared of anything, I was, you know, it was just like this really supernatural experience and after I accepted Jesus not knowing exactly what that meant, but that's what I did in that moment Um, there was a freedom and a peace that came with that, but this is how the enemy works. Um, immediately after the young lady that I had broken up with, I had found out through a friend that she was escorting.

Speaker 1: 13:58

Oh really.

Speaker 2: 14:11

Yeah and um, and so I put my Jesus cape on. I felt it was my responsibility to go into her life and help her out of that situation.

Speaker 2: 14:15

And, um, and it was bad because even in that situation, there was times where she was, um, going to her jobs with these men and I was in the car with her as protection or the driver. You know, um, I was still struggling with drugs and alcohol big time, even though I'd give my life to the Lord, um, I was still struggling and I really cared about her and I wanted all this stuff to work out, well. Well, the deal was that she was going to get rid of all of her clients and then we were going to work out our relationship. That was, that was the plan, and but but part of that plan was she had one more major um, um job that she had to do. And so she ends up going to Hawaii to be with this guy and she calls me and starts telling me everything short of getting beat and raped and, um, how she got insulted and um, yeah, you know I can't, I just know what happened to her over there was really, really bad. And she had even sent me a picture on her cell phone of a black guy and she tried to play it off Like she got hit by a surfboard. And I'm like you know how many people I've punched in my life Like that's not a surfboard hitting your eye, that's like a fist, like and you just got done telling me like what this guy did to you. And so the deal was in that conversation she apologized to me about things that had previously happened in our relationship and that, um, we were going to make good.

Speaker 2: 15:58

When she got back and, uh, so she comes, she comes back home, she picks me up on her way home from the airport and we ended up going to the liquor store getting a bottle. Going back to her place. Well, you know, we started getting into conversation and it was just like, overall, it was just so uneasy, everything about it was just so uneasy, easy. And, um, I ended up going downstairs to, uh, rest it off. She had like a little sofa and so she lived in a three-story loft and so I had to go downstairs to go lay on this loft and, um, I wake up to a bang at the door and it's the police and she comes down and and I look at her. I was like what is going on? And she looked at me and she's like I called the cops and told them that you raped me and that you tried to kill me and uh, I just felt, uh I was so broken, scared, betrayed, um, confused, all of it. I just couldn't, like I couldn't fathom any of it.

Speaker 2: 17:05

Right now here's something really crazy that I get to kind of look back on is when I was young, I was told that I'd be dead or in prison by the time I was 30. That was eight days after my 29th birthday, after my 29th birthday. So I had prison on one side of the door and I had death on the other side of the window, and I opted for death. I wasn't going to give my life over like that, so I was going to take control over the situation. So I ran head first out of a third story loft window with the intention of breaking my neck and killing myself. My foot clipped an awning, changed my fall and I severed my spine, broke both of my arms and collapsed my lung, and I don't believe I ever blacked out. I remember laying on that concrete, looking up at that window that felt so high in the air, barely breathing, asking God why he would let me live.

Speaker 1: 18:31

After the surgery detectives came in and handcuffed me to the bed and hit me with a million dollar bond and rape and attempted murder charges. I'm just having a moment here. I'm just having a moment with just the visual of everything like playing out. So as you like. Did you even like, before you jumped out the window, did you have a lot of time to think about like, do you remember thinking yeah?

Speaker 2: 18:55

yeah, I remember, I just remember like I just can't do this anymore, like this is not. You know, I, um, it was just too much, it was a sensory overload and it felt like complete betrayal, um, and fear, and and, and I just I took off, I took off and I, I remember breaking that glass Cause I, I broke through a closed window, that that window was closed, um, but yeah, so the awning you said that there was, tell me a little bit more about the awning.

Speaker 2: 19:34

So the awning kind of your foot clipped it. Yeah, my foot. So when I jumped out of the window I Superman it out the window and then my foot slightly caught the awning below the window Cause there was two other stories below me and changed my fall.

Speaker 1: 19:54

Okay, so you're, you're on the ground and are you feeling pain, or are you? Oh?

Speaker 2: 20:00

well, yeah, immense amounts of it. I mean I could barely breathe. Oh well, yeah, immense amounts of it. Um, I mean I could barely breathe. Yeah, I just felt, you know, I mean I just severed my spine, broke both my arms, like I think that my body was in shock and a lot of pain at the same time and my breasts were very shallow. I remember having very, very shallow breath and the commotion of, you know, at some point, the emts like over me trying to, um, get me situated, to get on the ambulance so do you remember, like any conversations with god at that time, that he was responsive to you Like?

Speaker 1: 20:44

do you remember any?

Speaker 2: 20:47

I just remember asking why he he let me live. And you know I see why. Now, right, I mean it's yeah, but not in the time. But but, like, here's the crate. This is when God really shows up. So you want to talk about God like conversation, or God just showing up in an amazing, powerful way, like as I'm laying in that hospital. So I'm laying handcuffed to that bed and I get 24 hour supervision. And I remember this cop, like one of the cops. He was just really hard on me and he was telling me how bad of a person I was. And he read the police report and, um, you know what people were going to do to me in prison for the things I did. And man, I just I broke down crying. I broke down crying and I said you know, um, I've done a lot of bad things in my life, but that's just not something I would do. That's just not in me.

Speaker 2: 21:49

And the nurse had to come in because my heart rate elevated quickly because of the angst that I was going through in that conversation. And as that was going on, the nurse comes in and is, like you need to, I need you to calm down, Rob, or Mr, you need to. I need you to calm down, rob, or mr deck, I need you to calm down, I can't. I just went through like a 10-hour surgery and my butt and I was still like getting blood transfusions. My body kept rejecting the blood and so my body went through this horrible trauma. And and as the nurse is leaving, the young walks in in a disguise with a folder in her hand and her sister, her older sister, is with her and the cop looks at me and he goes is that who I think that is? And I'm like yes, sir, yes, sir, it is. And in that moment his whole demeanor just shifted. It's like well, that doesn't make sense, right? Um? He then escorts her out of the hospital and um comes back. And not that he has a lot of words for me, but it was just like you know, for someone that's accusing you of those kind of things, like that is not something that someone in that situation does, kind of thing Right, Shows up in the hospital for any reason.

Speaker 2: 23:13

So later that night I'm laying in bed and you know I have a cast on my right arm, external fixator on my left, I have tubes coming out of my nose, I have medication dilaudid and morphine pumping through my left, I have tubes coming out of my nose, I have medication dilaudid and um morphine pumping through my neck, Um, I can't use my legs. I am extreme amounts of pain, you know. You hear the machines of the EKG and the oxygen and the, the bright lights and the intercoms and the constant in and out of the nurses and the doctors and all of it. And I laid in that bed and I just asked God. I said, well, what do we do? Like what happens, you know.

Speaker 2: 23:57

And in that moment I got sheathed with this overwhelming peace. It's almost like all the sounds, the lights and the pain just kind of disappeared for a moment. And I hear the with the utmost clarity the charges will be dropped, your bills will be paid and you will walk again. I woke up and all the chaos was back, All of it was back All the pain, the lights, the machine, everything was just it was all back, black, all back. And then, uh, one of the officers that was swapping out um comes in and he looks at me and he's like hey Decker, I just want to let you know that they're going to drop the charges. What?

Speaker 1: 24:55

was right after.

Speaker 2: 24:56

Yeah, right after and you know that was quite a supernatural experience too, cause you know when we get to when I crashed the car and gave up was delivered from drug and alcohol abuse. It was a very similar situation. Like here's the thing all my pain, all the chaos, all the noises, all the drugs being pumped in I mean dilaudid and morphine that's some powerful stuff, like a little bit huh does that make you kind of incoherent a little bit?

Speaker 2: 25:32

a little bit. I mean that's yeah, yeah, yeah, slightly, slightly, but yeah, but but the like. So he shows up through all that stuff, right. And then so I eventually get released, um, and then, um, because I was under the arrest, I wasn't allowed to have any guests. So my mom, of all people, happens to be my first, my first guest at the hospital and she happens to be there when, um, the doctors. So so I look out into the hallway and I see my mom talking to my neurosurgeon and I, my mom buckles, like she's broken, and I'm already know, like I know, what that doctor is telling my mom. And my mom walks in how are you doing honey? Like, ah, you know. And um, I'm like what's up mom? She's like, ah, nothing, you know. And like, what'd he tell you? Oh, nothing, everything's going to be fine, son. And, um, I said he told you I'm never going to walk again, didn't he? And my mom just kind of broke and she's like everything's going to be fine, son. And I'm like, don't worry, mom, you know, I'll walk out of here. Like, don't worry about that.

Speaker 2: 26:53

And so a little background on my mom. Like my mom came from a broken childhood. She was a kid, having a kid, when she had me. My biological father wasn't there when she had me. And then she met my dad, the guy that I believe was dad Right, and they had a very, you know, challenging relationship. My mom was also encouraged to have an abortion when she was pregnant with me. She's like, well, you know, his dad's not around, like you have no business, like my mom was a runaway. She had been beaten and raped, and like my mom had been through her own stuff.

Speaker 2: 27:25

Right, and here we are, you know my mom's. Now she sees her baby boy, you know, all in a hospital, hospital bed, all jacked up and eyes rolling in the back of my head, rocking back and forth and a plethora of pain. And you know I'm trying to give her comfort, saying that everything's going to be okay. And she looks at me and she says uh, son, I wish everything ended for you that day. And what I heard in a mother's love is I love you, son, and I don't want you to be in pain anymore. And I don't want to be in pain either. And um, I received it, that, that statement as I love you, son.

Speaker 2: 28:08

Um, the nurses and doctors end up coming in and they're like, well, we're going to try to get you to step on your, get on your feet. And so they come in and they try to get me on my feet and it just like like a bag of bricks just hits my body Like there's no way I'm getting up. I, I squeal, I screech and they sat me down like yeah, this isn't going to happen. So the neurosurgeon says we're going to, we're going to perform another surgery. And so they perform another surgery. I'm down for a couple of days and the nurse comes in and she goes we're going to try to get you to move. Today and I was able to actually sit up on the side of my bed, which was very encouraging, because I couldn't sit up at all before. There was no way. Um, I, yeah, there was no way.

Speaker 1: 28:53

So how many days in was this like after the accident then?

Speaker 2: 29:02

I would say within a week or two, within a week or, and then, um, so they get me up on my my feet and, um, man, they walk me out and walking. I mean my right, yeah, my left side is more dragging and my right side is walking. And I remember getting into the hallway and the nurse is like, I just need you to try to try to walk. You know, just try to walk. And and I like, in my excitement I was like excited I was I was so excited that I was back on my feet again that I just kind of took off. I just took off to the point where my left side couldn't keep up with my right side and I ran into a wall. And to me it was absolutely hilarious and it was a joyful moment for me, while the nurse was totally scared and worried about me and in my heart I was like I'm going to walk again and that's the only thing that mattered. I don't care if I ran into a wall Right. And so, um, yeah, that was the beginning stages of me kind of heading in that direction and I eventually was able to start getting up out of bed myself to go use the restroom, and I remember one time getting up out of that bed and looking in the mirror. Like I didn't even realize. I was looking in the mirror and I'm like, who is that dude? Who's that guy that's in my room right now? It was me. I didn't recognize me when I jumped out of that window.

Speaker 2: 30:31

I was 215 pounds of solid muscle in three, two, three weeks. I got down to about one, 55, one, 60. Huh, did you eat at all during that time? I couldn't. I was in way too much pain. Like the nurses were coming in like why aren't you eating? And dah, dah, dah. I only wanted to be medicated and then the medication had an allergic reaction with me, so they had to give me Benadryl. Then the Benadryl would put me to sleep and that was a cycle that I lived in for a while, um, but I wasn't eating, I just totally disintegrated. And I just remember, like, looking at myself in the mirror, not even recognizing that guy at all.

Speaker 2: 31:16

And, uh, after about six weeks I was finally released to go home and, um, I went to stay with my mom and that's when things started to really change for me as far as healing. Um, my mom came home one day, walks in through the door and I broke down crying and I told my mom, like I'm thank you, mom, thank you for taking care of me. 29 years old, I'm broken to pieces, right Like mom, thank you. And my mom sat me down and the story I shared with you earlier about the things she had been through I didn't know until this moment. So my mom starts to tell me about her childhood, the things that she had been through, and my heart broke for her and I realized that my mom was just as human as I was, that I couldn't really be mad at the things that she did and did not do for me and her struggles and addictions in this life, because she was just a little bit older version of me and that's it.

Speaker 1: 32:19

How old was she when she had you?

Speaker 2: 32:21

17, 17, 17 years old.

Speaker 1: 32:26

And she, and she chose life for you.

Speaker 2: 32:30

She chose life for me, um, um. Then she told me about my dad and some of his stuff. Yeah, uh, and, and I just forgave both my parents. In that moment I was like, you know, you guys just tried your best and here I am. You know, here I am.

Speaker 2: 32:47

And so over the next, like you know, few years, like I had to rehabilitate myself. It got to the point where the hospital checked out on me. I wasn't rehabilitate Like I was. I was pretty toast, like um I was. You know, I was convincing my mom to buy me all this alcohol, like I just wanted to numb myself all the time. But but I was praying and I was going to church. I had friends picking me up, taking me to church and but I struggled, I battled, I. It was such a battle for me and over the next four and a half years I was able to get off almost all my medications. I gained about 30 pounds of muscle. Like my neurosurgeon looked at me one day I was like, what are you doing? Like I was like dude, I just started lifting weights, praising Jesus, and here we are, man Like, and he was like blown away, you know.

Speaker 2: 33:40

And but I was still struggling with drugs and alcohol and and I remember I you know I I was living off a disability I realized I needed to get back into the workplace, that I had a story to tell, that I needed to help people. Well, I got a job at a brand new gym and I met this young lady and we started talking and dating and stuff like that and we ended up nine months into our relationship. So the only thing we ever struggled with in our relationship was my drinking. And the first time we went out to dinner I ordered a pitcher and she said she wanted none. And I was like that's cool, it was all for me anyway, kind of thing. And right, like I'm pregame and girl cause I plan on knocking down two more pitchers and she goes. I don't like that. Well, what she didn't know in that moment was that I had kept asking God to remove drug and alcohol abuse from my life. Um, she didn't know that and I'm like, okay, lord, if is this what you're going to do? Is you're going to use her Cause? I knew that she was supposed to be in my life. I knew it.

Speaker 2: 34:50

Um, and you know, after nine months, uh, I ended up getting a hernia from all the training, like I was training my body, like I never broke my back, kind of thing and I ended up getting a hernia. And then I did the whole poor me. Um got drunk, got behind the wheel of her car and then ended up crashing into um right off the 85 in Saratoga. Um, right off the 85 in Saratoga, you might be familiar. Um, um, this was right after the 85 was built and I crashed into a house in Saratoga, property in Saratoga and I ran from the scene of the crime, fell into a Creek and ended up under a house and, um, I was under the house and I'm like, here we are again. God, I am just throwing it away all over again and at this point I'm crushing it.

Speaker 2: 35:46

At my job, I'm the number one salesman. So my my girlfriend at the time, who is now my wife, but my girlfriend at the time, like I had moved jobs, I had gotten a new job, I was the number one salesman. They're about to make me the sales manager of this brand new facility, the first of its kind. So LA Fitness is known around the world. In Northern California you can't have LA Fitness because it's Northern California. It's its own state, right? You know how that works. And so they had a sister club called City Sports and I was the number one salesman for that club and I was I mean, I was crushing. I was making all this money like my, my, my muscle, like life. I had this wonderful girl in my life and I'm throwing it all away once again. Because of what? Once again because of what? Because of poor me.

Speaker 2: 36:41

Right, I was under that house and I was like I was negotiating with God. Right, I was negotiating with God. I said, if you bail me out of this situation which you don't have to because you're a righteous judge like I deserve consequences. Judge, like I deserve consequences, like I will never drink and use again, I will, um, move to Southern California. Right, my, my wife wanted to move, my girlfriend wanted to move back home to her family, and so, lord and I will marry her, if this is your will, from my life. This is what I will do If you bail me out of this situation. In that moment, under that house, I was given. It was a vision Under the influence, just like being under the influence in the hospital. I was given this vision of the amount of mercy, grace, forgiveness, patience, love that the Lord had poured on me just in the last four and a half years after my suicide attempt gave me everything back and my heart broke inside.

Speaker 2: 37:52

It was like my heart twisted in my chest and I surrendered my life to the Lord for good. Under that house, I repented for my ways and the spirit of drug and alcohol addiction left me January 8th 2013.

Speaker 1: 38:16

January 8th 2013.

Speaker 2: 38:19

Yep, we're about to hit 10 years, 12 years 12 years. We're about to hit 12 years, I have not been tempted. I've like um long story short. In that situation, god bailed me out. I'll spare you the details of that situation, but God, god bailed me out completely bailed out.

Speaker 2: 38:41

Um, I ended up serving five or six days of community service in Southern California, um, but my life was given back to me. My wife and I got married. We had CJ, caleb. Um, we came out to well, sorry, sorry, we didn't have caleb yet. We came out to colorado on our honeymoon and fell in love with colorado springs and and said you know, we're going to move here, this is where we're going to move. And, uh, then we had, then we had cj. When, when we came back and when he was about one and a half which he'll be eight tomorrow, oh, and he was about one and a half we packed up and moved to Colorado Springs, colorado.

Speaker 2: 39:30

And you know, I got out here and got back into fitness, started my own gym, got connected with a lot of people in mental health and recovery and became a recovery coach and then state certified coach and, um, you know. And then I started a nonprofit organization called rises lions and recovery rebel softball. Like um, I think there's a stigma when it comes to addiction and recovery and for me, I think what God had given me in my time of healing from my drug and alcohol abuse was my wise and my wise all came from doubt and fear and trauma and unforgiveness and bitterness and a lack of self-love, like all of that. That's why I self-medicated, right, and I did that with a lot of things, and he, he showed me that he and so for me, like I, wanted to develop these softball teams that really focused more on hey, we all have problems, we're all concealing something, we all have brokenness somewhere. How do we respect each other's recovery journey, whether it was drug and alcohol, addiction, abuse, molestation, assault, whatever it was? How do we come together and honor each other's journeys and and write it out together? And so, uh, recovery rebels. Softball currently has uh, three teams and um, yeah, and then I recently decided to put some of these stories in a book, 25 of them to be exact. Um, you know what I'm going to touch on.

Speaker 2: 41:23

So after my dad died, the one that raised me, it was crazy. He, he called me one day and this is 10 years after I jumped out of the window, calls me one day and he says son, I don't know why you talked to me. I don't know why you love me. I did nothing but hurt you and I never wanted you to be better than me. What I heard was I'm sorry, son, and I love you. And if you knew my dad, he was Marine, hard, tough, right, like you know. And and he was saying his version, right, his version. But I, you know, I deciphered it. Um, you know, dad, it's because I love you. You know, after I jumped out of that window, him and I had a relationship for the next 10 years and Christ was filling me full of love and forgiveness from my father and um, I ended up getting a phone call three days later from my niece saying grandpa's dad, grandpa's dead. Um, and what I realized is my dad knew he was on his way out and, uh, he wanted peace.

Speaker 1: 42:33

Did you know that?

Speaker 2: 42:35

No, no, no, no. I didn't know until three days after, um, when I got that phone call and got off the phone with my niece, I realized what had happened. My dad knew his time was short, um, and I'm just grateful that I got to have that conversation with him, because that's not everybody's story, Um. But shortly after that, um, I was led to reach out to my biological father. So I found him on Facebook and I messaged him and, uh, he told me that he only had six months to live. So I'm like, here we go again. God, what are we doing? Let's do it. I'm in, count me in, all in, I don't care how much this hurts because, um, I want him to know that he's loved and he's forgiven, and whether he was there or was it like I don't care, let's uh, let's you know, let's go, god. And so, um, I eventually, five and a half, six months into it, I ended up making the trip out to Washington while he was on his deathbed and, uh, I remember, before I went, I was given a vision and in that vision I was baptizing my dad.

Speaker 2: 43:51

Well, my dad was bedridden and I got mad at God. While I was there, I said you know. You said I was going to baptize him, and then God checked me. I said you know. You said I was going to baptize him, and then God checked me. He said I was showing you in the spirit what was going to take place while you were there. That happens, and shortly after that my dad gets up out of bed and says Jesus is coming soon. This was not a religious man. Him and I had God conversations. Those were words that never came out of his mouth, and that's six months the day that I left. I sat next to him in his bed, I held his hand.

Speaker 2: 44:41

I remember holding his knuckle, looking down at him and said Dad, I got to go home and be with my family family now. I just want to let you know that you're loved and that you're forgiven and you gotta you get to go be with god now and my dad was emaciated, he was sucked up, he was. I sunk it like he was like barely breathing and you could see like everything was shallow and uh and out of nowhere.

Speaker 2: 45:06

You hear no not yet like, and I and I broke in that moment, like he heard everything I was saying um I, uh, I I left and a couple days later I got the phone call.

Speaker 2: 45:33

I got the phone call so, um, power, forgiveness. Like I share my dad's stories because I forgave both of those men and even though it took one 10 years and the other one it took six months, it doesn't matter I believe, because of forgiveness, that they were able to have those last minute interactions with me, which were good for me but was also, I think it was freeing for them. I really do, I think it was very freeing for them on their last moments. And so you know, with all that being said, like I really make it my life's work to be the best that I can be in all areas of my life, and, you know, through the ministry and the nonprofit, and, and now the book, I think the book, the book, is going to be that opportunity, like these podcasts, where people all over the world can hear a story of redemption and rejection and forgiveness and trial and tribulation and victory. You know, because at the end of the day, I'm grateful for every single thing that I've been through and I didn't even share all the stories.

Speaker 1: 46:36

Right, there's a lot. Huh, I said we have a lot I'm sure that we could share. We could come back another time.

Speaker 2: 46:47

I would totally do that too. Um, you know what? What's encouraging me right now is that the feedback that I'm getting. Um, I'm having people hear my story, read my book. I um, you know people are.

Speaker 2: 47:03

God's awning. I will share that story. So God told me I was going to write a book one day and I laughed at him and he brought a lot a writer into my life and uh, I said, okay, dad, what are we going to name the book? And he says God's awning. I'm like, well, that's catchy. God's awning, you're God. My foot clipped an awning.

Speaker 2: 47:25

Uh a couple of weeks goes by and I'm playing on my phone and all of a sudden I feel like this tug on my sleeve. Look up the word awning and covering, or stop it.

Speaker 1: 47:38

Do you know what's on my sweatshirt, what, what the word word is? Huh, it says covering stop it. Stop it.

Speaker 2: 47:47

Covered, not covering, and covered with an awning is a covering or or protection, and, um, it brought new life to my foot. Clipping that awning, or having a place in my story, jumping out of that window, has a huge place in my story because for me, it's not even about the things that unfolded, it's just like where God was in my whole life story. And so, you know, I want to encourage people that. You know it's crazy because I feel like God's always been there with me. He knew I was going to come home like the prodigal son. I was destined to be part of his family. Come home like the prodigal son. I was destined to be part of his family. You know, and, um, you know, now I just turned my whole life over to him and I share my story and transparency and vulnerability. And you know, the truth about that is is, you know, I've done podcasts, I've been on TV, I've been in magazines and there's always those few people that have to say some really harsh stuff about my story. Um, but those are the attacks that you're going to take. But I'm willing to take those attacks If my story brings somebody to Christ or heals an area of their life that maybe they hadn't handed over to Christ, and that's pretty much what the book is for Like.

Speaker 2: 49:04

The book comes down to a story 25 chapters, a story, and then biblical truth, or how it lines up with the word, and then an application piece. Because I want the reader to see themselves in my story, because the crazy part is is people don't realize how much more alike we are than they like to give credit for. I think when I was in this huge victim mindset, it's like no one has my problems and all, it's only me. You know, um, but we all have a lot in common. We've all been through some crazy stuff, and maybe you haven't been through the things I've been through, but your stuff counts too, and people need healing and I know for a fact that it's Jesus Christ and what he did on the cross that does that for me. But that was all a process, right that was. It was like from glory to glory, to glory to glory, right, um? You know, 12 years sober. I didn't get to grow up until I stopped drinking.

Speaker 1: 50:02

Right, and I think you actually said something to me earlier when you had messaged about, you know, coming on here about learning to walk again. It's actually a phrase that I use as well, so I was like, well, I think we need to have him on here.

Speaker 2: 50:15

Yeah, well, I think that this whole thing was just super divine, so we're going to tell the audience. So I was playing on AI, I found this podcast, we connected and then we found out that we had crazy similarities. Similarities grew up in the same place and same places and have similar genetics and serve the most amazing god ever, and so yeah, we both have been freed from addiction, like we've been delivered before this.

Speaker 1: 50:45

I'm like, I am like a rag muffin. You know, like if anybody's seen the movie uhamuffin, I think I can't remember the singer who portrays the rag muffin. But you know, we're, we're. Yeah, we don't fit in a box, we'll just put it that way.

Speaker 2: 51:03

I would say that you know my, my story, your story. It's very unique, you know. I know that people go through years of like, therapy and meetings, and you know, just to get free of drug and alcohol addiction. I will say this that I know for a fact that I self-medicated, and what God showed me under that house that morning was there were things in my life that I just weren't handing over to him, and that's what broke my heart, because I'm like man you've done all these great things from you gave me my life back, like, and here I'm not handing this and that over to you because I feel like you can't fix it for me Like, and it broke my heart and that's when the spirit of addiction left me. I I've I will stick to this that I made a conscious decision to use and drink and, yes, there was a physiological, physical attachment to it at some point. But my truth is that I made that decision and um and so part of my decision was giving it all to the Lord.

Speaker 1: 52:17

Give it all. Give it all back. Yeah, yep, yep. You know I wanted to capture something that you shared. Um, I, I caught this both when you were hearing your mom speak to you and also in translating their language that they love to you. Yeah, I really want you to. If you could just touch a little bit more on that, because I feel like maybe others out there have encountered something similar and they're just waiting for somebody to say those words and maybe those people just can't say it. They don't know how to say it. I love you were able to from the ears, like you're. You you're tuned into love, right?

Speaker 2: 53:01

so you didn't necessarily hear those three words, but you know but you, you know the epiphany that I had was you know the epiphany that I had was you know if I was raised, the way that I was raised? I can't imagine how they were raised and imagine the things that were said and not said to them. And so, for me, I was just able to decipher what they were really trying to say to me. I heard their brokenness, I heard their sadness, I heard the love in their voice. Right Like I got it, you know, I struggled to say I was sorry, my whole life, like you know, I love you Like man, like that was hard for me.

Speaker 2: 53:41

And so, when I was able to forgive my parents, I understood their language too, and I understood how hard it was for them to tell me those things and to navigate through their own feelings. And, um, you know our parents. They're just as human as we are and they go through their own brokenness and their own pain, and then their behaviors and what they and I'm not saying what has happened to us is okay. What I'm saying is that I understand it, right. I understand it because they have battles and demons and issues and behaviors that they're dealing with, and sometimes they can't even put a thumb on it.

Speaker 1: 54:17

Right.

Speaker 2: 54:17

I'm saying, and so the grace and the forgiveness for them, because they were broken kids trying to raise a kid, and I truly believe that healing starts with forgiveness and forgiveness can be a kid.

Speaker 2: 54:27

And, um, I truly believe that healing starts with forgiveness, um, and forgiveness can be a process.

Speaker 2: 54:32

You know, if you're still engaging with these individuals that hurt you, like they don't have it all figured out, you don't have it all figured out, but it's your heart, it's your posture before the situation of, like you know, um, and there will be situations, to be honest with you, where there has to be particular boundaries set up, you know, in order for you not to get pulled back into certain things.

Speaker 2: 54:52

But you know, uh, forgiveness is so huge for healing and I believe, because of being able to forgive both my dads and my mom and the offenses, like even the little boy that did stuff to me, um, that young man just about two months ago, um, I called him and I told him that he was forgiven for the things he did to me in that room and he was really quiet and he said thank you. And I said I don't know whatever happened to you, man, I don't know who hurt you, I don't know what's been going on in your life for the last 40 years, man, but just know that I love you and that I'm here to support you, and if you ever need to talk and let anything off your chest no judgment man, no shame I am here for you.

Speaker 2: 55:46

I am here for you, you know, and I think that because God opens those doors and allows me to have those conversations, I can walk into this world and genuinely pour into people. Because you know, what I've seen and I have been right is sometimes we try to help, we try to rescue people because we wanted to be rescued. We help people because we want to be rescued. We help people because we want to be helped but we never really heal from our stuff. And I think to be really fully effective in the kingdom is that you have to rip out those roots and you have to be healing. There are things that are still you're going to feel, but it's how you manage and navigate and release. And you know, that's where we become super effective in pouring into others is because we've allowed God to do that through us.

Speaker 1: 56:39

Absolutely. I mean so much grace and love and you know I just feel his compassion. You know, through you, over the people that you've been able to truly like, you're setting them free, right, you're, you get free and then you've set them free as well, the ones. That was part of my story too. That was when there was people in my life that, once I got saved, I knew I had to forgive them. Yeah, right away I was like that's what dropped on me. It was like okay, free of drugs, alcohol. And then like go forgive. Okay, all right, it was hard, but it wasn't like.

Speaker 1: 57:16

I was just gonna say like to the people. There was people that I thought I would never talk to again yeah and then being led to do something like that by the Lord is so freeing.

Speaker 2: 57:30

When I was sitting in the hospital and it was like you want to heal son, or your first line of business is to forgive the young lady that did these things to you and said those things to you or about you.

Speaker 2: 57:43

Right, I'm like Lord, done, done you know, like Done, done you know, like you know. I knew part of her story, I know her brokenness, you know and you know. To this day. You just hope that prayers have been answered, that the right people have come in her life, that she's been able to forgive herself and that a powerful man of God is loving on her and they're raising children to not have to live the same life that a lot of us lived.

Speaker 1: 58:12

Yeah Well, your, your story and your testimony and your life is incredible, and I'm so um just expectant for you and the more that he's going to be bringing to this year through connections and the words that you are. You know, speaking and also writing. I'm sure this isn't your only book.

Speaker 2: 58:34

So so I've already had people there. There's going to be three. That's the number. Three is a number and you just confirmed, yeah, Something multiple baby book babies.

Speaker 1: 58:50

Well, what I like to end the podcast with is typically, I would say, mostly women tune in, but I know that there's men and women. So if you could just kind of catch a vision of somebody who's listening in right now, what would you have to say to them, like, is there something you'd like to speak over them? And then would you be open to praying over them today?

Speaker 2: 59:09

Yeah, you know, for me it's never lose hope. There were moments where I would get out of bed in the morning broken to pieces, hurting, just in pain, such bad pain, and contemplating my future like no woman's ever going to love me. Or, you know, am I ever going to work Like I never really gave up hope? You know, um, and God just continued to show up. And, and you know, what I learned is that, um, a lot of times we needed these experiences to become the people that we are, because it actually drew us closer to the Lord as well and gave us much more powerful testimony. So, if you're going through something today, you know, a lot of times it's just the refining and the molding, but you also have to give it to God, you know, go before the throne, give it to him, walk it out with him and trust in his ways, because we don't, we can't lean into our own understanding. We don't always understand. We truly don't. I, you know, if I was given everything the way I wanted, when I wanted it, it probably wouldn't have turned out so good. Everything that's happened up to this moment was because this was God's doing. I just showed up and anytime I went to go do something outside of his will he let me know. Everything that's happened up to this moment was because this was God's doing. I just showed up and anytime I went to go do something outside of his will, he let me know. Right, because it was really hard, it was agonizing and it was just you know. So, stay the course, trust in the process, you know.

Speaker 2: 1:00:40

And so, father God, we just come before you in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Lord God, your people are hurting, lord God, and we're just asking for you to soothe them, to come before them. That these words on this podcast speak volumes into their past, their current situation, lord, and they start encouraging. Speak life into them, lord, father God, surround them by people that want to see them in a better place. Lord, father God, we are going to have to battle the wiles of the enemy. There was no promise ever that this was going to be an easy walk, but you've done that for us. You took the cross for us. May we be constantly be reminded of what took place that day when you shed your blood for us. We are so grateful for you, lord God. I pray for your people. I pray for healing hearts. Lord God, in Jesus' name we pray, amen. I pray for healing hearts, lord God, in Jesus' name we pray.

Speaker 1: 1:01:49

Amen. Well, Rob, thank you so much for sharing, for reaching out. How can people get a hold of you and what do you have coming up? Do you have anything locally that you're doing?

Speaker 2: 1:02:05

I do, actually, yeah, yeah. Well, so, rob at riseslinesorg that's my email, so I always encourage people. If you're struggling, need someone to vent, to talk to, you know I'll small event here in Colorado Springs where I'm going to, you know, um, get my book out there a little bit more into our community. Everything that I'm doing is is on my own Pretty much. I didn't hire anybody to do that.

Speaker 2: 1:02:42

Um, in may we're working on a mental health recovery tournament here, a softball tournament here in Colorado Springs. Um, we want to bring um people, the community together and and let others know there are people here to support you and if you're struggling, you have ears that are going to listen and people that want to pray over you or talk to you or you know whatever it is that you need in that moment, and we just get to use sport to do stuff like that. And then you know, I did recently drop God's Awning. It's on Amazon and you can always go on Amazon and check out that book and if you do get in and read it, I do encourage you to leave a review on on on how it uh impacted you. Um, because I know that the words in that book are going to lead to healing and hope and help.

Speaker 1: 1:03:40

Yes, Amen, and you know we don't ask for reviews just because we want to pump up ourselves. It actually helps get the word out there more.

Speaker 2: 1:03:48

Yeah, it helps with the algorithms of Amazon is what it really does. It's not because I need you to stroke my ego or pat me on the back. I do like the nice words though.

Speaker 1: 1:03:59

It is nice. I mean it does nice. I'm sure it's. It's a way to create that Right.

Speaker 2: 1:04:04

So, beautiful.

Speaker 1: 1:04:06

Well, thank you again, rob. I'm sure that you're going to bless so many with your testimony here today. I will add all of Rob's contact information to the show notes, a link to his book, any other information that he would like me to share and, again, please reach out to him if you want to chat or hear more about the book. I'm sure he's open to telling you more if you have questions. So thanks again, rob. I will be back with another Hope Unlocked episode next week, and thank you, rob, for being a brave voice.

Speaker 2: 1:04:38

Who's setting others free. Thank you, and I look forward to being back on again. We'll have you back for yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:04:55

All right, take care.