Unlocked & Unleashed: Megan Babcock’s Journey of Healing & Surrender

In this episode of Hope Unlocked, Kristin Kurtz sits down with Megan Babcock, a nurse coach, trauma coach, and advocate for healing and freedom. Megan shares her powerful journey from perfectionism and numbness to true freedom and joy. She opens up about overcoming trauma, surrendering to God’s plan, and learning to take every thought captive through Scripture. Megan highlights the power of community, vulnerability, and obedience, showing how facing life’s dark places leads to breakthrough. Her story is a testament to resilience, surrender, and the generational impact of saying “yes” to God.

Megan's contact info:

Website - www.itsyourstorytotell.com 

Chapters

• 0:16 Empowerment Through Nurse Coaching
• 11:14 Healing From Past Trauma
• 19:49 Discovering Healing Through Vulnerability
• 32:26 Exploring Healing Through Vulnerability and Support
• 42:19 Listening to the Holy Spirit's Guidance
• 57:21 Empowering Others Through Transformational Coaching

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:16

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm your host, kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching. I help and empower wildhearted and adventurous women of faith feeling caged and stuck, unlock their true purpose and potential, break free from limitations and thrive with confidence, courage and hope. If you're curious to learn more about coaching with me, head to newwingscoachingnet and be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together.

Speaker 2: 0:48

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me welcome Megan Batpichot to the show. I am just thrilled to have her on today. We just chatted for a little while A new connection through a friend named Julie. Thank you, julie, if you listen to this and I know that she's going to have so much goodness to share with you. She has quite a story and is on the other side bringing freedom to others.

Speaker 3: 1:21

So, megan, before we get into mother, I have been in the healthcare industry for 22 years as a nurse, and I've had lots of opportunities to work in all kinds of aspects of healthcare and I really feel like where I'm currently at as a nurse coach, a life coach, someone who can come alongside people going through hard and learn from it and really become who they were designed to be. Whatever that dream is, I want to help people really create a life they love, because that is what God wants for them and my life. There was a lot of hard and I didn't realize that I had trauma, and so I'm really passionate about helping people to understand how our thoughts and our bodies are whispering or sometimes screaming. That's where my body was at the time and in my emotions when I came to the end of myself, which is where God tends to meet us and so really want to encourage people who are in that really desperate, dark, overwhelmed place that there is hope, and then we can just get curious together about what that means. So I'm really looking forward to sharing my story and I hope that it helps someone who is in a really dark place to realize that where they're at is the start of something new if they allow God to work and direct them. And I believe that the Holy Spirit is inside of us and wants us to have freedom. It's just are we willing to allow him to speak to us and show us those areas so that we can can do the work that we need to do, um, and and as we do that, we will have a life of joy and fulfillment?

Speaker 3: 3:38

My life's not easier today. In a lot of ways. There's still a lot of hard, but I don't have the same overwhelm and darkness that comes with me because I know who I am in him and I have skills now to help me navigate that and be able to regulate my nervous system and get curious and find out. Okay, this is just an opportunity Like thank you, jesus, this is really painful and hard right now. So what do you want to teach me? And I feel like I learn and move through things a lot faster now because I'm willing to go there.

Speaker 2: 4:20

So good. Well, I have to ask a quick question before we continue on. What is a nurse coach?

Speaker 3: 4:29

So it's someone who has specialized training and being a coach and has a certification. But they're really looking to help people wherever they are in life. Uh, get to the root cause of what is keeping them from being unwell. You know, whether that's emotionally and mentally, whether that's physically and you've got chronic illness. I really believe the stress is kind of the root cause. And so we help people, wherever they're at, to get curious about what their body and mind is trying to reveal to them so that they can deal with it and then have freedom in that area.

Speaker 3: 5:20

So oftentimes people will come to me and say I've got high blood pressure and high cholesterol and I need to lose weight and I'm like, okay, well, this is going to sound really strange, but we're going to start getting curious about all the things that are around your behaviors because there's likely a reason you're overweight, because there's likely a reason You're overweight, like do you turn to food for comfort. And we start getting curious and really get to the place where we understand where did that behavior become your go-to for numbing or coping with a situation? Because likely there needs to be healing in that place or there were like false beliefs that were implanted that we need to say you know, I don't want to align with that anymore, because most people know what to do to be healthy. Like I know I need to eat different, exercise calorie in, calorie out, but it's not that simple, right. And so there's a reason behind that difficulty and we want to understand what the resistance is. So that's kind of like we sit at this really awesome place to be able to help people understand what's going on in their body, but really look deeper to understand.

Speaker 3: 6:44

Maybe there's something that is coming up from stress or trauma, things of the past, that you can work through. So it could be anything related to health. But maybe it's even that you just have resistance where you're like I want to create a new business, but I am procrastinating and I don't do the things that I know I need to do. I think of you know that scripture. Like I know what I need to do, but I do the things I don't want to do. It's like okay, well, that's a good place to start Like why are we not doing the things that we say we want in our life?

Speaker 2: 7:22

Yes, I love it. I love, I love the title nurse coach Cause. At first I thought, well, maybe she coaches nurses specifically um, like in the healthcare aspect. But I'm sure that you're doing that inadvertently as well.

Speaker 3: 7:36

I do actually have a bunch of nurse coaches, um, but I tend to coach them in business because I'm also an entrepreneur, um, I am a consultant, I invest in health, uh, tech startups and uh. So I have a lot of different hats that I've worn in my 22 years, which I'm so thankful that I went and became a nurse because it's given me so much opportunity, um, in my career, what I love.

Speaker 2: 8:08

You know, I'm also an entrepreneur and I've had people say, like you need to just do one thing or you need to have one niche and I'm multi-passionate, so I can't fit in a box. And it sounds like you're multi-passionate as well and don't fit in a box either.

Speaker 3: 8:24

It does make marketing interesting, I'll have to say that you know, um, I've had to get creative about it and kind of, I've got one website over here for this and I've got one website over here for this, because it is sometimes hard for people to understand, like, how could I work with you? Um, but if you're looking to overcome obstacles and you have resistance, I want to help you so that you can have whatever it is that you're dreaming of. I believe God puts dreams inside of us, and those dreams are like part of your DNA, of who you are programmed to be, and so anytime you have this longing or dream, it's like okay, well, let's figure out why you're not living that, because that's what I believe you were created for, and so it's just a matter of we are created in the image of God and we are limitless and we can do things that others might say are impossible. But what happens when you meet up against an obstacle? Do you turn from it, which is what I did for so many years, and when I turned from it I'm not going to look at it I kept doing the same thing over and over, hoping for different results.

Speaker 3: 9:43

We all can agree that's the definition of insanity. And I literally eventually, like nine years ago, felt absolutely crazy in my head and and so desperate of like I actually can't live in this head anymore. It's too chaotic, Even though on the outside I looked very put together, my kids look perfect put together. Everything I posted on Facebook was perfectly, you know, curated of all the happy things I was achieving in my job and I was absolutely miserable in my life. And it was in that place where I did get to the end of myself and I mean God and I have a funny relationship in the way he talks to me and he's like good girl, like I've been waiting for you to finally get to this point so that we can do something together. And I will say I'm a pretty strong and stubborn, which your greatest strengths can be your greatest weaknesses.

Speaker 2: 10:48

True, we have some similarities. So you had this moment where he's like good, you know, let's journey together. Like what did that look like for you? And was there something that, like there was a catalytic moment that had you step into that? You know, death to self.

Speaker 3: 11:10

Yeah, there were a couple. There was a lot going on at that moment. So I was in my second marriage. It was an abusive marriage marriage and I didn't want to admit that, you know, because I had run from one situation to the other and didn't do my work and got myself into this situation and I thought, okay, I got myself in this situation, I am going to make it right. Well, newsflflash, if you don't know this, if it's wrong, it's not easy to make right like um, and it takes two people. So you can want to make it right all you want, and if somebody else doesn't, uh, you're really stuck, um, and I was really stuck. There were.

Speaker 3: 12:06

I was so just emotionally overwhelmed and disassociated. I didn't even know like what way was up. I had severe migraines and I remember my son at the time was about sixth grade and I was needing him to stop his emotions, his big emotions, and his upset was making me feel inadequate. I'm a terrible mother. I have my kids in this situation and I silenced him by saying if you don't stop crying, I'm going to take your phone away. And it was in that moment that I just broke because I realized I had felt that way with my parents. I was never able to have my emotions and I'm an empath and very emotional, but I learned that that was not accepted and so I pretty much bottled everything inside of me around seven years old until I was like 37. And it was like there was no more room in that bottle, like the lid was, you know, exploding under pressure, and I knew how bad that felt as a child. And I saw that I was. I was somebody that I did not want my kids to have as a mother, and I cried out to God and I was just like I'm done, like I can't do this, like what do you want from me? And he's like I want to help you. You know, and I heard, you know, scripture came to mind.

Speaker 3: 14:18

I grew up in a Christian home, I grew up in church, I love worship, but I never thought I had trauma, I never acknowledged my emotions, so I just lived very numb. And when you're numb like that, you cannot hear the Holy Spirit very easily. And there were so many voices in my head that I didn't know. Is it my voice, is it someone else's voice? Is it, you know, my ex's voice? Is it the Holy Spirit? I have no idea, but these voices are crazy in my head.

Speaker 3: 14:59

And he said that you need to take every thought captive. That you need to take every thought captive. So 2 Corinthians 10, 5. And I was like, okay, cool, like do you know how many thoughts are in my head right now, like how am I even going to do that? And what do I do when I take it captive? So here's my thought, what am I going to do with it now? And he said I want you to measure it with the fruits of the spirit. So love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, all amazing things, none of which were in my head. And I was like okay, so we've determined that none of those thoughts are in my head. So now, what do I do? And he said that you will be transformed by the renewing of your mind Romans 12, 2. And what I needed to do was take the thought captive. Is it of God? If it's not of God, then I need you to replace it with truth from my word.

Speaker 3: 15:58

And so, as I started to take my thoughts captive and I started to understand, there were patterns that I was seeing, and I was going to the scripture and I was finding verses to reprogram my mind. Our brain is a computer, and so what's amazing about that is we can reprogram it. And what's also scary is that there's programming happening, whether you are conscious of it or not, and so I. In order to reprogram, you have to know what is in it. Excuse me, and so I went on this journey for a while and working through some. Excuse me, I'm so sorry. Um, walking pneumonia was not fun last week, but it's much better today, thank the lord.

Speaker 3: 16:57

But yeah do you want to grab a drink? I just took a drink of water. Yeah, that was good. Thank you, Um no worries.

Speaker 3: 17:04

But when, um, I started doing this work, I thought God's going to save my marriage and that's what I was praying for. And I was like you know, there's scripture that says if you pray for something that's in line with his word, like you'll get it. And I was like you know, there's scripture that says if you pray for something that's in line with his word, like you'll get it. And I was like, ok, marriage that's in line with your word. So you're going to work in a mighty way. And I kept doing my work and it didn't look like any of that was going to happen.

Speaker 3: 17:46

And I was coming home from a group called free and it's all about healing from your sexual past, and I had had sexual abuse and a rape in high school that I had never dealt with. I I actually thought like it was consequences, um, you know, for being in the wrong place. I wasn't obedient, I wasn't a place I shouldn't be, uh, and so I took on all of this responsibility of that. It's just like, well, you'll learn next time, won't you? Um, and so I never dealt with it. And I was in this group, free, healing from your Sexual Past, and I was driving home. It was late and it was the first time that I let God have it.

Speaker 3: 18:39

I was angry and growing up with not having emotions and feeling like you can never question God. God is omnipotent, he knows what he's doing. I thought that meant you just have to accept, like, what's happening in your life. Now we do have to accept it. I've become very aware that I have to accept it, but I don't have to be happy about it, and God can handle my emotions. He created our emotions and so when I was like God, I am praying for this and it's in line with your will, why are you not giving it to me? And I heard him say say, I am not abusive. And I was like, okay, what does that mean? And I love how he answers us, like if we ask him, he wants to answer yeah, like clear as day, right, that one it was so clear I mean I had I.

Speaker 3: 19:49

This was a journey where I was really starting to like have this conversation with God and it was like really cool because we were actually having a relationship where before it was just like God up here is something that you kind of idolize and try to obey and follow. And then here I am having a relationship, and it was so. I said what does that mean? And he said well, abuse is just taking someone's free will and making them do what you want them to do, and it can come in many different forms. And I was like oh, wow, okay, and that was so comforting to my heart. I finally was like seeing God all of a sudden in such a different light. It was like I had gone from this idle judgment I need to be a good, obedient daughter to having this conversation, in this relationship and seeing his kindness and how he is not forcing himself on me or on my husband at the time.

Speaker 2: 21:06

So in this realization he was lovingly sharing that he's not abusive. Knowing what we know about a little bit about your story, it sounds like you had those experiences that for most of us, if we've had those experiences, we sometimes transfer them to God, right?

Speaker 3: 21:29

So this was an awakening moment for you to realize like this is not the experience that we are going to have together freeing, because I think I felt very controlled in religion and even had some spiritual abuse in my first marriage and it was like God was like that is not how I intend relationships to be. And so, yes, I had put that on my relationship with God, unknowingly, but also so many other people in my life, you know, I was hypervigilant, always trying to figure out like, okay, what's this mean? What does that mean? Who's this? You know? How are they going to move? How do I react?

Speaker 3: 22:20

And and it was interesting because in his love and compassion, he once again showed me that I was abusive, bad or shame. In that moment which I had had so much shame, you know, in other like religious interactions that I was like Whoa. I am so thankful that that was revealed to me because he said you know, you being a codependent and a people pleaser and a perfectionist and someone who's trying to always make it look a certain way is really manipulation and it's not honest. And when you do that in relationship, you do that in relationship, you aren't allowing them to choose the authentic who you are. Can you say that?

Speaker 2: 23:35

again.

Speaker 3: 23:36

I don't know if I can say it again, but when you yeah, when you aren't showing up your authentic self and being, you know, honest with people around you, you're not allowing them to choose relationship with you because of who you are. You're trying to get them to have relationship with you because you meet their expectation, or you're giving them something the way they want it, and that is abusive is the way God showed it to me. Now, you know, test that within your spirit and you may not come to the same conclusion. But for me, what he was showing me is I was trying to get my husband to do what I thought was God's will, to get my husband to do what I thought was God's will, and I was wanting to do it my way, and I want you to go to counseling with me, and then I was always trying to make things a certain way to get a certain outcome.

Speaker 3: 24:39

Well, I was really no different. It looked different because my way of doing it looked a little bit more socially acceptable. It was like the pretty version, the collated version of manipulation and coercive control, in a way, you know, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. I was open to seeing that and allowing God to start working in me to help me understand why I had developed that programming, because that isn't his nature, it's not the fruits of the spirit and all of that. So what I was beginning to see is, all of these things that weren't pretty were the things that I needed to look at, instead of running from and trying to make it look like what it was not, so that I actually could have what it is I was dreaming of.

Speaker 2: 25:50

Wow, that's a whole word right there.

Speaker 3: 25:57

Yeah, we keep ourself.

Speaker 2: 25:58

There is no shame, there's no like condemnation, like you were in the middle of an experience of freedom and in going deeper with him right, it's like kind of what you talked were in the middle of an experience of freedom and in going deeper with him, right, it's like kind of what you talked about in the beginning, of going deeper with people to help them get to the root, in essence, of what's actually going on.

Speaker 3: 26:17

So this is what was happening yeah, and I think why it's so powerful when we do this.

Speaker 3: 26:24

You know, I was in a group of women doing this work that was allowing me to have this conversation with God. Right, it was not a conversation I had ever engaged in before. I had a victim mindset, where it's like life is hard and I guess this is just what I get and I'm gonna have to deal with it, and poor me. And what he was showing me was you are actually choosing this life, wow, but you have the power to choose different. And by being in a group of women talking about things that would never have been acceptable to talk about in the circles of church and these were women in the church that were doing this ministry, but it's not something we sit around and talk about, you know, from the pulpit or things like that, you know, which I think is unfortunate, and I think we're moving more and more towards being more open and vulnerable, because if we can't create that space of vulnerability and not having judgment and shame, we aren't able to do the work that God has us called to do.

Speaker 2: 27:48

So this group was outside the walls of the church.

Speaker 3: 27:52

It was a church group. We met in church on a Monday night, but it was a really small group. There were two leaders and I'm telling you, if I had known what I was signing up for, I probably would have never done it. And that is exactly what I needed, because it was a place where we shared so much darkness. Beautiful is by having people witness your darkness and your pain and loving you and not running from you or shaming you. But validating like that was so hard and what does God want to do in it? And it was just.

Speaker 3: 28:45

I had spent a lot of years in counseling and I'm not knocking counseling, because if it is working for you, that's beautiful and amazing, but if it is not, don't stick with it for as many years as I did, because, again, that's insanity. Like if you're not feeling that you're able to move through something and create something new Because I do believe God is the creator and we are creators Like we have that ability to speak new things in existence and to create something totally new, and if you are stuck, that is not from God.

Speaker 2: 29:24

Right, exactly that is not from God Right.

Speaker 3: 29:25

Exactly. And so how do you change your situation? Open up to somebody, find a new way of going about it and, and you know you may try counseling that might not work. You may try coaching that may not work, you know. You may sit with a girlfriend and that is the thing. But don't stick with something that's not working unless you just want to cause yourself more pain.

Speaker 3: 29:51

Me and gave me a new confidence because they didn't think I was icky and all of those awful things that I said about myself or that the enemy said about me or that my abuser said about me. And the thing about trauma and wounding is that it happens when you don't have support to be able to move through something. That is hard. But when you have someone who is witnessing your heart and being there and and comforting you, you can move through that and it becomes a scar versus a wound.

Speaker 3: 30:54

Yes, and so I just went into one group and then another group, um, and just saw such freedom and a change in my relationship with God in that moment that I shared with you. That really allowed me to see that we have the knowledge, through the Holy Spirit, inside of us, to heal anything, but we have to be willing to ask him the question that we're avoiding and that can be really scary, because I know when I was sitting in that really dark place I was avoiding it because I thought if I looked at it like I'm not going to get out of bed, thought if I looked at it like I'm not going to get out of bed I might want to kill myself.

Speaker 1: 31:54

I will never I can't be the mom that I want to be, so I've got to keep shoving this down.

Speaker 3: 31:56

Mm-hmm. That was creating for me my worst nightmare, and so if you are feeling like there's something in your life that is so hard and you feel like you can't look at it, it's likely the thing you need to look at, and find someone who can do it with you with you.

Speaker 2: 32:24

Yeah, you know. One of the things you know I was going to ask as well is did you, did you have support prior to that? Did you share your story with people prior to being parts of these groups? Because you know one of the greatest keys that I've learned along the way we don't tell everybody everything right. We need people in our corner who are safe who aren't going to be judging, they're going to lift you up right, Like the words that I prayed before we got started.

Speaker 2: 32:57

This word, bolster, came up. It will bolster you in your journey. Were you open to talking to people before that, or were you more closed off? Did you have friends that you ever shared your story with, or was it literally like you were? You had held on to this trauma and everything for all those years.

Speaker 3: 33:18

I had held on to it for all those years. Um, I didn't talk about it. I I didn't want to acknowledge it to myself because I knew if I actually acknowledged it, I couldn't stay in it. But I was scared of what I didn't know, like I knew this and so. But I knew if I had acknowledged the real situation I was in, I would be forced to make changes and I just didn't know how to do it. And I was very blessed. I think it's so wise that you brought that up, that it is important when you start to do your work.

Speaker 3: 34:06

I would suggest finding people who have gone on this journey, because well-intentioned people at church who haven't walked out. I believe they all have trauma, but they're, you know, walked through some hard things. They can unintentionally create more wounding and that's something that I realize now that I didn't understand. You know, even as I look back and I'm like, wow, my parents. You know they hurt me. They were doing the best they could, they love me the best they could. There was nothing that they did intentionally. And that's most people I mean. There are the people out there who have mental illness and things like that, but even them, honestly, like they just are dealing with their own wounding and they have no outlet for it and they're broken. And so, you know, I like to say hurt people, hurt people and heal people, heal people. And so when looking for someone, look for someone who shares your story. That's something that God really has shown me and the work that I do now that's so valuable is our stories are our testimony, and you know, my coaching practice and nonprofit and podcast is called it's your Story to Tell, and God gave me that name and I thought there's no way this URL is available. It was I trademarked it like God, you're so cool, but it was. What was so cool about it is it's your story to tell, is it's God's story to tell, it's Kristen's story to tell, it's Megan's story to tell. And when we sit with people who have gone on the journey and are ahead of us, they have such wisdom and you can feel safe with them because they're willing to share their story with you.

Speaker 3: 36:15

And there was an amazing woman who was in my church who recognized things in me without knowing, because of her own journey. So you have the spidey sense of like something's going on here and she kept trying to get me to connect and she wanted me to go to a Celebrate Recovery group. And I'm like, okay, I knew her story. She had alcoholism and a couple abortions and God had done amazing things in her life. But I was like I don't have those problems, you know. But she kept asking me and, as a good codependent and a people pleaser, I finally said yes because I thought I just say yes, she'll stop asking me, I can like mark it off my list of things to do. And so I went to the Celebrate Recovery group and again, it was one of those things and this was before I was in a small group which she led, but I went to this group and I had known then what I know now.

Speaker 3: 37:35

I probably would have definitely not gone because, uh, when you're new, they break you out and have you go into the new people's group where you tell what your struggle is, um, and like why you're there, and I'm like I don't have any problems, I'm here because someone keeps asking me to come and that was my pride. I can acknowledge that now. Like, okay, I've got pride issues here. So I go into the room and I think, okay, where in the room can I sit? That maybe it was a pretty big group. Maybe they'll time out and they won't get to me. So I kind of waited and tried to figure out where they're going to start the circle, start the circle.

Speaker 3: 38:31

And well, that was such a God thing because as I listened to each of these people's story and by the time it came to me I was broken, ugly, crying, and remember, I don't cry, I don't show emotions and I am a disaster, like snot rolling down my face, mess. And God broke me and showed me. You are sitting here thinking you don't have drugs, you don't have alcohol, you don't have sex, like you don't have an eating issue. You are so prideful and you have an issue of control and people pleasing and all of these things that are the exact same. The substance is different, but you're all numbing, you're all the same and I was just like you are so right, god, like I am looking at all of these things externally and they're doing the same thing.

Speaker 3: 39:32

I'm creating pain in my kids and my family and all of that because I'm not willing to deal with what has me hurt and I asked them forgiveness. And I asked them forgiveness and it was where my religious spirit and all of those things broke and allowed me to see things for truth. And, yeah, that was kind of where, you know, after the taking thoughts captive, that happened and that it was like God was just taking me on this little adventure, like you said, like a little adventure, like we're going to try this. You don't know what's going to happen here, but I do, and it's going to be good, even though it's going to be really hard. And I'm just, I'm so thankful one for Shelly and her persistence and her listening to what God was telling her to do and how he set me up for my healing and how my yes to do that, even though it was God will use any yes, even if it's a yes with a motivation that's purely, you know, selfish.

Speaker 2: 40:47

He can use all things, and I'm just so thankful that I finally stopped running. Well, I have to capture a couple of things. You said there was a couple instances, first of all with the group that you became part of, right, and then going to the Celebrate Recovery, you said for both instances you said I probably would have said no if I had actually known what this was about. Yeah, fully For sure. That translated even into your life. Now, like you know, you talk about the yes, the obedience and, um, you know, based on your you know story and obedience and surrender, like I'm, I'm imagining that that looks different now than it did back then. Is that right?

Speaker 3: 41:37

Totally, totally different. Like now, I'm like okay, show me, show me the wounding, show me the place. Like and that's why I'm so passionate about where is the resistance, where is the thing that you just can't do it, even though you want, want something different in your life, but you're not willing to do something. Like let's use that to get curious, um about it and allow the Holy spirit and I work with people who are believers and non-believers Um, I believe, by the time they're done, they're like okay, I believe, but um, we all. When Jesus left and left the Holy spirit, he didn't say I'm leaning the Holy spirit to those of you that are Christians, that you believe in me, like he left the Holy Spirit to those of you that are Christians that you believe in me. Like he left the Holy Spirit for all of us. So it is inside of us, it's part of our DNA, it's, it's our. We were created in his image, and so some people are like oh yeah, my gut told me that, my intuition, well, that was your Holy Spirit inside of you that you didn't know was helping you to make a different choice. And how many times have you not listened? Great, and it didn't turn out very good. So how do we start developing that?

Speaker 3: 43:05

And for me, that was how I learned to hear God's voice. It was like quiet. It was listening to my body, listening to my thoughts, and as I became more and more familiar with that, then I started hearing God's voice more of either an audible voice to me or a feeling that I just knew. These were the words that I just had a knowing, and now I feel like I can have an entire conversation with God. Where it's now okay, I'm feeling resistance here.

Speaker 3: 43:45

Can you reveal to me? And what's interesting and what I try to help my clients and the people that I work with do is ask the question and the first thing that comes to your mind start writing about it, because that's probably the Holy Spirit, that's probably the thing, and what happens is, if you don't start writing it, you start talking yourself out of it. No, I shouldn't feel that way because of this, that or that. You should is not? God wants to deal with what you do feel, so that we can get it in alignment with who you are in him and what is the purpose that he's calling you to.

Speaker 2: 44:35

About the resistance. Could you give an example of maybe something that would come up for you and how you like? Just an example, because maybe a listener is kind of like, well, what does she mean about you know, going after the resistance? So let's just say you know, today's Tuesday, megan's facing some resistance. What does that look like? What might be an example of some resistance? And then how do you process through it?

Speaker 3: 45:02

Yeah, well, god's been working with me on some really big surrenders excuse me lately and I am going through some hard things with one of my kids, and for about 21 months now, god has been saying surrender, god has been saying surrender and I'm like, okay, you know, even surrender to death, and using the story of Abraham and Isaac, and I was like that does not seem like a very motherly thing to do. I'm trying to, you know, make justifications why I should not do a certain thing, and those justifications, or another example would be God told me to stop drinking alcohol. I'm not an alcoholic, I would like wine, but God was telling me I want you to stop drinking alcohol. And I was like, well, how about I don't have it in my house? How about only when I go to dinner with my husband? And he's like that is not what I'm saying? And I had a lot of resistance to it and it took me a little while, months, before I responded to those things and where I said, okay, I will be obedient, and I want you to help me understand why you're asking me to do this. So when it came to, we'll use the alcohol, because that's just an easier one to explain.

Speaker 3: 46:37

When I finally said yes, my husband and I were getting ready to go on a trip to Europe and I was like, oh, but we have all these wine pairings and all this stuff. And he's like, well, you weren't obedient, so that's your problem. But I was like, okay, okay, I know I didn't listen, I didn't, but I was on the plane and we're in business class, so there was. You know, you have beverages that if you want. And I'm like praying like the whole way from Portland to Paris and I'm like I don't understand God, like take this away from me If, if you know, why am I struggling with this so hard? Cause I don't think I have an addiction issue. And, um, I was able, like I just had this like surrender that came over me. We land in Paris, my phone goes on and Facebook there's a message that said your decision to stop drinking alcohol is tied to your calling.

Speaker 2: 47:39

Oh girl.

Speaker 3: 47:40

And I was like, oh, wow, okay, I can be obedient like I'm a. Tell me why, help me to understand. And then it's easier for me to say yes, if I don't understand, I'm going to ask a lot of questions. I was that kid that you were like please do not ask another question.

Speaker 3: 47:59

But God is so kind in understanding our resistance to be obedient. He understands we have a human nature. That's why he came, he died and he's always been trying to repair and restore our relationship with him. His entire Bible is about redemption and ultimately he will have the final, you know, make the world the way it was intended at one point in time, when he returns. But in the meantime we get to work out our faith with fear and trembling, and I have a lot of fear and trembling. So resistance could be. I have a fear of something Like I can't do what God's calling me to do. For example, god told me to go and start my coaching practice and I was like I can't leave my job, I make too much money. God let me get laid off a few months later and said here's your severance. Now are you going to trust me? You can either be obedient or you can go find another job like how long ago was it?

Speaker 3: 49:08

uh, that was november of uh 23, so a little over two years now that was november of 21, I understand yeah, and so it's like those little moments where you're like I don't want to do it or I'm upset, I have sad feelings, like all of those things are just things to take notice of and ask the Lord what does he want to show me about this? Instead of I'm not going to, I'm going to go have a glass of wine, and I thought it was really not a problem, but I wasn't going to. Um, I'm going to go have a glass of wine, and I thought it was really not a problem. Um, but I wasn't going to the Lord with it. I was wanting to Netflix and chill and have a glass of wine, but he had struggles with alcohol and marijuana and we do a really great podcast together.

Speaker 3: 50:17

And my second podcast episode, which was so cool to do with my son and talk about how my trauma impacted him but and you know, he had gone to a therapeutic boarding school. He came out, he wasn't drinking all the time, but he was drinking and after I said I wasn't going to drink anymore, like a few months later, he came to me and said hey, mom, I decided I'm not going to drink. I was just like God. You are so cool Because, like he has a dream and a vision. He has an excavation company, but he wants to help young men who were lost and school wasn't the fit, and all of these things that God has on his calling on his life. And if I hadn't been obedient, what would that have translated into his life? Because our choices don't just impact us.

Speaker 2: 51:09

Yeah, I like to say, your yes has generational implications, totally.

Speaker 3: 51:15

Yeah, I, I have seen um, and by my saying I'm going to break this generational cycle of codependency and running from our emotions and not living in reality. I am now seeing that one in the work that I do and in my own family and kids to like. There's points where, even now, like being able to minister to other people who are adults in my church when I was a kid, and it's so amazing how, when you start doing your work, like the impact that it has on the world and sometimes you don't even realize that there's like this real effect, right.

Speaker 3: 52:08

So true, so true. There's been so many times where someone said something to me that I was like oh wow, I didn't even know that, you know, or?

Speaker 2: 52:19

you know right, you're walking it out, out and you don't always realize those implications until you actually hear on the other side like your son. That's incredible.

Speaker 3: 52:41

Incredible. Yeah, I'm so thankful for story now because my story and what I learned along the way now allows me to have a compassion and an understanding of people in really hard places making choices that don't make sense to a lot of us who are looking at it from the outside, thinking why don't you see it? Well, they don't see it because they're blinded by what they're going through. And so by being able to know that and to see how people recognizing that brokenness in me and coming alongside of me, how that transformed my life and so many lives after it, I'm just so, so thankful. Like God is so good and there is not a mess that he can't put back together more beautiful than you ever imagined. And you don't know, when you say yes to doing this work, how it's going to change so many other people's lives, and I have got to witness that with my oldest, who's 22 and where he's going in his life from where it was to now. And I could have sat around and I did for a long time. I felt guilt and shame and wow, he's going through this because of all the things that I did. Well, guess what the enemy wants to use your shame to keep you from becoming all God wants for you, because if he can steal your identity in God and make you feel like you're less than and you're not confident and you're not standing in who, your power as a daughter or son of God, he won, he won. And I'm like, no, I'm taking back all that has been stolen from me and God is in the work of redeeming. And now I'm like, oh, let's go.

Speaker 3: 55:00

Spiritual warfare. Like, oh, I, you know, I grew up. I had no idea what spiritual warfare was. Like. I'm like, wow, that's a tool that everybody should be learning. Because, um, wow, that has just really changed my life and empowered me. God wants to empower you with everything that he has, every gift, whether it's you know that, speaking in tongues and prophecy, and all of these things he wants you to have so that you can go and become all that he created you to be. But you have to be open. He doesn't abuse you. He doesn't make you choose him. He doesn't make you choose that life of joy and fulfillment. But if you're not living the life you want, there's probably a choice you need to make.

Speaker 2: 55:49

This is so amazing. I just love your heart and you know the fact that you are going back and helping people right. One of my favorite movies is Harriet, and she was released from slavery and could have stayed where she was released to, but she went back and risked her life to free others, and I just love hearing, especially other women that I talked to who are willing to go back and do the work, because it isn't easy, right.

Speaker 3: 56:21

No, no, it's definitely hard and it's important. You know, I know you were talking and you know having intercessors and people around you who you stay accountable to and that are are praying for you because you are going. I mean, I feel like sometimes I am going hand to hand combat with the enemy for someone's soul and I'm so thankful that I get to do that work, but I also have to be aware of how risky that work is and how do I make sure that I don't let it weigh me down, Because it's not my work. God has to show up and do it in and through me. And and I really appreciate you sharing that and saying you know that because I remember back in around 2007, um, I was in a Beth Moore Bible study get out of that pit and at that point, my pit, I was decorating it.

Speaker 3: 57:21

Like she talks about how you're making your pit like such a comfy home. Well, that was me and, um, in that God spoke to me. That was it's probably one of the only times that I can remember with such clarity that, like, you will be going into the darkness and snatching people women specifically out and into the light, and I was like, okay, no way, there is no. Like I have no desire to do that, like I'm just trying to keep this pit dusted.

Speaker 3: 57:56

Like right, and he and so here I am, um fulfilling that prophetic word that he spoke over me. And it was a journey, for sure, and it didn't happen overnight, and I'm still every day on it, days of really some areas in my own life that he's like I need you to take this to a new level and pointing out some of the areas where I have, where I'm trying to fight my own battle, and and and that's not what he says he says vengeance is mine, says the Lord, and I'm like but I want vengeance, you know, like like I want to see this person pay for what they've done. And he's like yeah, that's an issue with your heart. And I'm like ah, okay, but I'm much more open to his correction now because I know that it leads to goodness.

Speaker 2: 59:00

Freedom, right, like you get freer and then you help others get freer in your journey and leveling up and you get more keys and tools and everything along the way, right, it's so interesting you'd say that um, it was probably about five years ago. He was showing me that I was a pit puller. Yeah, go back and pull people out of the pit. Come on, people, let's go. You can't stay there anymore, you know, so I love that. Like we have so many cool similarities. It's pretty amazing.

Speaker 3: 59:31

Well, you're doing that every time you work with a client, but every podcast that you like. When you said that, I'm like thinking back to all the titles that I looked at in your podcast. They are all people that you are showing what's possible about getting out of the pit. We're pulling you out of the pit, you know, and so you are definitely fulfilling your calling and it's so beautiful because you're giving this space for people to be able to share their transformation and by sharing different stories, one person is going to hear that and say, oh, my gosh, she's saying my story, like that's my life, and then you're like, oh, but look at the life she lives now and that hope and inspiration is what will fuel their ability to do that hard work.

Speaker 2: 1:00:29

So thank you for what you're doing you know it's, it's this my heart is to help people keep going and really, similar to you, to like step into that um life, that life and life abundant, right, Cause we're both coaches. Life. Yeah, oh, you know, um, I wanted to just mention to. So at the end of every podcast, I um first of all. Well, first of all, share, share again the name of your podcast, Cause I want to have people hear your voice and your um podcast as well.

Speaker 3: 1:01:03

It's your story to tell. And you're on all the places all the places my website is it's your story to tellcom you can get to. I have multiple coaches on there because we share our stories and believe that, like there's going to be somebody that you can find Julie's actually one of the coaches on my platform as well, with alongside of me, so love that. But um, and then, yes, you can find me on social media and anywhere you like to listen to podcasts.

Speaker 2: 1:01:35

And I'll have all of her contact information in the show notes so you can reach out, um, but at the end of every podcast I, as I mentioned in the beginning, um, the Lord called me to do this for the one, so if you could get the one in your mind, is there anything else that you'd like to say to? Probably a her or him, and then would you pray over the audience today? Yes, yes.

Speaker 3: 1:02:02

Yes, lord, god, you know the person that's hearing this story and the testimony of what's possible.

Speaker 3: 1:02:30

And you see her heart, god, and you know her heart is feeling shattered in so many pieces. I just pray that you would come alongside her in such warmth and comfort and peace that she would feel so safe there with her broken pieces and that she would ask you, god, what do I do next? And that her ears would be open and that she would be willing to hear those words from you and begin to just take the next step. You were such a good God. You will never give us more than we can handle. And so just take her hand, lead her, bring someone like Shelly for me, who sees her even in her hiding and is willing to just come alongside and love her and stick by and invite her in to transformation, even when she's in hiding. Thank you, god, for the work that you're doing through this podcast, through my podcast, through so many women who are being willing to be vulnerable and share their stories so that people can be set free from shame. So, god, I just pray protection over this woman that's sitting there with her broken heart and that shame would have no inlet into her life, into her mind, that she would be able to take her thoughts captive, that she would be able to place them under submission of who you are and who she was created to be, god, that she would begin to transform her mind by reprogramming it with truth of who she is. And you created her to be beautiful and strong and fulfilled with all of the fruits of the Spirit. So, lord, god, I just pray an abundance of showering her with the fruits of the Spirit that will allow her to continue on this journey.

Speaker 3: 1:04:30

If she's feeling scared, god, I just pray that she would reach out to someone like Kristen or myself and that she would let us come alongside of and just be with her. That she would be known, that she would feel loved, accepted. God, we believe that you do miracles. Every day. I'm a miracle, kristen's a miracle, all of the guests that have been on this show are miracles that you have worked and we just believe that you are going to do a miracle for the one who's listening, who's crying out and ready for a heart change. Amen.

Speaker 2: 1:05:13

Megan, thank you. I would love to have you on again sometime soon. I know that there's more coming for you as well. I believe it's an honor. Yeah Well, I'm going to close with the Hope Unlocked anchoring verse. It's may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace and believing so that, by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope, and that's Romans 15, 13. So thank you, megan, for being a brave voice who's setting others free, and I'll be back with another episode next week. Thank you, listeners.