You Have to Know: Melanie Cox on Miracles, Identity, and the Power of a Faith-Filled Yes

On this Hope Unlocked episode, Kristin Kurtz welcomes CEO and author Melanie Cox to talk bold faith, identity in Christ, and saying yes to God. Melanie shares miracles—from infertility to five children, a wildfire rescue, and business decisions led by prayer—plus the heart behind her new book “You Have to Know.” We unpack overcoming anxiety, lies of the enemy, and stepping from success to Kingdom purpose and why your identity comes before your assignment.

Melanie's contact info:

Instagram

Facebook

Melanie's Book:

You Have to Know: What I've Lived. What He's Shown.  What You Need to Know

🎙️Hope Unlocked Listener Exclusive! Feeling stirred but not sure what to do next? Book a 45-minute Holy Spirit-led 1:1 coaching session w/ Hope Unlocked host Kristin Kurtz, founder of New Wings Coaching. This powerful conversation will help you move from stirred to activated—with peace, clarity, & a Spirit-led next step. Book your call HERE now–special pricing to listeners!

Chapters

• 0:16 Welcome And Guest Introduction
• 1:22 Melanie’s Background And Health Wake-Up
• 2:43 Calling Work Ministry In Every Role
• 4:21 Faith In The Workplace And Pushback
• 4:49 The Ocean Property “No” From God
• 7:06 Childhood Pain And Family Salvation
• 10:31 Infertility, Identity, And A Miracle Birth
• 13:18 Knowing God As Father And Personal
• 15:07 Encouragement For Those Still Waiting
• 16:06 Trusting God In A Wildfire
• 19:25 Identity Through Trials And Deliverance
• 22:09 Writing “You Have To Know”
• 24:57 Bold Women, Social Lies, And Authority
• 29:23 The Kylie Story And God-Given Identity
• 35:03 Book Release, Where To Find It, Next Steps
• 40:40 Final Encouragement, Prayer, And Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:16

Welcome to the Hope Unlock Podcast. I'm your host, Kristen Kurtz, and I'm also the founder of New Wings Coaching. I help and empower wild-hearted and adventurous women of faith feeling caged and stuck, unlock their true purpose and potential, break free from limitations, and thrive with confidence, courage, and hope. If you're curious to learn more about coaching with me, head to NewWingsCoaching.net and be sure to explore the show notes for ways to connect with me further. Get ready to dive in as we uncover empowering keys and insights in this episode. So tune in and let's unlock hope together. Welcome to the Hope Unlocked Podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me welcome Melanie Cox to the show. I'm so excited to have her here today. She is a mutual connection of our friend Julie. So I'm excited that she connected us. I know that she's going to have so much. I just keep hearing like fire to share with us today. She was quite a story. We had a moment to talk before we got started here with the recording. So Melanie, would you be open to just sharing a little bit about you before we get started?

SPEAKER_02: 1:22

Yeah. I'm a mom of five, first and foremost, and a wife of 30 years. And I could just stop there and be like, that's a life. That's a that's a good life. I'm a CEO of two companies and I'm a partner to the largest drywall manufacturer in the country. And recently, maybe about a year ago or three years ago, I had some bath health news. So I didn't think I was gonna live very long. And about a year ago, I just kind of quit work and I've kind of given my life to ministry because I just want to serve God. And I wrote the book when I had health news because I really wanted my kids to know God. And I named it you have to know because I started chapter on my kids. You have to know if you're anxiety, you have to know if you're stuck, you have to know if you're if you're confused, if you're heartbroken, that this is where God wants to move you forward and to see the glory of God, to who God is, and to ultimately end up in heaven so I can spend eternity with you.

SPEAKER_00: 2:17

So beautiful. I mean, I know you've got a story before this, right? Um, so you've been a CEO, you've been a business owner, you've done all the things that I'm imagining you've had a lot of success in that realm, right? Um, tell us a little bit about that process of moving from that realm to ministry. I can't imagine it was like just tell us about that. Um, I know some people might be like, how does that work?

SPEAKER_02: 2:43

Um You know, I came to a realization that whatever you're doing in life, if if you are a teacher, you're in ministry. If you are a business owner, you're in ministry. If you are a mom who makes little peanut butter jelly sandwiches, you're in ministry. And all of a sudden it starts switching from what I didn't realize the epiphany that I had was wait a second, I'm not a CEO, I'm not a business owner. My whole life has really just been a platform for his purpose. And and it starts to switch your mind when you think of what is important and what your ultimate goal is. And you have to start switching your mind to say, no, your ultimate goal has to be about furthering the kingdom of God. And it has to be about moving other people to the needle because our life is a blip. And when I get to heaven and God says, Did you know me? Ah, yes, God, I knew you. Then what did you do with it? Yeah. So it was a real easy transition when I realized what was truly important in life. It's not about the things and the accolades and the success. It's about moving the needle to the kingdom.

SPEAKER_00: 3:41

Yeah. Well, what did that look like bringing bringing God into the workplace?

SPEAKER_02: 3:47

Um, I'm very open about my faith. I've got, man, a lot of stories and a lot of history. So I never have not brought God into the workplace.

SPEAKER_04: 3:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 3:55

You know, even when people are not Christians, it's like, you know, let's just pray about this. And it's kind of like, well, do we have to? And I'm like, yeah, we do. Or let's see what God thinks about that. And it's like, okay, but let me just tell you what the attorney says first. And I'm like, I don't care what the attorney says. I don't hear what I want to hear what the ultimate man, you've never seen a court case tried, you know, until Jesus is your attorney. So I'm gonna ask, I'm gonna ask that attorney because he doesn't lose. Oh, I love it. So I've always been very, very vocal.

SPEAKER_00: 4:19

So you you've always been that way. Always. Always. I love it. I mean, have you ever had any like pushback on that? Oh, tons. Tons. Yeah, tell us the story and how you overcame that.

SPEAKER_02: 4:34

Well, one I love because I ended up saving my realtor, is one of the companies we do is we take uh high-end houses and we flip them. And I worked on this deal, it was on the ocean for months and months and months, and no one could believe that it'll got it was it was set to be so lucrative. And we squirreled away the cash for it, and I walked the property, and in my spirit, God said, Did you pray about it? And I'm like, Well, no, but God, I did a really good job on my own. Like, you're welcome. I gave you the day off. Did you pray about it? I gave you the day off. Yeah, okay, I'll pray about it. So I take my fingers and I start praying over the property. Father God, if this is from you, no, Father God, what am I talking about? Thank you that this is from you. This is this is fantastic, and we're gonna do so great. And of course, I'm gonna give you 10% of it. And I heard God say, No, what do you mean, no, God? What? Okay, thank you, God. This is this is gonna be so lucrative. We're so excited. Okay, I was greedy, I was greedy. I'm gonna give you 20% of it. God says no. And uh, so I say, okay, God, that's a clear no. So would you do this for me? And I and God, I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be disobedient. But if there's something that is a real no, can the property line be off? And we get the survey back a couple of days later, and there's a little removable fence, like you know, the you can buy them at Home Depot and you can pull them out in four seconds. Yeah, and maybe about a half of an inch was on the property line. And I pulled out of escrow and no one could believe it. And I went and I personally called everyone. I said, I'm sorry. And I know that this is gonna sound crazy, but I prayed about it and God said no. And I need to be in obedience to his word because ultimately, if it's a no, then what God has on the other side of that no is is a hundred times better. And people are like, that's for anybody. Yeah, that's a you know what? That absolutely that is for anyone. Your nose, your nose are not dead ends, your nose are are detours into something greater.

SPEAKER_03: 6:20

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02: 6:21

And uh, so we pull out of escrow and I just I called everyone, I just want to witness to them. And about three weeks later, the neighbor had gone to Europe and their hose broke and it had saturated the side of that hillside in the ocean, and the whole hillside collapsed. And now we needed a three million dollar retaining wall, but the coastal commission's not giving retaining walls, so that house is currently condemned. What? Oh my god. So then I gotta go back to everyone and I'll be like, like I said, when God says no, it's because there's a re don't put your finger in the light socket.

SPEAKER_00: 6:54

Exactly. What a measure of protection, though, right?

SPEAKER_02: 6:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 6:58

And honoring, right? Wow. So okay, back us up a little bit. You you're you're your CEO, you're in business, you're unafraid to be like bold and audacious, where you're just gonna say, tell us more about your faith journey. Did you like grow up in church? What did that look like for you? Were you saved at a later age? I I feel like I want to hear your story because you you're bold. And not everybody is willing to be bold. And that's one of my things. I'm like, we gotta be more bold. So give us a little bit more of your history if you're open to that.

SPEAKER_02: 7:33

Yeah, I pray for people at grocery stores. I'm like, Do you know Jesus? I gotta sh, I gotta share something with you.

SPEAKER_00: 7:40

My kids back in the day, they'd be like, Mom, please don't meet anybody new today.

SPEAKER_02: 7:44

Yeah, it will be exactly yeah, yeah. Um, I I have a crazy backstory. So my grandmother was a white witch and my grandfather was a Freemason, and they horribly abused my mom. And I spent most of my life trying to keep her from committing suicide.

SPEAKER_03: 7:58

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02: 7:59

In about eighth grade, it was so much responsibility that I tried to take my own life, and now I'm in the same nut house as my mother. And um, we didn't know God. And my brother accidentally, when he turned 16, killed his best friend. He was doing donuts in a VW bug, and it was a rainy day, and he flipped it over, hit a tree, and that tree embedded in his best friend's leg, and he tried to pull him out of the car and pull him out of the car, and it caught on fire. And then he had to sit there and watch him burn to death.

SPEAKER_00: 8:28

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02: 8:30

And we go to the funeral, and the mom, our family's distraught, and their mom, their whole family was at peace. And she comes up and she hugs Kurt and she said, You know, Kurt, you owe my son an apology. And Kurt was just sobbing. And she said, But Kurt, he knew Jesus. So if you want to apologize, go find God and go say sorry to him in heaven. Oh, we're gonna see him again. He's not gone. So Kurt goes to Africa and he comes back and he starts saving the whole family. And we're like, I can't even hear about this guy, Jesus, again, Kurt. Seriously, I don't even care. And he'd be like, wait, wait, wait, I want to read you something in Romans. And I'm like, I don't even care. I don't even like it in history, and I don't want to hear it in my own. Go away. And uh relentlessly, relentlessly, and he saved my parents and then one after another. And I knew the power of God. My brother went on to start the vineyard church um with Lonnie Frisbee. They they did the if anyone ever saw Jesus Revolution, my brother was kind of a part of that in real time.

SPEAKER_00: 9:24

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_02: 9:25

And um, he was he would come home with these crazy, like, there was someone who was demon possessed, and I saved this person, and you know, we're with the homeless. And I, it was just such a wild concept. I'm like, you're just it's just your like you don't want to say he's a nut job, but man, he's such a nut job, you know. And I'm like, that's people don't float, Kurt. Like, I don't know, that just does not happen. And uh, so I left being married, knowing who God was, but not knowing the heart of the father. And I got married, and because of what I got through for a childhood, I really wanted babies. And I'm like, I can picture tucking them in and little hot cocoa and bullshere. And and unfortunately, kids weren't for us. And in year three, I got so depressed, I put myself to bed. I thought, you know, it's just not for me. And every day my husband would come home and he'd say, 'Melanie, if you only knew that God loved you and if you would only feel the sun on your face today, and you're enough.' And I I couldn't grasp the identity of who my husband saw me to be and who God saw me to be.

SPEAKER_04: 10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 10:26

And after a year, I picked up a Bible and I said, God, if you're really a God, if if it's true, then you need to speak to me right now. And I opened it up and it said, the mornings, it said, the night has been long, but morning is coming. And I just remember weeping, going, God, I think that's for me. And then I started opening the Bible, and everyone who couldn't have a baby, I said, Father God, if you did it for Hannah, would you do it for Melanie? And and oh, there's Sarah. Look how you showed up for her. But but what about Melanie? Do you see me that much? And Rachel and and all the women. And when I got done reading, every woman who couldn't have a baby. And wait, let me backtrack that I started in a heart of gratitude. And I said, God, it's okay that you won't do it for me. You've given me enough. You gave me a husband that should have left. You gave me a house and a and and a and a dog and a life. And thank you, Father God. My life is so, so good. But but if it is in your will, Father God, would you do it for Melanie? This woman comes up to me at church and she says, God's heard your prayer and you have a baby boy, and it's a gift from the Lord.

SPEAKER_03: 11:26

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02: 11:27

And I was pregnant with my little will and the doctors, you can't carry the baby. And I just remember thinking, I'd look at him and I'd be like, How lucky are you that you're about ready to see a miracle of God?

SPEAKER_04: 11:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 11:37

You know, Melanie, you're losing the baby at six months. Melanie, I'm sorry, you're losing the baby. My placenta ripped out. And I said, Oh, how lucky are you that you're about ready to see a miracle of God? Because God loves Melanie. And I went to the end and they called him dead when I burnt them. We lost him in the birth canal. And um, you know, I'm sorry you lost the baby. How lucky are you that you're about ready to see a miracle of God? Because the one thing I know is that God loves Melanie. And that baby popped out, and it was the ugliest baby you ever saw. It looked like a panel pill. Squish that thing, just almost literally, I think I squished him to death, and the Holy Spirit brought him back.

SPEAKER_03: 12:11

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02: 12:11

It's been a trajectory for my whole life to say, don't tell me who my God is. My God 2,000 years ago is the God that I serve today. Don't tell me what God can and cannot do. And don't tell me that my God doesn't come from the throne room of God who put on flesh to come down to earth because he wants to come and see about me. That's that's the God I serve.

SPEAKER_00: 12:35

You guys, are you guys listening? In the back. Please listen. Oh my word. You know, that's that's so powerful. I I actually kind of walked through similar. I got saved when I was 25 from addiction and immediately had two miscarriages and was told I couldn't have kids. And I basically said, Watch me. Yeah. Watch me. And they're miracles. I have two uh 17 and 20-year-old boys who are thriving. I almost lost some a couple times, but they're here. God, God does miracles, and I love how you're like, watch this miracle. Yeah. Like you were just standing on that. And you didn't waver, did you?

SPEAKER_02: 13:15

No, never once. And I haven't wavered since. There's a moment that I would hope for everyone who listens that you know how precious and beloved by God you are. That so many times people see God as this big, omnipotent, and he is that, of course, in heaven, all knowing. He's he's the one that holds the sun in place until the moon replaces it at night. And that the axis spins at just the right speed to sustain life for us. And he is that God, but he's also the God that's in your morning cup of coffee, that cares about every little thing that you care about. You're his children. If you have kids and you know how much you love your kid, well, man, that's the love the Father has for you. Not on a large scale, on a personal one-on-one level. And wouldn't you do anything to make your kids happy? Wouldn't you do anything to see them through something? Don't you always see them? You always worry, you always care, you always love. It's never ending. And that's the relationship that God wants to have with everyone. It's just the problem is we don't choose that. We don't believe it. It's it's it's not God, it's us.

SPEAKER_00: 14:16

Yes, yes. Thank you for like speaking that over the listeners because you know, I I I don't doubt there might be somebody listening in today that hasn't placed their faith in Christ. And um, you know, back in my day, I too, I was just like, I didn't want to hear it like you. I didn't I didn't want to hear anything about God, I didn't want to hear anything. And now I look back and I'm just like, He literally saved me. And I know he saved you too. How how old is your firstborn?

SPEAKER_02: 14:45

Uh little Will is 26.

SPEAKER_00: 14:47

26, and he's thriving.

SPEAKER_02: 14:49

Um, yeah, he's a firefighter, he loves Jesus. You know, he's just all my kids are fantastic.

SPEAKER_00: 14:57

Oh yeah, you said you had five, so you guys check that. She's told she couldn't have kids and has five, which represents grace, right?

SPEAKER_02: 15:07

Yeah. And and it's just not have kids. I mean, uh, we mortgaged our house, we did all the all the in vitro, all the gift, all the zip, like everything you could possibly imagine. And I'm gonna tell you something that if you are struggling with a health issue, a barrenness, a singleness, a loneliness, a a lack of, that the world can never do with what one second God can do with your life. So I don't care what you're trying, if it's not working out, if it's not moving, if if you're still stuck in that, then can I suggest you put it in the hands of a multiplying God? Take it out of your hands and put it, put it in the hands of God.

SPEAKER_00: 15:44

Yeah. Amen. Have you had a moment like that recently where you've had to give it over and maybe you've tried to hold on to something too tight?

SPEAKER_02: 15:54

You know, um I well, I have a lot of those moments, right? That's just that's just human nature. Like, God, are you here? Um, I had that with the book release I told you. And um, the other thing I had it with was we had a fire at our ranch and we were in an animal rescue. Oh, and I I prayed over it and I had all these powerful I knew God, and I I printed out my property and I put a red line and marker, and I started saying the the hedge of thorns and the blood of Jesus, you will not pass. Fire, you will not pass. I bind the fire from passing into my land. And for 24 hours, it it's the largest fire in California. It burnt hundreds of thousands of acres, but it's it stayed right at my little line and I couldn't believe it. And I'd see fire watch and I'd be like, Oh my gosh, God, you're so good. Thank you, God, thank you, God. And then I went to bed and I woke up in the morning to see that it had not only crossed my line, but it burnt through 80% of my property.

SPEAKER_00: 16:48

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02: 16:49

And I looked through at where 140 animal rescues were, it was all red. And I thought, I and I knew that if they could outrun the fire, they would come to a pen where it was locked. And even if they could outrun the fire, they'd be stuck. And I just started sobbing and I called the fire captain. I said, please, you you have to go and try to rescue what you can rescue.

SPEAKER_03: 17:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 17:10

He said, No, we're we're saving homes and people. We can't save your animals. And and uh I just started crying and I heard God say, Will you trust me even in the middle of the fire? Will will you trust me even though you don't see it? Will you believe that I am who I say I am? Will you believe I am God? Will you believe I am good? Will you believe that I see you? And and I said, Yes, Lord. So he said, then pray for the captain. And I said, Thank you, God, for for Captain Corey Rose and you know, keep him safe and thank you that he has to make this tough decision. And and I honor him in his decision, even if it breaks my heart. And I just start praying over him, praying over him. And he says, you know, I'm gonna go to your ranch and I'm gonna see it for myself. So he takes all the fire crew out there, and um, the fire hadn't reached the animals and and everything was released. And and I was on FaceTime and he's like, Well, how many cattle do you have? And I'm like, like 40, 40. He's like, one, two, three, four, five. How many horse rescues? Uh, out of like 22, one, two, three. And and they started running up the creek where the fire had engulfed them, but they were safe in the water. Oh my God. So the fire had not come into the water, and it was like herds, it was like, it was like Noah's Ark. It was like the cattle came through, and then the sheep, and then the goats, and then the llamas, and then the, you know, and then the horses, and then the wolf, and it's like all of these animals that I had rescued, the donkeys, and just start running up one after one after one. And and I was just like, you know, I guess that goes with it with it's like you don't see what God's doing, and and you're just feeling like, God, I'm I'm getting burnt to death. Like this hurts my heart so bad. And but where are you, God? Why are why didn't you show up? You you said you said that you would show up. Your Bible says it, your word says it. And it's like, you know, sometimes we have to do the the believing and the the declaring before God can do his work, you know. We got to do ours with our faith, and then God's free to do his. But he saved everything. He even saved the fire burnt around and through every structure, but none of my structures were burnt. It burnt through my swing set, but the plastic on my swing still stood. I have a picture of like a 200-year oak tree burning beside my little plastic swing set, and it's swinging in the breeze, not even touched.

SPEAKER_00: 19:21

You could make a whole movie about this. I mean, oh my goodness. Like that is such a miracle. And where's where are you located then?

SPEAKER_02: 19:30

I'm in Dana Point, but our ranch is in Santa Barbara. And that was the frustrating thing for me because it's three hours from where I live. It's a it's a big animal rescue, and I and they close the freeways down. So even if I could get there to try to rescue them, I couldn't cross the freeway. They they barred it.

SPEAKER_00: 19:43

Oh my gosh. Wow. Thank you for sharing the story. I just really feel like many people are walking. I talk to a lot of people, and and many people are walking through challenges right now. It there seems to be, you know, whether there's, you know, I I won't get into people's stories, but um, you know, there is a measure of many of us being taken to new levels of faith. And sometimes it requires us walking through the fire, literally.

SPEAKER_02: 20:49

Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_00: 20:50

Literally.

SPEAKER_02: 20:51

Yeah, you gotta know if God put you in a wilderness, he already has a path out for you. Say that again. I said, if the Lord has put you in the wilderness, then he's already made a path out for you. But we sometimes get stuck in our wilderness because we can only see the bushes and we can't walk and we're stuck. Well, God's like, but would you give it to me? Would you trust it to me? Would you surrender it to me?

SPEAKER_03: 21:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 21:13

Because man, if you did, I would grow you, I would stretch you, I would fortify you, I would build you, and then I'd I'd bring you out.

SPEAKER_00: 21:21

Yeah. Thank you for saying that. So you mentioned your book. You have a book that released recently, which I cannot wait for you to share more about. What did that look like for you? I I call it a book, baby. So you just had a book birthday. Congratulations. Thank you. Um, what what started this process? I I'm guessing there was a moment where, like, are you naturally a writer? Are you did you ever think you'd write a book? Tell us more about this process.

SPEAKER_02: 21:49

I had a couple words from people say, You're gonna write a book. And I thought, I don't think I am. And uh then I tried to write a book years ago, and it was like, there I was, and I was little, and you know, and I my mom was committing suicide again, you know, and it was just like this small little violin, and I myself couldn't even read it. I'm like, this is so depressing, and I'm like, I'm not supposed to be writing a book. And then when I got the health news, uh, I wrote these very true moments of like, kids, the world's gonna tell you it. Like, I wrote a chapter to my daughter's my favorite chapter in the book, um, about one of my little little girls, and it was something that she did that was absolutely so crazy and how her father responded to it. And I said, Little girls, the world's gonna tell you you're not enough, you're not smart enough, you're not good enough, you're not talented. That is what the world will tell you. And I said, But you if you could see yourself through your father's eyes and who your father is and who he called you to be. And it was this truth that I felt they had to know. And I started every chapter off with like, kids, you have to know because you know, I think I'm gonna be dead in maybe a year or two. That, you know, they I had thyroid cancer and and they didn't know how that was gonna go. And um, and so it was these real biblical truths. So the book was easy because it was a love letter to my children. It wasn't a book for someone to read. It was like you have to know if you are dealing with anxiety, if you feel stuck, if you feel less than all of these things that they're gonna deal with in life. If you are, if you are dealing with anger, if you are dealing with, you know, everything and uh, you know, even up to simple things like you know what, guys, if you have friends who don't treat you well, you are not meant to live in their shadow. If if you have, if you have this, walk away from that situation. And um, so I published it and then I would just start telling people, I'd be like, So, you know, I I wrote, I want the kids to know about the courtrooms of heaven. So I wrote this chapter about it. And they're like, What do you mean the courtrooms of heaven? I'm like, what do you mean? What do I mean? What do you mean? What do I mean? But you don't know about the courtrooms of heaven? So then I'd explain the chapter. Well, the biblical, you know, this is this, and this is the biblical reference, and this is when God talks about it, and this is how you have to present your prayer request. And, you know, and I would talk about a chapter at lunch, and the people were like, What do you mean the Bible says that? Like, what do you mean God doesn't hear your prayers if they're not faith-fueled? What do I mean? You know, and I was so surprised by what I had assumed were very biblically simple truths, and maybe not simple, but profound truths. Right. But, you know, God's given you all these tools that are for you to use to make your life better, you know, not to live in lack and depression and anger and all the things that Satan wants you to live in. And the fact that they didn't have tools to move through life really surprised me. And uh then I came across this girl and she was, she was in publishing and she's a friend, and she said, I just really want to publish your book. She goes, I read it and she goes, it was insanely impactful. So then I sent the book out to a couple of friends and they're like, Melanie, like, I I can't even, I can't even wrap my mind around this.

SPEAKER_04: 24:43

Really?

SPEAKER_02: 24:43

And I think it's because it was written. It's you know, you you're very guarded. If you, if someone's gonna write something, it's like you guard, like I don't want you to see this side of me. This side's ugly. This isn't my best side. You know, I think you're probably gonna think a lot less of me if you knew this. This is this is something I really struggled with, you know. And but to your own children, it's okay. So I wrote it from a very safe space, and I think it's impactful because um it was never meant to be shared. And I don't think I would have shared that.

SPEAKER_00: 25:13

You literally had no plans to publish this outside of your family.

SPEAKER_02: 25:18

No, no, it was just like, no, and I I wrote a bit when I finished it, I just bound it and I wrote kids, you know, and it was just a little love letter. It's like I may not be here, but these are things you have to know because I want to see you in heaven. And I want you to live a full and healthy life, and I don't want you to be stuck, and and I don't want you to live underneath Satan's lies. Yes, wow, because so many of us live under the untruths and the identity that were given to us by the enemy.

SPEAKER_00: 25:44

Oh, absolutely. I mean, I feel like there's such a process to unwind from that, honestly. Especially if you grew up in similar, like a family like yours. I'm not gonna get into my family story right now, but you know, there was a lot of unwinding that I've had to do in literally learning who I am in Christ and not from the world standpoint, right? Yeah, and there's so many women that I talk to who really don't like they get their identity from the things they do, not you called them to be, like that actual being, right? Have you noticed that too? A hundred percent. Yeah, and you know what?

SPEAKER_02: 26:24

And that's the that's the trap of the enemy. Instagram is the trap of the enemy. You see everyone's perfect life. What people show you is the trap of the enemy, the lies that people say about you, what you believe about yourself. How about this? The lies that Satan tells you in the morning are is this really for you? Are you really a good mom? Are you really moving forward in work? You're always gonna be stuck. You're always gonna be single, you're never gonna have kids, you'll always be at lack. And then we believe them, you know, and we start and it and it shapes our identity. It's like, yeah, maybe I won't. Maybe it's not for me. Maybe I'm not as good of. And it's like, you are created in the image of the great I am, the Lord God who sits on the throne in heaven, the one who was in eternity past, eternity present, that the world exists because God was there to say, and I said, and it was. You start operating in, whoa, I'm a I'm a daughter, I'm a prince, I'm a I'm a friend, I'm an heir to a throne. It's like operate in that identity because that's when you start walking in power. And I'll tell you what, when you start walking in power, the enemy stops messing with you. You you almost become a it's like when I get up in the morning and my feet hit the ground, I know the enemy runs. And and I often go look for him. And I'm like, what did you say to me? What did you say to my son? What did you say to my daughter? I'm sorry, what did you just do? I'm coming after you today. I'm gonna find you because you cannot hide from me and I'm gonna rip your face off for that. So I suggest you stop doing it.

SPEAKER_00: 27:52

I love you. Yeah. I I say the enemy is such a punk. Um I carry around like boxing gloves because I really like smack it, you know. Come on, try me. Yeah. What would you say? You know, obviously I you're I can tell you're you're good at like catching the lies, but is there a lie that that tried to embed itself in your life um that you've really had to push back on a lot that maybe even comes up in this day and age?

SPEAKER_02: 28:21

You know, I the lie that I the lie that people uh the lie that I believe, um, and it's I think probably a lot of women struggle, is how likable am I? And I am a very bold, I don't want to say aggressive, but like if I have an opinion, you're gonna know it in five minutes. You know, and and sometimes in my life or in business, I used to have a friend for a long time and she used to be like, oh, it's just Melanie, it's just Melanie. And I'd go home and be like, Well, what do you mean by that? What does she mean it's just Melanie? Because I'll say things that I'm like, oh, I'm sorry that came out of my mouth, or things that I think are funny that no one else does, or you know, I have zero filter in my life. Sure. And the enemy always says, like, why can't you be more timid? Why can't you be more normal? Why can't you, why can't you fit in with those? You know, and and then I think, well, maybe I'm too much. And and every time my friend said, Well, it's just Melanie, I just, it was like death by a thousand paper cuts, you know? And I was just like, Oh, maybe I am too much. And that's the one that then I have to go back and reprocess that with God and be like, no, I am created because I am bold in my faith. God made my mouth because God uses my mouth. I pray for people in Starbucks. I I call truth. When when someone will believe darkness, I call truth. You know, it's it's if I see you protesting something that I don't believe that's not godly, you know, oh my God, I went crazy on the Charlie Kirk. I went nuts. And anytime I saw someone post something or say something or a protest, I'm like, that is a life. That is someone's son, someone's husband, that is someone's father. And I said, and how about the fact that you're on the other side? The man whose son killed Charlie Kirk, he had to turn his own son in. Right. Can you imagine living with that? What about that man? Okay, you can hate Charlie Kirk and his whole family. What about that guy? What about what about the pain that he's doing? You that you know, like I do not let evil stand in any sphere of my life. And so, you know, yeah, maybe I'm not for everyone, but I'm perfectly created by God for my purpose. And as long as I stay in my purpose, then that's good enough.

SPEAKER_00: 30:23

You just said it. I mean, I feel like that's that's a word for somebody, you know, like uh I I often tell myself, like, I'm not for everybody and everybody's not for me. Yeah. I mean, we can love people and we can Be who we are and be who we are created to be, and it will turn some people off, and that's okay. Um, but there is like a boldness rising up in women, wouldn't you say? And they need they need examples.

SPEAKER_02: 30:51

Yeah. Right? I I feel it and I love it. I want to hand everyone a flaming sword and be like, go get 'em!

SPEAKER_00: 30:58

Yes. Well, I don't know about you, but when when Charlie was assassinated, you know, back on September 10th, like there was a fire just coursing through my veins. Oh yeah, I couldn't even function on it. Coursing through my veins. And you know, he lived a life of being bold and unashamed and willing to go in places that most wouldn't even go into. And made such an impact because of his boldness, because of his voice. And I I believe just through your voice, even sharing this here today, you're gonna help unleash other women and men who listen in. Because yeah, the enemy's gonna try to shut us up one way or the other, and it's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_02: 31:48

No.

SPEAKER_00: 31:49

It's not gonna work. No, it's not not gonna happen. No, it just isn't happening. Um, so tell us the name, tell us the name of your book. You didn't share that yet, and I didn't say it because I wanted you to say the name. You're your kids You have to know.

SPEAKER_02: 32:05

You because you my kids had to know, and now you have to know the goodness of God. You have to know who you are, you have to know how to rise up, you have to know how to overcome, you have to know how to move forward. You have to know who you are.

SPEAKER_00: 32:19

Which which is your favorite chapter?

SPEAKER_02: 32:22

Oh, my favorite chapter is is the one that I said um of my little daughter, little Kylie. And man, she's 20 kids in one. And I don't know if anyone's ever had 20 kids in one, but we used to call her Kai Kong or Kaizilla. And the second her big brothers would build something, Kylie would hide and wait and and destroy it. She was just, she was just, it was, you know, and I loved her. She was, I delighted in that little girl, but man, she was a lot. My mom did not see her how I saw her. And every time she came over, it was like, you need to get that kid tested. Something's not right with that kid, something's not right with her. She's wrong. And Kylie was little, about five, and she felt the gravity of those words. So, you know, Eric would always come in and say, You need to stop saying that about my daughter. My daughter's perfect. She's perfectly and wonderfully created by God. And that little girl's gonna be a force. And no, she's not. She needs to be on medicate, she needs to be medicated. They'd argue, argue, argue. And um, Thanksgiving came, and I'm trying to bridge the gap. And it was my first Thanksgiving. And I said, Kylie, honey, will you go set the table with your grandma? So she goes and they're arguing. I hear it, and she puts down a fork, and Kylie picks the fork up and turns it backwards. And then she puts down a napkin and Kylie shoves it in her little Thanksgiving dress with the little brown turkey, and she starts acting like a puppet. She puts down flowers and then Kylie goes and she puts them somewhere else. It was like, whatever Jackie did, Kylie undid. And I just hear Kylie being silent, but but more defiant. The second she heard that words that were put on her that were not true, she became defiant in it. I love that about Kylie. So uh Thanksgiving comes and Kylie's nowhere to be found. Kylie, Kylie, where are Kylie? Where's Kylie? Kylie. She walks down, she's stark naked. And I'm like, oh no. She puts her tiny little fists balled up in the tightest little balls, and she puts her legs and she puts them right on her little hips, and she says, I am not who you say I am. And then she steps on the table on a chair, and then on Thanksgiving table, and Jackie said, Down, Kylie. Oh my God. All right, control her. And Eric and I just look at each other, and then we just look at Kylie, and she starts running the Thanksgiving table, and she kicks the turkey into the dog's mouth, and she steps in the gravy and she smashes the mashed potatoes over on my mom. Then all of a sudden I look over at my husband, and my husband stands up, and his arms are so strong and so big and so wide. And he starts clapping his hands and throws his arms out and she runs as fast as she can and she leaps and she jumps and he catches her and he holds her and he looks to my mom and my mom says, I told you there's something wrong with that kid. And he says, Jackie, I told you she's perfect. And then not only does he defend her, he turns to her and he says, Kylie, you are perfectly and wonderfully made. He not only defends her, but he gives her her identity. And in that chapter, I go into the story of Gideon, where Gideon was hiding in a winepress, and the angel of the Lord comes down. He says, Gideon, you mighty man of valor. And Gideon's like, No, I'm literally hiding in a wine press. And in the chapter, it's like, but that's not who God saw Gideon to be. Gideon saw him as the defender of Israel, as the one who would break the idols, that would stand for God, that would move a whole nation forward. That's who God called Gideon to be. So who told Gideon he wasn't enough? Who told Kylie she's not enough? The world, the neighbor, the person, the father, the friend, the spouse? Because that's not how God saw him to be. And then that chapter is like like Kylie, you know, her, if you could see yourself through your father's eyes, you are perfectly and wonderfully made, heir to a throne, redeemed, restored, daughter, friend, princess. You are all of that thing. And then it's like if you have seen yourself as less than this is a declaration that you say to God, declare this. This is what you repent for. This is how you start seeing yourself, and this is your prayer to God. Because you have got to start operating in the identity of who God calls you to be, not who, not, not what the world does. And so that's my favorite, that's my favorite chapter in the book because that's the base of how we all need to start operating. Your identity comes first, and your your movement and your ministry come second.

SPEAKER_00: 36:33

Amen. Yes, amen. Okay, Kylie. Love her. Yeah, man, there's a lot about value in the book. There's a lot of like I think in pictures and I see movies when people are talking, and I'm like, oh girl, how old is she now? Kylie's 20.

SPEAKER_02: 36:49

She's finishing up her pilot's license. She um, she's on honors in college. She got herself a scholarship that I didn't even apply for. She came back and she's so I didn't even, she's a total nerd. And I'm not. I'm like, man, this kid, she's got like a four, three or whatever. You know, she had gold chains dripping from her on graduation. And uh I actually hugged her and I said, I had no idea you were such a nerd, Kylie. I had no, I had who knew? But man, that kid's a force and she's bold. She's every bit of Kai Kong that she was when she was five. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_00: 37:22

So she like has harnessed, um, basically, like she was created in this boldness, and it was harnessed. It's it's being harnessed now, like in a different way to utilize to be the woman she was created to be.

SPEAKER_01: 37:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 37:37

Um, is she still kicking turkeys?

SPEAKER_02: 37:40

Um, I don't know what man, she she sure she sure kicks some things. I don't know. It's like you do not, you know, and Kylie is the the she is such a good-hearted, sweet, Jesus loving woman.

SPEAKER_04: 37:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 37:52

Um, so it's not like she it's like kicking turkeys, like there's an aggression to him, but she knows who she is and she stands on that. And her boldness and her faith, like you do not tell Kylie things that are wrong because Kylie doesn't stand for him.

SPEAKER_00: 38:04

Amen.

SPEAKER_02: 38:05

So she'll look after her mama. Yeah, she's turkeys. That kid's a force. I mean, she would if she had to. That kid's a force, you know?

SPEAKER_00: 38:13

Force to be reckoned with.

SPEAKER_02: 38:14

Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 38:17

Oh my goodness. So when did your book release? Uh two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Okay. And where can people get your book?

SPEAKER_02: 38:24

Uh, they can get it on. You can either find me on uh Melaniecox.org. Okay. Or on Amazon. It's Melanie Cox. I'm I'm sorry, on Amazon, you have to know by Melanie Cox.

SPEAKER_00: 38:35

Okay. Sounds good. Anything else coming up for you that you want to share with the audience? Any events or anything that you'd like to share that we can lead people to?

SPEAKER_02: 38:44

If you're in California, I'm starting to speak at conferences. You can um find me on it's Melanie Cox on Instagram and I'll post things that I do then. Um I'm starting to preach in Cowboy Church. I don't even know what that looks like, but I gave my God my yes. I think it's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_00: 39:00

Um I love, I love how you are just walking this journey and giving your yes and not knowing the fullness of it yet.

SPEAKER_02: 39:08

No, but it's the but it's the best. Your yes is your best life. Selfishly, for you to say yes to anything that God has to offer is gonna bring you to the fullness and your greatest accomplishments, your greatest happiness, your greatest peace, your greatest joy. Everyone's life should just be a yes.

SPEAKER_00: 39:26

Yes, yes, you know, best yes, yeah, yes, absolutely. It's a wild, it's a wild life when you give your yes, um, especially when you don't know the fullness of it. Because he's got it. Like he literally has so many fun plans for us, and he's so much fun. Wouldn't you say?

SPEAKER_02: 39:42

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00: 39:43

Like people think that God isn't fun. And I'm like, no, he's actually fun and funny.

SPEAKER_02: 39:49

Yeah, he's fun annually, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 39:52

Well, as we close today, I would love for you to share. Um, you know, I shared with you before this, I do this for the one. And if you could just imagine the one listening in today, do you have any other um words of like wisdom or encouragement that you'd like to share over this one? And then would you pray us out today?

SPEAKER_02: 40:11

Um, yeah, man, my wisdom would just be what I'm talking about. Go, go find your identity. Don't live in less than you were created to be. You are amazing, you are strong, you are perfect, you are beautiful, you are all that in a bag of chips. And and go find that person because that's who you're created to be. And anything less than that hurts God's heart. Because He does not make anything less than a masterpiece. And you are a masterpiece. So I'm gonna pray us out. Father God, I thank you for this podcast. I thank you for the one. I thank you for anyone who's listening who knows the truth of our voices, that sees who they were created to be, that they start operating in that truth, Father God, that you move them forward in the purpose they were created for. Anyone who is feeling stuck, Father God, you you lift them up and you tell them you take one step because the second you take a step, you are no longer stuck. We bring these women home, any of the lost sheep, any of the any of the lost, any of the the half then, the half measured, the less then's. Bring them up and bring them home. You start shepherding them home to where they belong to be. We pray that everyone's life is in fullness in Christ, that we hear your voice, that we know your voice, and that we feel your heart and that we know your heart. We thank you that you have done enough. If you do not one more thing for us in our life, oh God, you have done enough. Thank you for our purpose. Thank you for our heaven and thank you for you, Father God. We love you, Jesus. We give you our life, we give you our yes. Amen.

SPEAKER_00: 41:37

Amen. Well, Melanie, thank you so much for being here today. It's such a joy. I can't wait for your next book. Um, we'll have to have you on for your next book that's coming.

SPEAKER_01: 41:47

Is that a word? You have two books. I would say so, yes. No, I'm healthy though. I'm healthy though. I don't know why I'd have to write a second book. I'm so healthy.

SPEAKER_00: 41:54

I you've got multiples, so keep going. Um, so thank you for being a brave voice who's setting so many free. Um, I will be sure to add all of the links in the show notes to go check them out so you can get in touch with Melanie and get her book. I can't wait to read it. I am going to close with the anchoring verse over Hope Unlocked. It is, May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. And that's Romans 15, 13. So I will be back with another episode next week. Thank you, listeners. Thank you, Melanie. Thank you, Kristen. Appreciate it.