A Gratitude Attack: Finding God’s Love Through Grief and Loss with Wendy Bauer

What happens when performance Christianity stops working? Wendy Bower, author of Gratitude Attack, shares how God met her in the honesty of grief, anger, divorce, estrangement from her daughters, and breast cancer during COVID. Through Christian counseling, the Psalms, journaling, and learning to receive the Father’s love, Wendy moved from striving to intimacy and from head knowledge to heart transformation. She explains why a “gratitude attack” is not forced positivity, but gratitude that rises when we feel truly seen, loved, and held by God—and why compassion must come before telling hurting people to be grateful.

Wendy's contact info:

Website - authorwendybower.com

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

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Welcome And Meeting Wendy Bauer

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Welcome to the Hope Unlocked podcast. I'm Kristen Kurtz, your host. I pray this episode is like a holy IV of hope for your soul. Please help me welcome Wendy Bauer to the show. I'm so excited to have her here today. I always just love getting a chance prior to hitting record to meet guests. And she's one of these gals, and I'm like, oh, we have a lot of connections here, I can already tell. So super excited to have her here today. Before we get into your story and what you're up to in this season, would you share a little bit about yourself?

SPEAKER_02 1:06

Sure. And I'm just delighted to be here, Kristen. Yeah. I about myself, you mean what I'm doing now, or a little bit about my background.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Just yeah, who you are. I always like to say, like, who who does Wendy be? Like, who are you to the core? And who are you? Who are you? And like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:25

Okay. Whatever comes up. Whatever comes up. Yeah. Well, what I what popped into my head was that I I was once a performer, and now I just am in love with Jesus. And have I want nothing to do with performance Christianity because it failed me big time. It's all I knew early on. And now that the Lord has brought me out of that and into just like we talked about before the podcast, just being authentic and sharing our imperfect but powerful journey. You know, I I just am so blessed to just be in this place of freedom and love and yeah, so I'm a recovered performer. I'll put it that way. Recover.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

So so when you when you say performer, and and it might, you know, for me too, and maybe a guest, like they might be wondering, well, what what did performer look like for you? Because I they could think, well, maybe she was in plays or maybe she was on stages. Like what does that mean for you?

Breaking Free From Performance Faith

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Yeah. Well, you know, I did those kinds of things too, but what I'm talking about is I grew up, we were at church whenever the doors were open. I was that annoying kid that when we had the sword drills, I was always the quickest one to find the verse. I always the the Sunday school teacher asked the question, I knew every answer, you know, and I I'm blessed that I got so much scripture into me. And you know, so there were good parts about how I grew up. However, they were lacking, and it really underneath it all was that striving to earn God's love and approval. And where that started failing me was, you know, so you grow up, like I said, I'm blessed. I I accepted Jesus when I was five. You know, that is such a blessing. But anyway, so that started failing me in my 20s. You become an adult, and now, you know, life you're doing real life, and and I was encountering difficulties and getting depressed and hopeless because it was like, I know every answer to what I'm supposed to do, or I know the scripture that goes with this, and this is not doing anything for me. And I saw a Christian counselor, and he totally was like, Well, Wendy, your Christianity is all up in your head, it is not connected to your heart experience, and so he sent me on this journey of just being in the Psalms and journaling my own psalms. Well, I thought I wasn't supposed to tell God I was angry, you know, or whatever, because I learned, you know, oh, he that would be disappointing to him. And oh, you know, you should just be thankful, you know, all these things that you're told in this performative, like act the part, and then it will happen. No, acting the part left me feeling when life was hard, right? Empty. And so when I realized, oh my gosh, just like David, he could pour out his heart to God, and I love where he says in I think it's Psalm 51, I desire truth in my innermost parts. Yes, and it was sort of like a the beginning of me taking off this mask, this mask of who I was supposed to be as a Christian, and learning how to understand when my heart was actually believing what my head was thinking. Yeah, and so that's what I mean coming out of being a performer. Now, living an authentic Christian life is scary and it's humbling because there's a security you have when I know all the answers, but for me to be able to say, I don't know, I'm gonna have to look into that was hard, huh?

SPEAKER_00 6:11

That was a tough answer for you to come up with, right?

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Yeah, or to be like, you know, everybody's like, oh, how you doing today? Oh, I'm blessed, God is so good. And I'm like, you know, I'm having a really hard morning. I'm processing a lot of grief. And you feel like you're the wet blanket or whatever, but it's like, you know, I have to learn ways to do it where, you know, and sometimes it's just best to keep quiet because maybe people are authentically all having a really happy moment. You don't want to take from that. So it's learning that how you can be authentic. But you know, when you're really authentic and full of the love of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit, you don't have to say word. Yeah, you know, you can just be walk into a room and and it doesn't mean you're all happy, but it means that you're powerful in being exactly in alignment from the inside out and with God, you know. When we are seated in the heavenly places, I love, love, love living from that place. Yeah, it's a powerful place. And in my heart, I can be processing a difficult emotion, but then I'm like, you know what? But I'm a seated above this emotion, yeah. So this grief is not a giant, I have victory over it, and it's making a lot of noise today, but I am an overcomer, yeah, I am more than a conqueror, and grief is not my identity. You know, that's just how I do things now.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Yeah, I'm sort of all over the place.

Counseling That Connects Head To Heart

SPEAKER_00 8:00

No, I love it. So I I just want to like thank your counselor for taking you first of all on this journey. What led you to seek out counseling? I know some people, you know, maybe are maybe are listening in, they're like, I don't know, I've never really thought about you know going to see a counselor. Like, what what was kind of that that defining moment for you to step into that?

SPEAKER_02 8:22

Well, I'm gonna be honest, I'm I've been in and out of counseling all my life. I feel like it's very wise when, and especially I didn't realize till after a divorce in my 40s that I had a trauma from childhood that was so buried and it had created strongholds in my mind, you know. But anyway, but after that first really positive experience with that counselor, that was I lived in Connecticut at the time, and then I moved somewhere else and you know, just was like got to a hard place again and was like, you know what, I want to do that. But anyway, you asked why initially. And initially I had been married maybe two years, and I felt like shortly after the wedding, that this guy didn't really love me, and I didn't believe divorce was an option, and I felt like my life was over. I felt so hopeless, and what was so cool is is this counselor was like, you know, Wendy, don't even focus on the marriage, just focus on you becoming powerful, your powerful, authentic self, and that other stuff will improve, or you'll be in such a place that maybe what's bothering you now isn't bothering you anymore. Or, you know, it was it was such great advice, and I can't even remember the guy's name, and it was a long time ago now.

SPEAKER_00 9:52

Well, we could thank him if he happens to hear this, he's searching you up someday. Yeah, I just always think like there are certain people that come across our path that really completely change the trajectories of our lives, right? Wouldn't you say yes, yeah, and we get to be those people too.

SPEAKER_02 10:46

Exactly. That's why it's like, you know, I mean, the whole point is God works all things together for the good of those who love him, and it's not just for my good when we realize it's about so much more than just our journey, we're all connected, and if there's something really hard that I, by the power of the Holy Spirit and good counsel, overcome, that's not just for me. Yeah, and so even now, you know, when I, you know, because we're always in if we are living in obedience to God and and he's always taking us into new levels of faithfulness and challenge, and so so it never gets easy, right? You know, when I let go of, oh I mean, this happened like maybe 10 years ago. That's my like, oh, it's not supposed to be easy. That's such an American mindset.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

I know. Say say that part again.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

It's not supposed to be easy. Yeah, there's no need for the Holy Spirit if it's easy, and if that spirit is the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead at work in us, encountering just small little inconveniences isn't gonna show the glory and power of the Holy Spirit that is so crucial, such an important part of the Trinity that Jesus said

Living From Love And Overcomer Identity

SPEAKER_02 12:37

it's better if I go, you know, so that the Holy Spirit is in you, yeah, you know, and and the crazy thing is I had all these verses in my head for years, but there was no power. There was no power. Now, the greatest power is the love of God. Yeah, love is the greatest power, and so that's always what I first focus on before I'll even read my Bible. When I wake up in the morning, I look right up at the Lord, and I just take in his love. I usually cry. Good tears. Like it just is it's such a great, great way to start your day. Yeah, like you are so loved, you know. Then I'll then I'll open the word. Whereas years ago, I used to get up and I'd be grumpy or whatever, I didn't get enough sleep, and but then but I'd open my word, yeah, you know, and I'm not saying it wouldn't speak to me, but I'll tell you what, I just focusing on his love first is and in every situation is just so empowering for me. But you know, a lot of my theology for most of my life was focused on Jesus on the cross, which is beautiful and makes me feel loved, you know, and I'll cry tears thinking, oh my goodness, he loved me so much. He did that, yeah. But I was totally overlooking, and then three days later, he overose. And so it was just like, okay, so you know, I went from, oh, I want it to be easy, and then oh, it's but then also like, oh well, I guess I'm just a sufferer. That's what Jesus. It's like, no, that's suffering is not your identity either, so it's not supposed to be easy, but our suffering is not to be our identity either. I am an overcomer, yeah. And when that same power lives in me, now overcoming doesn't always mean I get the outcome I'm hoping for, but it means whatever the thing was didn't defeat me, didn't you know it's different, but you know.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

Yeah. I I was actually as they were as you were talking, I was seeing like seeing you have different like I love t-shirts that have words on them. Oh and it's like I'd rather wear a t-shirt that says overcomer than sufferer. Oh, yeah. Or victim. Or and you know, we all go through things. So I I want to make sure that we're not like discounting oh I'm done. I'm sure you've been through a lot, and maybe you can take us through some of these, you know, challenging, not easy moments of your life to get you to this place here today. Because I know in my life there's been a lot of crushing, and and the crushing, you know, you look at the olives, that there's oil that comes from crushing. There's you know, there's all these examples in the Bible of the crushing that it produces amazing things, right? So yeah, I just I just think that we have to have a different outlook. And it's it can be challenging sometimes. I don't know about you, but walking through the fire. Maybe take us through a moment that you've you know walked through the fire in your life. And I know you had some of those moments when you were younger, um, but maybe even something more recent where you came out on the other side and you're like, I see, I see what you

Divorce Trauma And Losing Her Daughters

SPEAKER_00 16:36

did here, Lord.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Well, I have two huge things that happened within the last decade. And the first one, I'm learning how to share publicly in a way that doesn't impact others. But um I went through a really hard divorce. Now, of course, divorce is never easy for anyone, yeah. But there was a narrative created, and and it was there was no biblical reason for divorce. They were two very imperfect people. I'm not putting all the blame on you know outside of me, but there was a divorce put into emotion, and and there was a narrative created, and my the the narrative was created because my spouse had a very powerful position in in this community that we had moved across the country to, so I was an unknown, and he was very highly esteemed in a very powerful position. I don't want to say you know anything more than that, yeah, but I had never would have fathomed. He he was in the mental health field and at a high level, and so he knew how to influence kids, okay, and especially when you're when kids are going through a trauma of divorce, that's trauma for them. Yeah, and he created a narrative that turned my own children against me. Now, I never knew that existed, and when I was in therapy for that, and and the therapist was like, okay, this is like domestic violence, but on a psychological level, the the level of control that was being employed. And it's actually considered abusive for children to do that, and but it's also when you lose children in a dynamic like that, it's harder to get them out of it than get someone out of a cult, because a cult is a parental figure, but when it's their true parental figure, it's like so I was like, when when my when my counselor first told me, like, Wendy, you need to brace yourself, you know, this is what's happening. I'm like, no, no, that can't be. And she was like, you need to start seeing how you can live your life without your daughters. And that just felt impossible. And then also for for several years, I was like, this is gonna turn around. This is not really, you know, or he's he's gonna like realize, you know, this is not good for the kids or whatever. But the whole community around us, they didn't know me, they knew him, they rallied around his narrative. It was soul crushing. I feel like in some ways, I am a miracle. I'm still not connected back with my daughters. Now I am remaining in faith, yeah, but I had to do what that counselor said, and I could not do it. No mother can in your mid life say, Oh, I picture the rest of my life without my children. Like that's that was soul crushing to me. And so, but through that, I had to revisit all of these things about God's love. How could God love me and let this happen?

SPEAKER_00 20:26

You know, that's a question that a lot of people ask when things, you know, challenging circumstances happen, right?

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And so what I started learning was I was even in that season of my life when the divorce happened, everything I was so burnt out. I was not caring well for myself. And and God and my counselor at the time was like, you need to get, I was in this high pressure corporate job, and I had like four different bosses, and everybody didn't care that somebody else's deadline was the same day as theirs, and I had an hour-long commute, and you know, it was crazy. And that counselor was like, You need you need to do work that is refreshing because this is gonna, this is a huge thing that you're facing, and you've got to put all that you have, you've got to like take better care of yourself, yeah. And but also I started realizing in that burnout I was disconnecting from God a bit. It's not like I still believed in him, but it's like I wasn't necessarily journaling every day, or you know, it was more just, you know, I'd say a little prayer here or there, but I was distancing from God because by that point my marriage was really difficult. And I just was like, Where are you, God? I made all these sacrifices so that you know this whole thing could work, and you know, real pity party, really, and very powerless victim mindset. And so, but when I realized, and I look back and I'm just like, there was power there for me, but I didn't tune into it. I was distancing myself from God because I was just feeling disappointed with him, and so like it's not like I said I don't believe in God anymore. Yeah, but anyway, so I started just really he started wooing me too. The Lord started wooing me, but I started like I I just went on this quest for. seeing God's love everywhere every kind of way to recognize it whatever because that truly is the most powerful force in the universe and I say now for a mama bear to be without her cubs and have composure and have hope and faith for her future right that's not humanly possible and but about seven years after that I got a diagnosis of breast cancer and I was like God you've got to be kidding me that's my you've got to be kidding me moment I thought the bottom had dropped out I thought I was at the lowest and then it dropped again and

Breast Cancer And The Father’s Compassion

SPEAKER_02 23:21

there was a point in early on because I had so I got diagnosed in September 2020 and so this is during COVID and I get my first chemotherapy I had surgery to remove the tumor and then I started chemotherapy in December well it landed me in the hospital for a whole week and this is during COVID. No one could be there like it was a nightmare I was in there for a week and I was realizing I had just bought a home I thought I'm finally recovering financially you know from the divorce I mean I still didn't have my daughters but I was like okay like this is a step forward and it was just like you know there was this one point that I was just like you know maybe I should just not do treatment and just go to heaven because I know you know I know God you know and the enemy can be so convincing at times like that like this this could be God just giving you an out you know yeah but you know I got good counsel and what I what I had this vision in prayer in my counseling session where I was understanding so so like I could feel a love of Jesus because he suffered and you know so there I am you know in the hospital in all this pain but I'm thinking okay well Jesus knows yeah but I was really struggling to have any kind of hope moving forward because sometimes estrangits will draw near like when you get a diagnosis like that but mine didn't and you know so you know there there's research on these things and yeah it doesn't mean they won't but you know for whatever factors were happening at that time and the and their father is really really tightly connected in their lives still so anyway I I in that session I was like I just don't understand why you know I I know Jesus lets me die on the cross well anyway she's like what about the father and I was like this was that moment that took and I was like I don't know where the father is and so and she really had to persist like we had to have a couple sessions where I'm like where's the father and but anyway it was my breakthrough moment when I got this vision in prayer where Jesus had his arm around me and he was what he walked me over to the throne where the father was and Jesus was like advocating you know telling the father and the father got up off I'm gonna cry now yeah it just meant the world to me and I mean this was like you know six seven years ago now yeah it's unforgettable the father had so much compassion he was moved to tears and he came and he and it was like I was in this group hug of the father Jesus and you guys imagine this use your fingers your vision right yeah and it was like and it was like he said I'm not gonna explain it all right now but I want you to know and I who's ever listening that's feeling this way I want you to know that I am deeply moved by all the rejection by the disease by the financial loss I am deeply moved yeah and my plans are good I just need you to trust me and it was like once I I had that connection with him it was like okay it's gonna be okay I'm not gonna see and my my book on you know gratitude attack it's gaining gratitude momentum while waiting for redemption what is the name of your book so it's called gratitude attack but the subtitle is gaining gratitude momentum while waiting for redemption so redemption has not yet come for a lot of my losses now praise god I am cancer free and as soon as I finished treatment and they thought it was going to come back really quick because actually I had such a violent reaction to the chemotherapy that they had to cut it back several times. So I didn't have your normal dose there's several kinds of breast cancer but this kind was known to aggressively come back quickly. And the fact that I didn't have enough chemo you know but I had you know even though I was struggling I had grown so much in my faith by that point. Yeah and so when I moved out here to Arizona after my cancer treatment for a new start my oncologist here I said to her I'm a cancer overcomer but she said something about being a remission I said oh I'm a I've overcome I'm a cancer well she did not like that and but now you know what no because you know what I feel bad for oncologists they they do see a lot of death and yet then they're expecting it you know what I mean they they if they're not a believer and and it's to my knowledge she's not and and they don't want to give you false hope you know they don't want to give you anything like that but I said no I'm an overcomer and I had several people early on in my family or whatever say oh well Wendy you're in remission and I said no I have overcome it's gone and God was telling me though that I had to you know be very diligent in speaking life declaring daily declaring the whole year after my cancer treatment I'm not saying I'm not saying I made this happen. You know God you cooperate with God's ways and anyway so between those two things losing my daughters and then the cancer those things have actually been trans I I love the woman I've become like I wish it hadn't been this way yeah but I love who I've become I would not know how powerful the Holy Spirit is I would not know how powerful the love of God is if I hadn't felt so unloved so hopeless and powerful powerless yeah so you know our greatest sufferings are the greatest opportunity to become well and really it's been a transformation that's not just a word I throw out there. I mean I have transformed into a brand new woman so that should my daughters ever reconnect yeah I'm just hopeful that they'll be like wow mom you know and see that I'm not a broken mess you know just oh you know this awful thing happened to me and you know that they'll be proud of who I become yes oh I just love everything you're sharing so far and I even when you said remission it's almost like you know how you say co-mission like commissioned it was like you've almost been remissioned. Oh re oh I like that right I love that I'd never heard that before did you just come up with that?

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yeah I've people often call me like a wordsmith I see words with I love that like I caught that when you said that I was like well sure now you could use that with an oncologist but in a in a way that maybe they'll hear it but you're like I'm on remission I love that just like when I hear somebody say oh you know retiring and I'm just gonna you know kind of sit in my lazy boy the rest of my life I'm like oh no you need to get re-fired. Yeah refired fire come on yeah thank you for sharing that you know part of your story it's it's so incredible and I I just love love love love

Gratitude Attack And Writing The Book

SPEAKER_00 32:11

gratitude attack yes you know I won't get into my story because this is your place but for those of you who know me you know that I've I've walked through a lot of fires myself and it was I don't know probably in the next or in the last five ten years that somebody just said just grab literally you're gonna need to grab gratitude like in these seasons that you're walking through because otherwise you can just get lost in the circumstances and to even pull out there was a book from I think it's Anne Boskamp called A Thousand Gifts I believe. Oh I read that it's awesome where she's literally just pulling out like I don't remember exactly what maybe one of hers was like thank you for the dish soap. You know like oh yeah I have whole thank you for my book yeah you know like thank you for like one one time I was just like thank you for the eraser because now I can erase like whoever invented this eraser thank you. So tell us how how did this book come to be did you ever think you'd be an author first of all like is that something that's part of you like are you already a writer like naturally ever since I was in first grade I dreamed about being a writer but I remember in my early 20s thinking what would I write about and anyway but I lost that dream like through that narrative after my created about me I thought I will never have a voice my reputation is ruined you know people didn't even ask me like they just took information about me and but anyway so this is huge.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

This is a resurrection power of that whole author thing. And here's the thing I wasn't even trying to write a book I just was pressing into the love of God and what I describe as a gratitude attack is what happened to me the first day I had one like a heart attack is like when you have this sudden like distressing event where there's a decreased blood flow to your heart. What I call a gratitude attack is when I have this sudden burst of so much love in my heart that it's like I like the day it happened I was processing grief. I was walking in my neighborhood and in sunny Arizona I had earbuds in my ear with worship music and I was crying and I'm pounding the ground in anger just like God this is too much to handle this loss is too much. And but then when I got some of that out and I stopped I'm I'm in front of this beautiful bright pink Bogan Villa hedge and anyway I try want to try to keep the story short but there I I'm just like starting to tune into the presence of God and remind myself okay you know like he's with me. And then it's like I'm looking at this hedge and it's like there's these two bright pink they're actually leaves that look like an upturned mouth and that two little tiny flowers it looked like they was smiling at me. And I started laughing and I'm like God it was like he's saying Wendy you know like first of all I see you and I'm like my hat and my shirt match that pink hedge and to me that's not a coincidence because for years he had been like connecting with me through colors. And then it was like he was like I see you honey I love you. I'm so proud of you that you're processing these emotions and you're not letting them overtake you. I I started becoming so thankful and I started walking back to my house and I I got in the door and I started just writing all this gratitude and then I posted it on Facebook with a picture of this flower and saying like you know yeah and then like now that just happens for me. So I don't my so for some people like they focusing on gratitude works for them but my suffering when it gets to a certain severity I don't try to focus on gratitude. I just focus on his love and to me that brings the gratitude naturally and so it's not for me like a discipline I don't practice gratitude I practice the presence and love of God and so it's a different way to come at come at gratitude. But I'll tell you like I told like every morning when I first focus on God's love I'll tell you those first several journal things are just I'm thankful you know things I'm thankful. It just happens it's not me trying that's good.

SPEAKER_00 37:03

So it's it's just it's part of who Wendy has become it's not there's not a doing or a striving to get into this space.

SPEAKER_02 37:12

It's how powerfully God God's love moves me his love just moves me so deeply I feel so loved.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Yeah beautiful I I love just even the word beloved because it's like be love be loving so what has been I love how you you capture I I love to say like kind of those little God moments those god winks the you know seeing him and the details I feel like if I leave my house or even when I'm at my house like I'm constantly seeing little God winks all over the place. What what is your favorite way to capture like how how do you feel like he speaks to you the most because it's I feel

Hearing God Through Personal God Winks

SPEAKER_00 37:56

like we all hear different ways like we see we hear it's through the Bible music how how do you feel like he really speaks to you the most well there there are several ways but the ones that like oh yeah move the most are when it's something unique to me like the first time like early early on after my divorce and losing my kids and I was just so desperate for for God.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

Yeah I look out I'm driving in a residential neighborhood and I'm slow because it's a residential and I look out the window and there's these 25 purple irises on somebody's lawn. Well first of all and this was the first day I started like connecting God was speaking me through a collar so irises are my absolute favorite flower and my favorite colour is purple and irises are they also are depicted like as a lily in some kind of oh I forget what they're called but anyway it's like a royalty kind there's a connection with royalty with both irises and the color purple as well yeah so it was just like but you know that first day when God got my attention like he was like first of all these are for you you know like these are for you and and but anyway so it's it's those things like like when it's something that's my favorite or like my favorite fragrance you know like I might be somewhere I remember recently like I I smelled a fragrance like I could not see where it was coming from but it was like I felt like it was the Lord he was just like brought this fragrance I love the orange blossoms in Arizona but it but it wasn't that time of year. It wasn't that time of year where they were blossoming right and it was it's like a supernatural yeah so yeah anyway it's it's when it's those like really detailed yeah and so but I love music music totally shifts the atmosphere in my heart and and I'm a mover and I'll do motions and dance when I can you know when you're driving in the car you can't necessarily dance but you know at home I will you know oh I love that it's such a great way like I I don't know about you but there's some days where I'm like I just don't feel like making dinner tonight.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

Yes. And then I throw music on and it's like it shifts the atmosphere. This is like for me music is one of my main things for sure. So take us on this journey of writing the book like what did that look like for you to get into your authority I love it I love what you do with words.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

Yeah so I went to a conference in the beginning of 2025 that was going to the next level it's called going to the next level with what God has for you. And when I went to that conference I had no clue what God was gonna put on my heart. But during that conference I heard it's time to write your book and I'm like what am I supposed to write about God? And and then I heard gratitude attack and it was like okay so I told you about that first gratitude attack well I had

Compassion Over Forced Gratitude

SPEAKER_02 41:44

I had at least 20 some that I posted on social media in 2024. And and so he was basically like I want you to share my work of how my unique way of like tuning into his love and how this gratitude came. So for every chapter in gratitude attack there's also actually one of the attacks that had been you know posted shared of you know sometimes it was just like a flannel shirt you know and then it's like all these things that that triggered you know the flannel shirt or you know the color orange or you know which isn't even my favorite color but I I've come to really like it and it's just you know but also then it's like explaining basically how I how I learned to go deeper and deeper into the love of God, practice his presence in love and then process my emotions so that I'm staying really connected with him and not distanced. And so that's what the book is about.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

Okay. Were there any challenges along the journey with writing or do you feel like it was just a it it came almost oh my gosh it just flowed and in fact yeah I just cried sometimes because I felt so loved and close to God while I was writing it.

SPEAKER_02 43:07

And sometimes I I wrote it I I went to this one restaurant kind of place that has a lot of healthy food around here and anyway but I'd have my earbuds in and like songs like the throne room or whatever you know or what was the song about the love of God oh my gosh and I just really most of it just flowed you know once or I mean it's normal for this wasn't a striving kind of thing not that author strive but you know I mean like everybody's process different and actually I just finished a manuscript for my next book and it was much different. It was much different though the process but for this one I just I just felt so close to God and just like because then I was like oh my gosh like he wanted me to see this is how I was working you know in you and so then to be able to explain that to others but also just what I learned about gratitude and how it like one of the chapters my editor was just like I'm so glad that's in there. It was about I saved it for later in the book for when the the the tough cancer journey part but I was talking about this one radiation tech that was just it seemed like she was just trying me to get me to be thankful you know and at one point and it was at the end of my treatment and I was so low physically every way and one day Just said to her, you know, really, if you could just like help me up onto the table and you could bring me a warm blanket without me asking, that would help me feel more grateful than when you're just telling me, oh, the sun is shining.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

Aren't you grateful?

SPEAKER_02 44:56

Yeah, like the acts of service, like love when someone is really going through, like they're very sick. And I had a friend that passed away from breast cancer six months ago, and I walked her journey with her. But at some points, I it's not like I knew like she was suffering so much, like saying, be grateful isn't gonna be what she needs. What she needed was compassion. And I like to say, compassion. Because so sometimes when people are super low, they need, and that's what God did. He showed me his compassion. God showed me his compassion. It didn't solve my problem. But but sometimes we need those around us just showing compassion, not saying, Oh, she needs to be grateful. Oh, come on, think of something you're grateful for. This will make you happy. No. Yeah. Like please don't show me compassion.

SPEAKER_00 45:51

Yeah. That's that's I mean, it's such a good reminder for you know anybody who has family or friends who are are walking through some really hard, hard things, right?

SPEAKER_02 46:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

Yeah. So so that was a real a real blessing writing that. And my next book is Joy Awakened. And I just finished the manuscript. You know, it'll probably, you know, sometime in 2027, it'll be out, but it talks more about now how that joy in me, you know, is rising, how it, how it was like a seed that was asleep and it woke up.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

It's super blooming. Right. Right? Uh-huh. And if you guys, for those of you guys have been with me for a long time, you know, Hope and Lock started 2023, and we're just starting with videos. So now you get to see sweet Wendy here, and you can see the joy like radiating off her face, right? And what a testimony to his goodness. And for us, you know, to be able to walk through the fire and and come out with, I think it was a Proverbs 31, 25, where it says, those who look to him are radiant.

SPEAKER_02 47:05

Yes, yes. Their faces are never covered with shame. Yeah, yeah. I love that verse.

SPEAKER_00 47:12

Me too.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

And radiant. That's like to me, it's like we're reflecting that light from Christ's

Final Encouragement And How To Connect

SPEAKER_02 47:18

face as He's just so delighted in us and so pleased with us. And then our face reflects it.

SPEAKER_00 47:24

Yes, amen. Well, thank you so much for coming on today. We might have to have you back like right before your next book comes out. I would love that. I feel like there's more that we could share. But before we wrap up, I would love for you to share maybe a final word of encouragement or whiz. I do this for the one. Um, truly, I if you could get in mind the one who's listening in today that just needs another word of encouragement. And yeah, how does that sound? Would you mind doing that? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Well, this is something I held to through many hard years. Any thought without hope is not a thought from God. Because when you're really in a hard place, that enemy's voice is so loud and so convincing. And so if you're having a thought like, I will I'll never be able to get through this, or like early on, like I'll never be have a happy future. Like my best days are behind me. Now I say every day, my best days are ahead. But anyway, it's that we all have losses and or just really hard things where we feel like that's it. It's all it's all downhill from here. There's not gonna be there, could not possibly be anything, you know, good. So any kind of thoughts like that that don't have hope, God's God's voice will always have some kind of hope in it. So that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_00 49:07

Say the phrase again, just so somebody can write it down.

SPEAKER_02 49:10

Any thought without hope is not a thought from God.

SPEAKER_00 49:16

Amen. That that is a huge key for all of the listeners today. Thank you for sharing that. How can people get a hold of you? Authorwendy Bauer. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

Authorwendy Bauer. Yeah, authorwendybauer.com is the best place right now. I'm right now, the Lord's telling I'm in a really, really quiet season of listening. And so I'm not posting as much on social media. I'll be back. I'm on Facebook and Instagram, but but right now, if you go to my website, I have free resources on hearing the voice of God and intimacy with him. And then you can, you know, you can contact me if you know with a question or whatever on my website too. So that's the best one. Okay. And my book's on Amazon and everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 50:04

Well, I'll put all the contact information, her book link in the show notes so so before we close, I always end with the hope unlocked anchoring verse. It's may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. And that is Romans 15, 13. So thank you, Wendy, for being a brave voice who's setting so many free. I will be back with another episode next week. Thanks, listeners. Have a great day.